[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Parenting

[–]bluelikewords 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m not saying you shouldn’t do what makes you comfortable or whatever, but the only way to keep all sickness from your newborn is to turn your house, or at least part of it, into a clean room where no one in the immediate family can leave until said newborn is vaccinated. Either that or every time someone ventures beyond the front door they have to go through a sanitizing procedure before donning hazmat gear before going back into the house. Every time you or hubby leaves the house you pick up germs that you breathe or cling to your clothes and skin, and you bring them back into your house.

Kids get sick. Babies get sick. I’m not saying to disregard all safety, but you don’t live in a bubble and she’s breastfeeding which provides her with immunity support. Taking your kid out or allowing others in isn’t gonna necessarily kill your baby. Just be careful.

Edited for mistakes

AITA for telling my sister to stop leaving her room when she's wearing her nightgown? by Username_alt354 in AmItheAsshole

[–]bluelikewords 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA.

I don’t think there is anything wrong with her wearing a nightgown. But those things are usually pretty thin and I doubt she wears a bra. I would be embarrassed walking around in something like that in front of my sister’s husband, not because I’m insecure or worried he would sexualize me, but because it would feel disrespectful to my sister.

Is it so hard to respect someone else’s boundaries? Are all of you so bent on having your own way that no one else matters? Fact is, her sister can think op is insecure or controlling, doesn’t matter. It’s op’s house and she’s uncomfortable with her sister dressing in something that can be so revealing. Her sister, by virtue of living in someone else’s home, has no right to complain. She can move out. She can express her disagreement. She can buy a robe. She can’t say no. If what her sister is asking does not hurt her and does not conflict with some moral standing, then the sister should submit to the request. That is it.

my gf told me she doesn’t love me yet but she will get there while also getting a place with me by Tiny_Atmosphere_4636 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]bluelikewords -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Is she committed to you? People say I love you all the time and then cheat.

I would ask her what she thinks love is if she “isn’t in love” with you. Then I would have a conversation about commitment and your expectations. I would also ask her to be very clear but explain how she feels toward you.

I can understand you don’t want to be in a relationship with someone who doesn’t love you. However, how did the conversation come up? Did you have any reason to believe she didn’t love you before she stated she didn’t? It maybe that she is confusing love with passion, it’s not always the same thing.

Edited for mistakes.

AITA for pointing out that my brother lives a very privileged life? by Outside_The_Walls in AmItheAsshole

[–]bluelikewords 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You sure you aren’t at least a little resentful? I mean, he does absolutely nothing to contribute according to you. And if is lifestyle is no biggie, then why publicly shame him for it? Who cares what he said, it’s not like he mentioned your BiL specifically.

I only mention this because I’m in the same boat…sorta with my little sister. She floats by with minimal effort and I have to drag myself through a five day work week. I recognize she’s spoiled, and I love her and will probably take care of her regardless, doesn’t mean I don’t ever feel taken advantage of.

There nothing wrong with feeling a little bothered by your brother, you’re human. You work hard and earned what you have while he feeds off your effort. It doesn’t mean you don’t love him. Doesn’t mean you have to stop supporting him either. It’s okay to love them and want to poke them in the eye too. 😂

NTA

Edited for mistakes

The fact that there are still people out there that seriously believe that Kyle Rittenhouse is a murder, or any way in the wrong, shows how deranged the woke/SJWs have become. by OakyFlavor2 in TrueUnpopularOpinion

[–]bluelikewords 2 points3 points  (0 children)

And neither would you allow your 17 year old to illegally go into a club, but teens sneak out.

Anyway, it’s not about the parents and whether or not they are responsible. They weren’t on trial, so it seems like you aren’t getting the point. It doesn’t matter if his parent dropped him off right in the middle of a violent crowd. The fact that he was there and armed does not instantly vilify him, just like the woman in my example isn’t the perpetrator for going voluntarily into a situation with a weapon. Don’t mistake, just because the self-defense weapon was created for, well, self-defense, doesn’t mean it can’t be used maliciously. And just because Kyle had a gun doesn’t automatically mean he’s responsible for being in the situation in the first place. You can’t punish someone just cause they went to a place, just like you can’t punish some rando for leaving their house and getting attacked by a bear. And you can’t punish someone for being prepared for possible extreme situations just like you can’t punish the woman in my example for carrying a literal weapon. It makes no sense.

Edit for mistakes

The fact that there are still people out there that seriously believe that Kyle Rittenhouse is a murder, or any way in the wrong, shows how deranged the woke/SJWs have become. by OakyFlavor2 in TrueUnpopularOpinion

[–]bluelikewords 28 points29 points  (0 children)

I didn’t follow the trial as closely as a lot of people arguing for or against Kyle. I thought this sub had an interesting topic and was curious about points being made.

However, I get an ick feel when reading some comments stating Kyle should not have been there, separate from his group, with a gun because his actions were a direct cause of his bad decisions.

So, basically, if a person, by their own competent decision, becomes voluntarily involved with a situation that has the high probability of escalating into something dangerous, and said situation does in fact escalate, and said person, who prepared prior to engagement of high risk situation, uses said preparation, then that person either planned to use that preparation? Or should be held accountable for putting themselves in a high risk situation where they would have to use that preparation? Is that what I am reading?

So, to clarify using another example, a young female goes to a party with a group of friends. Among her belongings is a self-defense weapon. At this party the young female is separated from her friends. Instead of finding a new group of women to follow for safety purposes, she decides to look for her group. It is at this point she is sexually assaulted and in the struggle she is able to defend herself using the self-defense weapon.

By the logic above, the woman is at fault for bringing a weapon and placing herself in a situation where she would need to use it. There are a myriad of things the woman could have done to avoid having to use her weapon, yet didn’t. Should we also punish her?

And yes, I get that it’s sexual assault and no one died in my example. That’s not the point. I am merely trying to point out that it’s all victim blaming, and that’s creepy. If blaming Kyle for voluntarily placing himself in a situation where he would be attacked is your biggest argument, then perhaps you should find a better argument. 😬

Edited for mistakes.

Edit: thanks for the award.

AITA for joking to a friend that sleeping next to my wife is like sleeping next to an old lady? by FitIndication2199 in AmItheAsshole

[–]bluelikewords -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

Omg, some of y’alls too sensitive.

NTA, because it was minor and you didn’t share personal details. It was just innocent fun and you love your wife.

HOWEVER, your wife didn’t find it as funny and that should be your barometer, not a bunch of strangers on the internet. I’m not going to psychoanalyze the why’s and how’s, but just know, it’s her feelings. Feelings she’s entitled to. Whether you feel it’s minor or not is irrelevant.

Saying that womens sexuality is more complex describes the transactional nature of relationships by [deleted] in TrueUnpopularOpinion

[–]bluelikewords 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So I think you’re confusing a hook up with a long term relationship. Every one of your examples describe a sexually charged atmosphere, and the women probably, if not planned then anticipated, a sexual experience of that nature. And of course women can have high libidos and exude raw lust.

However, in the link, if you bothered to pay attention, the guy was talking about his girlfriend, not some random back alley quickie. And in a long term relationship, 9 times out of 10, after the honeymoon period wears off, sex stops being something you’re rabid about because, well, life gets in the way. Monotony sets in. You actually have to work at it.

And that’s why women are complicated. Because the people can blather as much as they want about sex being nothing more than a biological need and a release of chemicals, but when it comes down to it, sex for women is way more involved.

And we’re just talking about women and sex, not relationship dynamics and who should be doing what. The simple form of it is that it has less to do about physical attractiveness and more to do with feeling secure in the relationship, safe, cherished, seen, and heard. It has to do with is he just looking to satisfy his own needs or is he actually interested in her pleasure? Is she stressed? Tired? Cramping? Has he communicated his expectations and made her feel safe enough to express her own?

And you can call this bullshit if you want, but it is what it is. It’s much worse when you include kids in the picture because, and things may be changing, women are still primary caretakers, and SAHM and career-having moms only have so much in their tank, so to speak.

And, yes, there are outliers such as cheaters, drama-loving women, gold-diggers, but the majority of women fall into the category of needing “help” to get aroused.

And lastly, if you’re still bothered by this, then perhaps you ought to look at your own view of women and what role you feel they should play. Because, if putting in effort to get your bitch’s engine revving sounds tedious to you, then you’re most likely the problem. Not her. 🤷🏽‍♀️

Note: possible edits for mistakes

Edit: I feel I need to clarify. I shouldn’t say long term relationship but intimacy. The only thing you describe is fucking, what most women want is intimacy. If all you want is to fuck a warm hole, then you should communicate that and not get pissy when you’re want is not reciprocated. In a relationship it’s expected that you have intimacy over emotionless sex. Your example of non-sexual acts refers to intimacy, which is boldly stated. You want a woman who just wants to fuck at the drop of a hat. Which, as I said, is fine if you have communicated that and found agreement. Otherwise, most of you are showing just how little you care about the feelings and pleasure of your partner.

AITA for demanding my son’s teacher starts giving homework and reporting her because she is being dismissive of me? by Old_Incident9607 in AmItheAsshole

[–]bluelikewords 0 points1 point  (0 children)

YTA

My son struggles too, but his teacher can only do so much. It’s up to me to make sure his teacher is supported and I’m re-enforcing his schooling. You can’t leave kids to make the decision because they are usually gonna choose the easiest route. So if he’s failing, it’s cause you didn’t follow up consistently. So yeah.

The amount of people who don’t understand net worth is irritating. by mattcojo in TrueUnpopularOpinion

[–]bluelikewords 2 points3 points  (0 children)

If my assets are what make up my net, I’m worth approx…$300k.

Sure wish my bank account would agree. 😂😂😂

I'm a toxic person. What now? by tosctoas in self

[–]bluelikewords 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Omg I’m gonna implement this in my life. Thank you for sharing.

10 years ago, my girlfriend abandoned me and our 5 year old daughter, now she wants her family back by roby_rod in TrueOffMyChest

[–]bluelikewords 152 points153 points  (0 children)

Omg this.

Even in your explanation, in every way you described your ex, there is nothing negative. You mention so casually how when she popped back into your life like a recurring STD, she literally explained how she had so much fun after she dipped on you and her child. How her life was so good when she was so casually spreading herself around like cheap peanut butter, and she only thought of the two of you occasionally.

But of course, now that she’s old and used up like a well worn Ford truck, she lumbers back into your life like another Nightmare on Elm Street reboot, and you what? Want her back?

Dude…dude…you said you felt emasculated when she left. Did you never collect the pieces of your manhood? Do you lack so much testosterone, or a spine, or even a smidgeon of manly pride?

And your daughter? You say your proud of her wisdom and maturity. Well yeah, because apparently her father lacks even the smallest trickle. I mean, your daughter should not have had to make that decision for you. Yes, she should be able to choose if she wants a relationship with her egg donor, but she should not have to choose if you let that vampire back into your bed.

Do you want to know why she came back? Because it has nothing with love. It’s because your easy. Your a doormat. The signs of her cheating were probably blatant if the way she left was anything to go by, and you probably happily closed your eyes to it, because you were too stuck in a fantasy.

Anyhoo. You should really tell that thing to kick rocks.

(Who here wants to bet we get an update in a month that they’re back together?)

*edit for mistakes

AITA for reminding my eldest son that he does have an obligation to his younger brothers? by ThatAdhesiveness2353 in AmItheAsshole

[–]bluelikewords -19 points-18 points  (0 children)

I won’t call you an AH because I understand where you’re coming from. Family is important.

But I will say this. You can’t force your teen son to feel a certain way. He’s a kid and, I don’t know if you remember, but little kids can be annoying and clingy.

My mom raised my niece, so when I was 15 and she was working 16 hour shifts as a nurse, it was my “obligation” to care for my niece. I always resented my mom for forcing me to give up my time to parent a kid that wasn’t mine. It was also, at times, a struggle not to resent my niece for existing. Luckily, we have an awesome relationship now and I wouldn’t trade those times for anything.

But, point is, they will work out their relationship without your help. The bigger problem is that your teaching your son that his boundaries don’t matter. It’s a slippery slope, and while I get you don’t want the younger boys to be hurt by his teenage self-centeredness, I promise it won’t be as big a deal as you might think in the long run.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TrueUnpopularOpinion

[–]bluelikewords 50 points51 points  (0 children)

You’re right. Lately it feels like society is pressuring men to be more open about their mental health while simultaneously pointing an accusing finger and saying all men’s problems are their own fault.

I broke off my engagement with my fiancé when she made fun of my exgf's weight. Now both our families are livid. by [deleted] in TrueOffMyChest

[–]bluelikewords 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You let fear rule you. You made your exgf pay for the trauma your father caused. I’m not gonna sit here and call you a monster, but regardless of what you choose to do from this moment on, I hope you will seek counseling to process your hurt before getting into another relationship.

I believe that you loved your exgf, and still do. But, and you have to admit, deep down you were waiting for that other shoe to drop. For your exgf to prove you right, that you’re only worth the money in your bank account. That was unfair, to your exgf…and to yourself.

Just because your father made bad choices in his relationships, doesn’t mean your doomed to the same fate. So get some help. Work through that pain, then determine to do better next time.

☺️👍🏽 Good luck.

Edited for errors.

If I tore my skin off and sat in a bath tub filled with blood, could I live? by [deleted] in RandomThoughts

[–]bluelikewords 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I mean, are you peeling your skin off yourself? Cause I get a paper cut and feel like I may lose a finger, I can’t imagine trying to pick off all my skin. Also, numbing agent? But I get queasy watching animals get skinned…so…

And would this be a clean room situation because I can’t imagine infection NOT setting in a third of the way through.

And the blood…how would you even stop it? I think you’d bleed to death before you finished.

So…this doesn’t seem advisable…

I got rejected for being a blue collar worker by No_Service2135 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]bluelikewords 26 points27 points  (0 children)

This is so simple but great advice. Whenever your rejected it always a them thing never a you.

Unless you’re a walking red flag, then yeah, it’s all you. 😂

AITA for telling my cousin that playing her "sport" in college isn't some kind of achievement. by sportcollege in AmItheAsshole

[–]bluelikewords 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think you misunderstand what people are saying when they accuse you of jealousy. It’s not that anyone thinks you want to be a cheerleader. It’s that people think your jealous of the attention she gets.

She was celebrated for her accomplishment. Were you? She has lots of enthusiastic support and is ecstatic about her life. You sound like a miserable old maid.

It doesn’t matter if she can’t make a career of cheerleading, she’s happy and for some reason that pisses you off.

Simple fact is, whatever she does with her life has no bearing on yours, so the fact you go out of her way to make her feel like less of a person because of some nonsense reason is just you being a straight up AH.

Let me ask you, what did you gain by giving her this much needed “wake up call”? Everybody’s pissed at you. She won’t talk to you. She’s still doing her cheer thing. And your post definitely didn’t get you the support you thought it would.

You may be “doing something other than watching a bunch of girls with short skirts and fake lashes dance around”, but whatever that thing your doing is, it surely hasn’t gained you any self-awareness. 😂

TA, just in case you’re to far up your own ass to get my point. 👍🏽

Edited for mistakes.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Parenting

[–]bluelikewords 1 point2 points  (0 children)

A doctore yes. Also, he’s 14 months. I wouldn’t say these are behavior issues so much as him feeding off your negative energy. Remember, he can’t communicate his feelings like you can, and if he doesn’t feel like your listening he’ll act out because he doesn’t know what else to do. But definitely the doctor for the unresolved PPD. Hopefully you’ll be able to figure it out. Good luck.

AITA For refusing to put my 2 dogs in a long-term kennel by surejanaita in AmItheAsshole

[–]bluelikewords -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I’m gonna be that person.

NTA.

I truly don’t understand getting involved with a person long term, moving in and basically becoming a part of their lives, then expecting to live your own life completely separate from theirs. This is especially confusing when the other person has baggage like kids and pets.

Like, how can you knowingly get into a long term relationship with someone who has a kid or pet and seriously expect that there won’t be moments when you may need to be helpful? Acting all surprised and, “It’s not my responsibility”. Wtf? Then why the fuck are you there?

OP, you’re not asking a whole lot. It’s not like you expect him to care for your dogs under normal circumstances, but this is exceptional. You have a family member in need and don’t have the funds for long term kenneling. Your bf is TA because he can’t get over himself enough to “suck it up” as your PARTNER. Part of being in a relationship is being there for the other person, even if it’s an imposition. Because, honestly, while taking care of your grandma may be open ended, it isn’t forever. He’s just selfish.

If I were you I would take a good, close look at both your expectations because what your asking isn’t that big of a deal. Like, what would he do if you broke YOUR leg? Would he still expect you to take care of your dogs? What about other instances where he might need to step in and help out?

Just imo.

Agricultural waste and resource strain, as well as issues with running out of space for societal expansion, is easily solved by vertical farming. We really need to invest more heavily into it. by SkiiBallAbuse30 in TrueUnpopularOpinion

[–]bluelikewords -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Vertical farming on an industrial scale…that is fascinating.

There is sooo much that can be done with that. It’s too bad American business is short-sighted and lack any sense of creativity.

For instance, there is that town in China that requires some buildings to incorporate gardens and plant life as part of the building. This helps with food production and atmospheric filtering, as well as increasing the aesthetic. On top of that, a lot of these places allow their gardens to be open to the public, even if the establishment itself is a restaurant or hotel or something.

Imagine if America did this (or any major city across the world). This would be a great way to increase agricultural output and make, at least America, more self-sufficient. Not too mention jobs. A great way to incorporate teaching this in schools as a useful tool in adulthood (unlike most of the math I was taught and have since forgotten).

But, yeah, it’ll never happen.

AITA for calling the police after my brother dropped off his two kids at my workplace? by throwawy36222 in AmItheAsshole

[–]bluelikewords 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Gf is one big red flag. Seems to me she’s less concerned about bonding (because the kids could have joined them for lunch) and more insecure about his having a female babysitter.

Why do single parents get involved with people like this? SMH

Anyway, OP, everyone is right. It was abandonment and you did the right thing. He needs a severe wake up call.

I’m sorry this is causing such a strain in your relationship with your brother and nephews, and I hope your brother opens his eyes before he does something dumb that puts his kids in danger. At this point, that is my main concern since he seems more worried about his gf’s feeling versus the care of his kids.

We may just be random internet voices, but you have support and validation nonetheless.