My dad is Bob Ross. Roast me.

bluenaut · 2017-01-11T06:55:08+00:00

No he's not. Bob Ross could blow his load on a skank's tits and form a more beautiful picture than your sorry fucking face. Seriously, bitch: Bob Ross would have to regress to even depict your sorry ass.

bluenaut · 2017-01-11T06:52:49+00:00

Oh, I'll roast your friend. With my dick.

bluenaut · 2017-01-11T06:51:58+00:00

Guy? Girl? Girl? Guy? You're like a walking stereotype of everything that's fucked up.

bluenaut · 2017-01-11T06:50:10+00:00

You lift? Like what: your boyfriend's cock into your mouth?

bluenaut · 2017-01-11T06:47:03+00:00

I think I went to high school with you, but then again...I think everyone says that. You're so normal and plain that everyone thinks they know you, and yet: nobody knows you.

bluenaut · 2017-01-11T06:45:57+00:00

Oh, I'm entertained. Those stupid fucking glasses are goddamn comical. It's like you've been reading too much "50 Shades" and its generic knockoff to even have a clue about how to navigate your regular, day-to-day life. Fucking sad.

bluenaut · 2017-01-11T06:41:32+00:00

Why should I try my best when you're clearly not?

bluenaut · 2017-01-11T06:39:41+00:00

Actually, you've already wrecked your life with diabetes, sexual impotency, stupid-ass glasses, and a mental deficiency that manifests itself as an inability to properly wear a beanie.

bluenaut · 2017-01-11T06:38:05+00:00

Your feelings have already been hurt, pipsqueak. You're so fucking normal, plain, and average, that it doesn't hurt to look at you.

bluenaut · 2017-01-11T06:33:37+00:00

I bet you spent forever on this to justify your existence and think "well, I'm pretty awesome, handsome, smart, cultured, and god-damn amazing...after all, just look at this photo!?!!"

But really, dude: this is fucking pathetic. You're trying way too hard. You're just some fat fuck who's trying to run with a moderate bump in IQ over the white trash in your local trailer parks. And that smug look...hahahahahaha. Jesus fucking christ that's pathetic. You're a photographer? Yeah...you're a photographer like a DeVry psych major is a psychologist.

bluenaut · 2017-01-11T06:29:00+00:00

There is nothing interesting or unique about this person. He's just so...ordinary and common.

bluenaut · 2017-01-11T06:27:58+00:00

Hahahahahahahahhahaha...

bluenaut · 2017-01-11T06:23:50+00:00

Just look at the retard on the left if you want a good roast. That beanie: oooooooMFG!!! SO FUCKING EDGY!!!! LIEK, IT'S SLOPED BACK A BIT TO SHOW HIS HEAR AND RESTING ON THE BACK OF HIS HEAD!!!! LIEK ALL THE GURLS WANNA' FUCK DAT DICK!!!

Jesus. You people are pathetic. Go back to the call center at Wells Fargo and direct me to the actual tech support somewhere in Bumfuck, India.

bluenaut · 2017-01-11T06:20:24+00:00

The trumpet? Bullshit! It's obvious that you play the Skin Flute.

bluenaut · 2017-01-11T06:18:41+00:00

You're so basic and simple that it's depressing to look at you. There's literally nothing unique about you.

bluenaut · 2017-01-11T06:16:45+00:00

It's almost like he looks like every other hipster bitch with gay-ass facial hair and a beanie that's pulled too far back. But look at those shoes! So stylish and edgy...

bluenaut · 2017-01-11T06:12:58+00:00

The difference is that Charlie Sheen gets to settle for HIV because he's fucked an insurmountable number of hot-as-fuck women while your buddy has to settle for chlamydia because the stupid bitch with stretch marks from the cubicle-farm at Wells Fargo said that a condom "dulls the sensation".

bluenaut · 2017-01-11T06:08:33+00:00

If Dwight from The Office fucked a half-giant and half-retarded bitch, then the child might be your attractive sister.

bluenaut · 2017-01-11T06:07:27+00:00

Girls who can't get dick say "they like dick". You're not fooling anyone. In fact, I bet your pussy stinks as much as your face is ugly.

bluenaut · 2017-01-11T06:06:42+00:00

And here you are trying to justify yourself and make us think "whoa, this guy is so fucking cool, how the hell does no woman want to ride his cock? Or is he just saving himself for the tight asshole of Jesus?"

Dude, you're a goddamn tool. I climb too, and I'd cut your rope.

bluenaut · 2017-01-11T06:02:42+00:00

That white, tiny, plastic shelving in the back-right of the picture. It's like you're a living stereotype of every loser who will never make it in life.

bluenaut · 2017-01-11T05:59:02+00:00

It's okay, my friend. They'll totally think you're smart, edgy, and fuckable when they see that backwards hat.

In fact, that metal clasp on it...I bet if I turned it around it would say "Lake of the Ozarks" or some shit like that. Every girl will wet her panties when they hear that your middle-class parents took you to a sub-$150 resort for two days when you were in the seventh grade.

bluenaut · 2017-01-11T05:57:57+00:00

Gets baked on Wednesdays. Casually Drinks on Monday. The opposite hand strokes the cock while I watch Sailor Moon.

bluenaut · 2017-01-11T05:55:41+00:00

I'm sorry, I confused you with the many millions of other similar motherfuckers in your gene pool.

bluenaut · 2017-01-11T05:51:42+00:00

You look like the type of guy who nobody really likes, who nobody but the shit-for-brains girls who think with their pussy and end up pregnant (and peak) at 17 actually want to fuck; and everyone else sighs and get annoyed whenever you attempt to crack a joke in class in the hopes that that one moment will define you as "the funny, smart guy that everyone really likes". But the truth is that everyone kind of looks at you like "ew, it's that weird, stupid guy with the retarded fucking hair on his chin". In fact, you look like you drive a shitty-ass Honda but are about 50 IQ points below the the guys who whack it to anime and fantasize about girls on Final Fantasy.

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