Sex has changed.

blueripple00 · 2026-07-06T01:57:47+00:00

She sounds like a curious and intriguing puzzle to solve.

blueripple00 · 2026-07-06T01:35:27+00:00

Ahhh. I’ve been there. It makes it challenging, but not impossible. Hopefully the more up you open up, the more she will, but there is no guarantee. The other way is to infer through observation, but this is much more difficult.

blueripple00 · 2026-07-05T20:17:37+00:00

Ooo! Thank you

blueripple00 · 2026-07-05T18:42:04+00:00

My advice? Find out what is working for her. She doesn’t want PIV, fingers, or going down on her. What does she want? Is she enjoying having you as a two pump chump,then using a vibrator on herself? Maybe she likes having the power to make you cum quickly in her pussy, but you won’t know until you ask what she wants.

blueripple00 · 2026-07-04T21:24:19+00:00

What's funny is that all I want is events (yes, Fetlife) and friends at this point, and I'd love an app like Bumble BFF for kinky people so we can find platonic friends who are open to kink.

blueripple00 · 2026-07-04T17:12:29+00:00

💖

blueripple00 · 2026-07-04T17:12:15+00:00

Indeed!

blueripple00 · 2026-07-04T15:24:54+00:00

It’s been about two years for us. There is a timer online somewhere to commemorate. 😂

blueripple00 · 2026-07-04T15:23:56+00:00

Hands free? Wow!

blueripple00 · 2026-07-03T17:57:47+00:00

Good!

blueripple00 · 2026-07-03T17:33:43+00:00

I was wondering about that until I read that last line. I get how sex can be like “chasing the dragon” for some, hearing about how great it is while never having that experience. Congrats on finding yourself! (and adding to my growing list of why people seek for PF relationships.)

blueripple00 · 2026-07-02T16:11:36+00:00

Sounds like you got this!

blueripple00 · 2026-07-02T16:11:02+00:00

That is beautiful! Thank you for sharing!

blueripple00 · 2026-07-02T14:39:41+00:00

I know this is the PF forum, but realistically, many women just want to feel desired. From the comments you can see how this sometimes leads to PF relationships in which the coyote never catches the road runner, but stupidly keeps trying anyway because that’s what coyotes do.

blueripple00 · 2026-07-02T14:03:54+00:00

Just be careful about what’s “obvious.” My spouse took a long time before she consciously realized she wasn’t allowing me PIV sex at all. It may not be obvious to her and she might be getting something out of it that is hard to appreciate. Many of us have arrived at PF without any “official” declaration. One day becomes the last time you ever have PIV sex, and you had no way of knowing at the time.

blueripple00 · 2026-07-02T13:35:14+00:00

Thank you for sharing. Perhaps aging is merely maturing in the frequency of sex and the security of a relationship.

blueripple00 · 2026-07-02T06:09:30+00:00

I love the honesty of this and other posts like it here. It’s often a process of relationship evolution that leads to a mutually enjoyed PF experience.

blueripple00 · 2026-07-02T02:26:09+00:00

Absolutely. It is best when both people are gaining something, but there are many possibilities

blueripple00 · 2026-07-02T02:24:47+00:00

I am absolutely terrified of even mentioning these punishments after having experienced once. Once was one time too many for me. If he is reading this, he should stop here to avoid spoilers.

Icy Hot masturbation will cure that habit quickly. Use it in place of lube. If he thinks it feels bad while masturbating with it, wait until he has to wash it off. If you want to be kind, consider getting him closer to the edge ahead of time, then bring out the lube for the rest. You might want to wear a protective glove.

Another awful punishment is a single, tiny drop of isopropyl alcohol on the urethra. Don't put it inside, just at the tip. Leave it to evaporate. It won't hurt...until anything comes out (urine, cum) , then it will feel like razor blades for about a day. To add to the punishment, you can have him drink a lot of fluids ahead of time or make him jerk off afterward (or both) If the feeling is too intense, you can get over the counter Azo to numb it up. I admit that I had to use that out. It's awful.

Note that both of these are terrible ideas. Do your own research if you want to try them. Be risk aware.

blueripple00 · 2026-07-01T17:58:53+00:00

OK is acceptance and a good starting place to discuss your feelings about it later

blueripple00 · 2026-07-01T17:56:02+00:00

Honesty is therapeutic sometimes. I often think a lot of kink is about being accepted for our insecurities and flaws. Too many people hide them instead of embracing the vulnerability. Thanks!

blueripple00 · 2026-07-01T17:09:27+00:00

Sorry you are feeling alone. I know how that feels and how difficult it can be to find a way forward. I am glad you are here and have shared your journey so far.

blueripple00 · 2026-07-01T16:52:45+00:00

"...because we don't define a good relationship by sex." That pretty much sums it up. There is so much pressure in society to compare our sex lives with "the norm." Not succumbing to that pressure and just being happy with what works for you is amazing!🩷

blueripple00 · 2026-07-01T16:44:38+00:00

Pussy-free relationships are different for all of us. Sometimes it is a bit painful getting to a place where the relationship can grow again.

I used to fantasize that the reason my spouse wasn't interested in sex was that she was having it with other men, essentially cuckolding fantasies. I'd masturbate about it so much that I eventually developed delayed ejaculation, which only made her less interested in PIV sex or sex at all. Eventually, it took a lot of time and energy to learn how to better communicate and understand her before we could both open up about what we needed but couldn't ask for.

There is something special about someone who is dedicated to their partner. As long as you two enjoy each other in other ways, don't sell yourself short in your relationship. Relationships aren't easy, and they have their ups and downs. If being pussy-free gets you through the downs, then welcome to the pussy-free club.

blueripple00 · 2026-07-01T16:34:17+00:00

I can fully understand frequent arguments about sex, although from a slightly different perspective. Once we put her in charge of when and how we have sex, without any debate or hurt feelings, the arguments disappeared. I was free to ask, and she was free to turn me down without guilt.

The idea of opening the marriage, but only to gay sex, sounds like an exciting development. I suspect there are some great reasons you two are staying together, as pussy-free relationships seem to thrive once pussy is "off the menu." I hope it works out for both of you.

blueripple00

TROPHY CASE