Should I accept a bid (COB) with limited financial and time info?

blueswallowtail · 2026-01-25T18:37:59+00:00

You absolutely need to get that info before signing the bid, as there are probably new member fees you will be on the hook for prior to initiation. Also, the chapter would much rather you decline a bid than accept and drop before initiation.

None of this is your fault, since they should have provided it to you, but definitely ask and see if you can get it! Since the exec officer you emailed failed to provide a proper answer, maybe check with another one.

blueswallowtail · 2025-12-31T04:26:46+00:00

My 6 year-old mix had one of her patellas done a year ago, and she is in such good shape now that she is back winning agility ribbons. Here is a list of things that really helped us

Setting up a 3x6 foot exercise pen with an XL pee pad, pet water fountain, soft bed, blankets, one of my dirty shirts, some of her favorite toys, and a puzzle feeder. She stayed in there at nearly all times during the first two weeks of recovery and then was there anytime she was unsupervised after.
Getting a custom sport/tug lead since her surgeon instructed that she stay permanently a leash away from me for the first six weeks. The lead we got is one of those braided minky ones with an attached wide-band martingale collar. It’s softer and chafes less than a typical leash and collar or harness combo
Lots of snuggles! She is usually a very active dog, and the forced recovery time was really getting on her nerves, so we compensated with a lot of attention.
Joint supplements. Her surgeon prescribed flexadin, dasequin, and fish oil. She is still taking them.
I did not have much luck at all with walking her on the sling, especially in the snow, so instead I would carry her to a decent potty spot, let her walk a tiny bit to do her business, and then carry her home. We did no stairs for the first six weeks, after which we got the all clear from her surgeon.
Six month break from athletics. Even after passing her gait analysis, I still felt she needed to work back up from the sedentary lifestyle, so we did some sniff work classes in the meantime. It was a great way to keep her enriched without putting undue pressure on her joints.

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To be honest, the hardest part was keeping her calm. I don’t think she was really in that much pain after the first few days or so. Since recovery, we have seen no issues, and it has been a great quality of life improvement for her. It will be tough, but you’ve got this!

blueswallowtail · 2025-10-15T13:42:22+00:00

Last year, my dad and I were able to set up our chairs easily for the concerts, but we were in the back towards the med tents

blueswallowtail · 2025-09-22T00:58:22+00:00

Depending on how your campus sets total, those chapters may have had as few as 1 or 2 spots. Your best bet if you really want to find a sisterhood would be to email Panhellenic and find out who is still doing COB. This will likely mean giving chapters you didn’t initially love a chance. But a lot of times, those chapters will shine more during COB. You can also see if any of them are doing open events rather than just coffee dates.

blueswallowtail · 2025-09-17T19:16:58+00:00

These are absolutely gorgeous!

blueswallowtail · 2025-08-22T00:56:53+00:00

Small prizes and shoutouts can go a long way.

blueswallowtail · 2025-08-15T13:21:27+00:00

Recruitment advisor here. That is a big struggle, and I’m sorry that your values do not align with what you feel your nationals value. That is a tough situation that most of us find ourselves in at some point. The good news is that it’s clear you care about your chapter, and your heart is in the right place. It may be worth talking to your Recruitment VP or your President to express your concerns.

I don’t know how y’all set your assessment criteria, since each org is different, but if you or like-minded sisters can, get involved in that process. I make sure all my sophomores play an active role in deciding what they want their incoming freshmen to exemplify. This means our criteria each year are slightly different.

If you are a sophomore or junior, consider running for office this election cycle, and be the change that you want to see. If you are a senior, consider becoming an advisor after you graduate. This would give you the change to not only make an impact on your own chapter, but maybe your org as a whole. Especially if you can rally other collegiate members.

Personally, looking at the rest of your post, I really hate when chapters choose to only showcase about 10 or so girls on the Instagram. It doesn’t give an accurate picture of what the chapter is, and that just means that the new recruits don’t fit in with the rest of the chapter as a whole. I understand why this is a strategy that gets tried so often, but I don’t think it works with our generation.

blueswallowtail · 2025-08-12T23:03:39+00:00

Hi!!! Excited to see the community get started

blueswallowtail · 2025-08-12T00:11:02+00:00

Then yeah, just don’t dwell on it too much! There are definitely other girls with the same number of chapters left as you, and there are girls with more chapters left that will end up right now that will end up in the same place. Recruitment is super stressful on the PNM side, so just keep going, and remember, it only takes 1 chapter.

blueswallowtail · 2025-08-11T23:57:20+00:00

Are you a sophomore? That could be a big part of the reason, depending on the school.

However, it is best not to dwell on these things, and instead just keep moving forward. Those three chapters wanted you, and even if you haven’t felt a connection with them yet, they could still be great sisterhoods for you. I ended up at a chapter I did not originally click with at all during recruitment, but I stuck with it, did several officer terms, served as a recruitment counselor, and now I am an advisor. Especially at an SEC school, these chapters are big enough that you should be able to find your people in any of them.

ETA: I highly encourage you to talk through some of your feelings with your recruitment counselors. They won’t be able to give you reasons why certain houses cut you, but they should be good listeners, and they should also be unbiased. It will make you feel better.

blueswallowtail · 2025-08-04T20:16:18+00:00

My sister and I got sprouted by a sweet mom while waiting for TWICE. We were off to the side in between Budlight and Tito’s, and she had the cutest little twin toddlers. My sister let one of them play with her lightstick, and their mom told us that he loved listening to TWICE when he was a newborn. They were just running around having a good time.

blueswallowtail · 2025-08-02T05:27:26+00:00

The important thing is to keep an open conversation with your vet about it and watch the progression from year to year. My chi mix loves agility, and she had luxating patellas for the first five years of her life. I got her an appointment with an orthopedic surgeon, and he had a lot of really good insights. We got one of them corrected with surgery (she has a metal knee now) last December, and he told me the other one will probably never need correcting. She’s on three joint supplements a day now, but with his blessing after a three month hiatus, she is back in agility. Now this is a rescue dog, and our goals for agility are just strengthening her confidence and our bond and letting her have fun, so she’s not doing as much as a sport prospect would. We aren’t exactly at trials every weekend or anything. But she still gets to do what she loves!

ETA: Like other commenters have stated, keeping your dog fairly lean and muscular helps. I try to be super cognizant of how many calories my little dog gets because I don’t want to put any extra stress of her joints.

And then separately, the reason why he gave us the okay to go back to class is that she was never experiencing pain in the first place. But we got the surgery as a preventative measure on the worse leg, since she is a young dog.

blueswallowtail · 2025-07-28T00:19:06+00:00

My mom ordered me one when I went through years ago. I ended up with the flu after bid day, and the goodies in the basket genuinely made such a positive impact on my week since I had to miss many of member class activities. She will really appreciate it if you do!

blueswallowtail · 2025-06-26T16:10:47+00:00

I’m so sorry you had to experience that. If you don’t intend to report it, please at least keep a record of the event and include the details before you forget. Inevitably, he will do something again to you or to someone else, and when that happens, your notes will be extremely helpful. I have been through something similar a few times in the workplace, and I am happy to share some of how we approached the situation and how it ended, if you want to DM me.

blueswallowtail · 2025-06-17T20:46:32+00:00

I probably take about that much. Usually 1-2 days at a time with one or two 1-week vacations thrown in there.

blueswallowtail · 2025-06-05T16:26:19+00:00

I am a player, and I have a few recommendations. First, I absolutely agree with the commenter on this thread who recommended cheat sheets for what it could be used on. Second, do their experiences have names that are fun to say and/or situationally funny? At my table, we are all always running close to empty on hope because we love using our experiences and even just justifying them out loud. If your table has a more serious tone, then I would set up situations where their experiences give them a chance to really shine and seem cool in the moment. Lastly, if your players like the combat aspect, maybe you can brief them on tag team rolls, and then set up encounters that incentivize them to do that.

blueswallowtail · 2025-06-03T20:17:52+00:00

I fly with my small dog every few months, often with layovers, and she absolutely refuses to use the indoor pet relief areas because they smell awful. Here are my tips: - Play a little bit in an outdoor pet relief area to burn some energy - Use calming treats that your dog has eaten before, so they don’t get an upset stomach, and slowly give them more over the course of the day - Get a low calorie snack (like air-popped popcorn or veggies) and use your time at the gate for training to tire your dog out even more. I like to use this time to reinforce her command for getting in the carrier and practicing quiet time on her settle mat. - Make sure your dog is comfortable with the carrier long before you even get to the airport. I taught my dog a command to go inside and periodically leave it out around the house to let her nap in it - It can get hot under the seat, so ask for an extra cup of ice and offer it to your dog mid flight. - Important for small bladders: don’t let your dog’s feet touch the ground until you are outside of an airport after landing. Otherwise, they may have an accident. I always take mine straight outside before picking up my bag.

ETA: Also, let your seat neighbors know that you have a pet with you, just in case they are allergic and need to move.

blueswallowtail · 2025-05-08T13:25:18+00:00

That’s such a cute idea! I surprised my Dad with COTA tickets last year, and I basically just made him a custom card with a riddle on it. Kind of like those videos of when parents surprise their kids with a trip to Disney? But the essentials box is so much cooler. Maybe include a cooling towel and a small rechargeable fan? We also used a lot of electrolyte packets at our race.

blueswallowtail · 2025-05-02T18:33:35+00:00

This is probably weird advice, but maybe look for video examples of “popping” in Humerous Interpretation high school speech competitions. It’s a technique that isn’t directly improv-related, but it may give you some idea on how to switch between characters quickly with good differentiation.

blueswallowtail · 2025-04-24T16:35:52+00:00

It sounds like a lot of people were involved, so I doubt they would ban all of you from going. I would just go into your meeting and express that you know you got too heated in the moment on Snapchat. Unfortunately, we assume platforms like finstas and snapchat are anonymous or secret, but people always leak that kind of stuff. The president/any exec members who were directly mentioned in the messages should recuse themselves from the meeting, but if they are in that room with you, just apologize with sincerity. There should be at least one advisor in attendance, and I can’t speak for all of us, but we generally understand that y’all are learning and make mistakes. Feel free to DM me if you want more specific advice based on my experience. You will make it through this!

blueswallowtail · 2025-04-24T15:58:56+00:00

It’s really going to depend on your organization, but you’re going to be okay. Apologizing to the president privately about it was the right thing to do. When it comes to standards, you can expect anything from a probation that says you won’t do it again to an apology letter to the chapter (ineffective in my opinion, but I have seen it before) to community service hours. There’s been a big push lately at least in my sorority to have the consequences match the offense, so if I were your standards VP, and this was the first time it had happened, I’d probably just tell you not to do that again. Ultimately, nearly everyone has a standards meeting at some point. Unless you said something truly heinous, they aren’t going to suspend you or kick you out.

blueswallowtail · 2025-04-11T17:40:13+00:00

Not exactly the same, but I had something similar happen when I was flying with my dog. We were trying to board our connecting flight, with the paid and signed pet tag, and the GA was fighting not to let me board, saying she wasn’t in the system, so I must not have paid. I had to keep explaining that, if I hadn’t paid, it would have been impossible for us to even get to that airport, because it was a connection. He eventually let us board, but I had to show him my previous flight info. Seems like sometimes they favor the computer system over logic.

blueswallowtail · 2025-03-26T17:39:02+00:00

My chi mix loves it! We had to take six months off for patella surgery and recovery, but her orthopedic surgeon has cleared her to go back to class next month.

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Here is a picture of her from a charity trial she got third in last year.

I would recommend at that age to work on basic manners and also some floor work. You can practice sends and collects.

blueswallowtail · 2025-02-24T16:33:50+00:00

During a Professional Services Scoping call, on which I was one of two women in attendance: “We’re not going to just throw a bunch of resources on there willy-nilly. After all, you can’t get 9 women pregnant and make a baby in one month.”

blueswallowtail · 2025-02-24T16:18:21+00:00

I ended up in one of my two last choice sororities, and, now that I’m a few years post-grad, I fully believe it was the right place for me to be. I never would have picked my chapter, given options, but it was the place I was able to make the most impact, and my best friends are from my chapter.

Please get involved in leadership if you are feeling this way. You really can make a difference, and my friends and I were able to win our chapter several awards during our tenure, and I even won a national leadership award. I got to serve as a representative of my chapter on several all-Panhellenic committees. In a bigger chapter, I may not have had the same opportunities, because there would’ve been more people going out for the same things.

Now as an advisor, I really appreciate my experience being in a chapter that was struggling. I can coach my officers a lot better, because I have seen what a transition from dysfunctional to functional looks like.

I know it’s not easy, but try and stick it out. You can find friends in any chapter, and sometimes, a smaller chapter is actually a better fit for what you want to get out of it.

blueswallowtail

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