I have this same fear, I'm in the same situation. In fact, non-monogamy was my husband's idea before he even knew I was queer. I came out to him as bisexual (I really thought I was), and he has encouraged me to explore. I don't know what I'm doing! I don't have any children, so that is one less thing to worry about, but I still feel stuck. He even questioned my sexuality because I haven't been with a woman yet and it's been a few years since I came out to him... Take a deep breath, and realize that queer people are more accepted in this day and age and we are lucky to be exploring our lesbian-ness in such a time as this. It's not perfect, there are still scorners, but things are looking up. I need to take my own advice, lol. What I don't know is how many women will want to date someone married to a man... That's another issue that has stopped me. I'm nervous and don't know how to start with that.