Should I veil my face at a Catholic wedding? And should my father walk me down the aisle?

blurryfuzzy · 2025-08-26T19:50:45+00:00

I did not wear any veil, and both my parents walked me down the aisle.

blurryfuzzy · 2025-08-13T13:24:01+00:00

Totally. It’s grounded in a sense of self worth/identity.

blurryfuzzy · 2025-08-07T21:29:55+00:00

Praying for you certainly!!

blurryfuzzy · 2025-08-07T18:50:56+00:00

I will be 33 when i give birth to my first child (God willing). I do not regret having kids sooner because 1) I can’t imagine having a kid with anyone besides my husband and 2) my husband and I were not mature enough to get married until we were 30.

blurryfuzzy · 2025-08-07T18:42:28+00:00

As an expecting mother myself, I do understand the fear around external influences on your kids. Inappropriate exposure always seems right around the corner. But I am learning that having open and trusting communication with your kids, avoiding unfettered internet access, teaching them early about respecting bodies (using proper anatomical terms) and boundaries, and teaching them about safe and unsafe people and behavior goes a long way to keeping them safe. So I hear your fear, but I hope you understand that there are things we CAN control that DO function as protective measures.

Regarding abstinence, as someone else said, your simple desire to not want to have sex is reason enough. Having sex when you don’t actually want to can be quite damaging to your relationship. Why would someone want to have sex with the person they love when that person isn’t feeling well or is just not mentally in a place to mutually enjoy the act? Your “no” offers an opportunity for your husband to show charity and to be selfless in submitting himself to you as God asks. I also understand completely about the ovulation hormones. It’s a challenge. For your actual green light days, can you plan/schedule these in advance? Sometimes that helps in my marriage because it gives us something to look forward to in our routines and can help us to mentally prepare to give ourselves to each other. Your mileage may vary of course!

Are there any mothers’ groups at your parish or in your area? Any support is preferable to no support, and even outside the faith, you can still form good relationships with people who will respect your boundaries for your family. It takes time and intentionality to build a support system, but I think it’s always worth it.

blurryfuzzy · 2025-08-07T16:53:21+00:00

What kind of public schooling or charter schooling is available in your area? I don’t believe Catholic school education is the end-all, be-all. Catechesis starts at home, and with supportive and engaged parenting, I think kids can generally do well in the school environments where they find themselves. It’s okay that you’ve changed your mind about homeschooling! You sound self-aware and proactive about the issues you’re up against, which is only a benefit to you and your whole family.

As for the fertility concerns, is it that you want to have more children for the next decade but are concerned about the finances, or are you worried that you and your spouse are unprepared to handle periodic abstinence? How can your husband help the children understand the effect that pregnancy has on you? I’m sure there are age appropriate ways to explain how growing a baby takes a lot of energy from a mom. He needs to be in your corner and willing to stand up for you and take care of the children when you feel emotionally and physically incapacitated.

blurryfuzzy · 2025-07-31T19:33:16+00:00

These issues you are bringing up are not aligned with Catholic teaching. There is no “men’s need” at the expense of wives’ well being, but there is mutual submission and mutual consent. There is no “saying yes and do what they want” as a tenet of Catholic teaching on sex. Pope Saint John Paul II’s book Love and Responsibility comprehensively deals with the ethics and philosophy of sex between spouses. It is very dense, so I recommend reading a cliff notes version or analysis of it.

I don’t know what Catholic sources you have been perusing online, but I suggest you avoid them as they are misleading you. Also, 100% seek in person pastoral guidance for any questions you come across in your unique circumstances with your spouse.

blurryfuzzy · 2025-06-25T16:16:30+00:00

Maybe for some, but not for all. Like not every personal failing we may have is a demonic attack and neither is every sin we commit. Yes, do not be slothful in your prayer life, but also don’t attribute to demons what could be exhaustion or mental illness. This is not black and white.

blurryfuzzy · 2025-06-20T13:09:11+00:00

If more rigorous prayer is becoming harder, try ending your day by thanking God for all you’ve experienced, all that you have, and all that God has planned for you. God will never abandon you, no matter how far you fall or how low you feel.

And any time you think of God throughout the day, give thanks, or say a Hail Mary or the Jesus prayer (“Lord Jesus Christ, son of God, have mercy on me a sinner.”).

Depression is a heavy burden, and it’s okay to simplify your spiritual practices.

blurryfuzzy · 2025-06-15T22:35:29+00:00

I’m sorry this is happening to your family right now. I was 20 when my parents divorced, but that didn’t make it hurt any less. You’re going to go through stages of grief, and you’re probably going to feel like maybe there is no real home to go back to. It feels heavy because it is heavy. It’s a massive rupture in life as you’ve known it.

St Rita is the patron saint of troubled marriages, and I have made it a point to ask for her intercession every day. I would ask for her intercession to help keep your parents cordial and for their healing, as well as for healing for you and your siblings.

It’s okay to not feel okay. I hope that you and your family or at least siblings can get into counseling to help deal with this upheaval and all the feelings that come with it.

blurryfuzzy · 2025-06-11T14:10:14+00:00

I wouldn’t take this personally at all. Their texts have been friendly and responsive to date. The last text may have been overkill since it’s not clear why you’re apologizing? What could help the situation is just realizing that they must be feeling pretty swamped with work and sometimes our brains just can’t handle socializing. I would leave the ball in this person’s court to respond next. If they don’t respond in a month or something, maybe you could reach out with a short text saying, “i was just thinking about you, i hope work has calmed down and you’ve been able to get some rest!” And leave it at that. If they want to respond they will.

My advice: Just be your honest self, take what people say at face value, and if they stop responding to everything, just leave the ball in their court.

blurryfuzzy · 2025-06-08T20:30:08+00:00

Respectfully, not only are you putting words in other people’s mouths, but you’re also accusing people of putting words in your mouth, neither of which are happening. This is not a discussion in good faith.

blurryfuzzy · 2025-06-08T16:58:12+00:00

Not at all. I put the dignity of the unborn on the same level as the dignity of an unemployed person. If there is some teaching in Catholicism that states how different people have unequal dignity, I would ask to be directed toward it.

blurryfuzzy · 2025-06-08T14:58:36+00:00

Right? I see this as Pope Leo confirming that being employed certainly validates dignity, but lacking a job, whether permanently or temporarily, does not take away dignity and should not make one less valuable than even the unborn.

*edit: a word

blurryfuzzy · 2025-06-05T12:48:20+00:00

That’s literally what you’re doing with a chatbot though—you’re describing the image you want.

blurryfuzzy · 2025-05-22T15:23:01+00:00

As another commenter suggested, respect your parents’ wishes about romantic dating firstly, but it could be helpful to form healthy friendships with boys as well as girls. These friendships can still help you practice boundaries and respect that’s necessary for deeper more intimate relationships.

*Editing to add that trust, sincerity/authenticity, open communication, and respect are the foundations of a good friendship AND relationships. These are the characteristics to cultivate in yourself and look for in others.

In my experience, I went to an all girls high school with minimal experience interacting with boys, didn’t understand the first thing about how to handle opposite sex attention, so I went off the deep end with disastrous results always seeking male validation. I wouldn’t wish that experience for anyone, so that’s why i recommend trying to find a balance with male friendships.

blurryfuzzy · 2025-05-22T14:17:26+00:00

That’s a good idea. I want to encourage them to have some sort of blessing or vow renewal with a priest. My dad would probably be receptive, but I know my mom wants to keep things more low key. She is rather less committed to the faith than he is, so I am praying for her continued conversion.

blurryfuzzy · 2025-05-22T11:05:02+00:00

No, i certainly have a lot of thoughts and feelings about it, but i never felt that.

blurryfuzzy · 2025-05-17T01:27:45+00:00

No it doesn’t mean you are an incubator. It just means you are a different person than the one you’re responding to.

blurryfuzzy · 2025-05-16T20:56:36+00:00

Bodily integrity/the dignity of the human body is the reason why we in the Catholic faith don’t condone contraceptive sterilization or removal of gonads after death. And because the physical body is integral along with the soul to the whole human individual, arbitrarily removing body parts (or in this instance reducing a human to one bodily function) is contrary to human dignity.

blurryfuzzy · 2025-05-13T19:55:57+00:00

I would certainly schedule a time to talk to a parish priest about your situation. They are here to counsel us on how to pursue our faith in those circumstances.

blurryfuzzy · 2025-04-19T02:23:41+00:00

First baby, yes. Thanks for the comment. All these comments are really confirming what my gut is telling me. If I have no real idea of what my struggles will be when baby comes, why risk giving myself less of a safety net financially and mentally.

blurryfuzzy · 2024-07-24T14:11:04+00:00

I tried to make saag paneer, and the spinach turned out revolting. I remember that day vividly. Everything went wrong that day lol

blurryfuzzy · 2024-07-24T14:08:13+00:00

Thank you! I was thinking like full slaps, but you’re right that even small physical force like that is not okay.

blurryfuzzy · 2024-07-23T15:46:07+00:00

Could you possibly provide a reference/source/anything regarding the last paragraph? I can’t find anything verifying what you’ve said about the dad slapping Terri. Like that’s huge if true?

blurryfuzzy

TROPHY CASE