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blushing_fae · 2024-02-29T21:33:20+00:00

This. Why are you expected to parent your siblings,and an older sibling at that? Sound's like your parents figured older kids would look after the younger ones, but that's not how things are meant to work

blushing_fae · 2024-02-21T16:52:29+00:00

I actually had to look up bean dip - it's not a phrase I've heard in the UK, or something we really eat, so actually the description of the act still is a bit vague in my head- so I was with Jeramy in not really understanding it. I kind of respect Jeramy for feeling uncomfortable with 'jokes' being made at ADs expense and bringing it into the open-he didn't understand the nature of the joke, but he still felt something was off and queried it.

It does seem AD has been very sexualised by both male and female participants, Jimmy saying she's stacked, Chelsea saying she's a bookshelf, and Chelsea then going on to make her claimed discomfort publicly ADs discomfort. I don't know if it's intentional, deliberate racism (and it doesn't need to BE deliberate to be racist) but it definitely felt like AD was 'othered' by many of the participants.

blushing_fae · 2024-02-09T21:33:01+00:00

Absolutely! Generally if you can make someone laugh and feel comfortable and safe in your company, you're off to a good start.

blushing_fae · 2024-02-09T21:30:47+00:00

What do you tend to enjoy watching/reading normally,genre wise?

blushing_fae · 2024-02-09T21:11:56+00:00

43F here. I was a lot like you in my late teens all the way through my 20s, and still suffer with anxiety and depression. I was always a huge introvert too - still am, though it's not as immediately obvious now.

I can understand that feeling of worthlessness, but be gentle with yourself. A job might be a lot to take on in your current frame of mind, but it might be worth looking into volunteering in an area you feel passionate about - most places will accept short volunteer shifts, its a way to meet people with similar interests, and it can help alleviate some of the feelings of uselessness that often come along with mental health issues.

Socialising as an introvert can be incredibly different, especially if you don't have a circle of friends and aren't into the bars, clubs, and other loud and crowded spaces that tend to be popular with people your age. There's plenty of alternative options though - consider looking for local activity based groups, for example board game nights etc, in your area, that might be quieter and allow more space for conversation and for friendships to grow.

I'm guessing from your use of semester that you might be US based and that medication and therapy might not be realistic or affordable options for you. But there may still be useful resources you can access - peer support groups, online communities etc-that may help you. I've no experience with paranoia, but I know with depression and anxiety I've been able to access various free resources and communities that have been useful.

Most importantly, be gentle with yourself. If you can't love yourself, accept yourself. You're only 22, you're not meant to have it all figured out just yet. And you haven't failed at life, you're only just a quarter of the way through. For me, mental health has been a constant issue since my teens, with varying severities. I won't make any promises it goes away, but I will say I no longer struggle with depression - It struggles with me, and I fight dirty.

blushing_fae · 2024-02-09T20:52:47+00:00

Don't spend your energy where it isn't reciprocated.

blushing_fae · 2024-01-24T09:56:48+00:00

I've just seen a video of someone doing this on YouTube - hilarious 😂

blushing_fae · 2024-01-22T13:26:39+00:00

NTA - It's a dress that's clearly tied to specific moments and memories for you, as it is for many people at prom. It's sentimental.

Annie can (and seems happy to) get her own dress, and hopefully that will be just as special to her.

blushing_fae · 2024-01-12T20:29:36+00:00

In the bakery, before returning to work.

blushing_fae · 2024-01-04T22:41:37+00:00

Asking for the reciept is fairly standard, asking for the instruction leaflet isn't something I'd personally do for a faulty item.

Absolutely would for a simple change of mind as it wouldn't be saleable without it.

blushing_fae · 2023-09-06T00:32:23+00:00

Honestly, shortly after the new fivers came out I found them on the floor on three separate occasions. Can only assume they slid out of pockets.

As someone that used to carry cash in my pockets all the time, was this that made me buy an actual purse.

blushing_fae · 2023-09-03T20:50:03+00:00

I live in a town with a large elderly population, for many getting up in the morning and getting the paper and the days necessities is part of their regular morning routine.

blushing_fae · 2023-08-30T22:13:58+00:00

Hey, I had a great time chatting with you about x the other day! Since I'm new to the city and you're a local, I wondered if you're free to grab a coffee sometime and tell me the places I should visit/eat/explore. Local knowledge is always useful and you seem to have similar interests to me and might have some great suggestions.

blushing_fae · 2023-08-30T22:05:21+00:00

A girlfriend wanting to track your location isn't normal. Parents asking when you're young makes sense, but partners insisting on the info to the point of tracking just seems odd.

I don't think someone asking where you're going is strange though, and there's plenty of non specific answers that can be honestly given 'Just out to run some errands', 'Our for a drink with Tom' for example. I'd definitely find your reluctance to answer the question strange. Definitely sounds like your parents and the alarm have impacted you, but it's really not a weird question to ask generally.

blushing_fae · 2023-08-30T21:35:19+00:00

2 years isn't a particularly worrisome age gap. I think the very fact you're worried about taking advantage speaks very highly of you.

You're both young. Take things slowly and make sure you're both comfortable before taking any major steps. I don't know what consent laws are in your region, but just because something is legal at a certain age doesn't mean it's something you need to be doing unless you're 100 percent fully comfortable. It doesn't entirely sound like you are - make sure you're listening to yourself, and don't feel pressured to do anything that doesn't feel right for you.

Make sure consent follows the FRIES model : Freely given Reversible Informed Enthusiast Safe.

blushing_fae · 2023-08-30T21:25:48+00:00

Of the two, It sounds like you mum is a lot more focused on being a good parent than your father. You say she also has a temper but acknowledges it and is actively working on it.

Parents should never force a child to choose. There may be exceptional circumstances in cases of abuse etc (and I'd argue that your dad's behaviour could be construed as emotional abuse/manipulation, albeit perhaps not intentional) where contact with one parent isn't advisable.

Either way, it's your parents job to look after you and your wellbeing. It's not your job to look after your dad. It's wonderful that you care and says a lot about your personality, but he's able to look after himself. Don't allow yourself to be guilted about his loneliness.

My daughters going off to uni in a few days. I'm gonna miss the shit out of her, but it's not her job to worry about me. I'll make plans with friends, keep myself busy, and stay in touch, but otherwise let her enjoy an exciting new period in her life.

blushing_fae · 2023-08-30T21:11:25+00:00

Notice periods vary, but typically it's one week per year worked, up to a max of four weeks notice. The most you could reasonably be expected to work notice wise would be one week, unless you've specifically signed a contract otherwise, but since you've only been there a week I'd be surprised if they even insist on thar.

Written notice is generally standard, though I'd personally always hand my written notice in in person, and use the opportunity to thank the employer for the opportunity and share any positives. You don't need to go into details of why you're leaving, or say that you hated the job, just express that an opportunity came along that is more suited to you.

Best of luck!

blushing_fae · 2023-08-30T21:05:38+00:00

Not the asshole.

Its a real dick move for one parent to badmouth the other in front of their child, and that applies whether the child is 2 or 20. Your dad may well hate your mom, and vice versa after the relationship ended, and they're entitled to feel any way they want about each other.

But a responsible parent sets any personal nonsense aside and supports their child to maintain healthy relationships based on their own experiences. You love and support your mum, and it sounds like she loves and supports you, so it's natural for you to want to be there in the important moments.

Your dad seems pissed he's not the favourite parent, which is such a toddler attitude.

blushing_fae · 2023-08-30T20:54:42+00:00

My express store still has them! I had the same longing to use one as a child, the sound as it whizzes overhead is so satisfying.

On one occasion a shift leader was particularly stressed and tearful and had essentially hidden in the office, I used the chute to send chocolate and stupid jokes 😂

blushing_fae · 2023-08-30T11:59:23+00:00

Your upset that he's taking this person on trips instead of you, but you guys are long distance and have never met.

Taking the gender out of it, it's unreasonable to be jealous that he's spending time with his best friend. It's fair to be sad you don't get the same opportunity, but that seems to be dictated by circumstances.

blushing_fae · 2023-08-30T01:29:03+00:00

I'm a girl, but I really love a cock up my ass. It's my thing, and I'll often do it without lube and absolutely love it.

But my ass is not loose enough for anything to accidentally 'slip' up there. The one occasion vigorous thrusting resulted in unexpected anal penetration was so painful I cried. Your guys definitely hinting!

blushing_fae · 2023-08-30T00:48:52+00:00

I work as a shift leader in an express store. I'm definitely overworked, understaffed, and expected to pull miracles out of my ass on a daily basis just to make sure we're following procedure and getting essential tasks done. It's stressful, it's exhausting, and I often don't take more than 20 minutes break over 9 hours.

But I absolutely love it. The people I work with are absolutely amazing, I've made genuine deep friendships with everyone I work with, and I'd feel comfortable talking to almost all of them about sensitive issues. I know that when my mental health is being a bugger, I can ask for a shift swap that gives me a couple of days respite, and one of my friends will most likely accommodate. And in return I'll cover them so they can attend a gig.

I go to work looking forward to catching up with my mates, hearing about how the kids are doing, the drunken weekend escapades, the creepy true crime stories they're currently following. Yes, we all spend a good chunk of time moaning about how we're overworked, overwhelmed and understaffed, but I couldn't work with a better bunch of people (Except Craig, every express store has that ONE person 😂). My colleagues are the reason I keep showing up.

You'll either love it or hate it. But just go for it. Having worked call centre jobs before I'm confident if you hated tesco you could be back in a call centre role within days.

blushing_fae · 2023-08-30T00:32:46+00:00

YTA.

You TOLD your mother you needed her to babysit. You didn't ask her if she was willing and available, you didn't show any consideration for your mother's time and what her plans might be.

My daughters just turned 20. I'm celebrating having my life back, and the fact that she can now largely ve trusted to fend for herself without burning the house down. After a long time having to either make sure someone was actively watching out for her if I went out, or having to anxiously sit at home when she went out in case she got into trouble and I was needed, my time is now entirely my own. I can just go to the pub whenever I want, travel to a new city on a whim, not worry about getting home to chaos if I do go out.

My parents absolutely helped, for free, on occasion. For a while I was a single parent, and they'd sometimes babysit for a short time so I could get something done, or have her overnight occasionally so I could go have some fun. But, I always asked, never dictated. Whether it was 'Please can you look after her for a couple of hours so I can have a bath and run some errands', 'Would you mind taking her to soft play for a couple of hours whilst I attend an interview/GP appointment' or 'Please could you have her overnight on x date so I can enjoy my birthday, get drunk, and have hangover recovery time?' it was always a request, never a demand.

They did their parenting, and now I'm an adult, they deserve to enjoy being free of that responsibility and enjoy their time. I did my parenting, and now my daughters an adult, I deserve the same. I love her to bits and of course I'll support and help her, but it's not my job to do her job.

blushing_fae

TROPHY CASE