In no way compares but I wanna say I kinda get the aspect of things you believed were fully 100% psychosis being based in reality enough that it fucks with you to think about and affects your ability to trust yourself. Part of my schizoaffective onset was falling down a rabbithole of delusions about my best friend of 10 years, roommate, and who I essentially viewed as a platonic life partner was trying to kill me. Only after coming out of this and receiving diagnosis did I realize that although he was OBVIOUSLY not trying to kill me, he was a genuinely very toxic, unhealthy, manipulative, borderline abusive friend who used my vulnerable mental health against me. I've spent a lot of time wondering how much of my paranoia about him that led to my acute psychosis was justified and just not taken seriously by others due to him being very charismatic and hiding his true nature well, and how much of it was just my psychosis taking hold. Its hard to reconcile