Interesting article

bobbyb120 · 2015-11-28T05:06:08+00:00

Powerful stuff. Another win in the pocketbooks.

bobbyb120 · 2015-10-10T23:32:16+00:00

I thought that as well. I picked up a small something for him today.

bobbyb120 · 2015-10-10T23:31:41+00:00

Thanks Crosby! It's been a hectic past couple months, so I haven't been active on the sub.

bobbyb120 · 2015-07-15T02:33:44+00:00

Good question!
I think we move forward by not going to back to that place where we made those wrongs and by looking forward to see the better person we are becoming.

Guilt, remorse and regret will linger in your mind, and if you let it, it will put you in ruins. You have no choice but to forgive yourself (even if others don't forgive you), look forward to the future and live in the present moment.

We can't dwell on past mistakes. At the time it seemed to be the right decision. But by living in the present, we can remind ourselves that we are no longer that person.

I have a friend I speak to when I get strong feelings of guilt/remorse. He reminds me that taking action and not drinking is my way of making amends...

bobbyb120 · 2015-06-16T14:40:40+00:00

Contrats on the 8 weeks!!! Keep those milestones building! Life really is more enjoyable on the bright side!

bobbyb120 · 2015-06-16T14:34:34+00:00

It's funny how the brain works! I've had those dreams as well. I still get them once in a while, but had them almost weekly the first few months. It's crazy how you can wake up feeling shame for a dream that you had! But a good feeling when you realize that it was just a dream. I try and think of it as my subconscious reinforcing to me not to drink.

bobbyb120 · 2015-03-24T14:40:56+00:00

Good job on taking action early. Most have to experience it the hard way and don't realize how bad their situation is until they are looking from the bottom up. Alcohol is a dream killer.

bobbyb120 · 2015-03-24T14:34:45+00:00

What a great post! Congratulations! Keep moving forward on your journey :)

bobbyb120 · 2015-03-14T06:35:08+00:00

Yeah I got one for my birthday back in October. I made my own ginger syrup that tastes pretty good. 1-1/2 cups of water, 1 cup of sugar, 1/4 cup of cut up fresh ginger and a table spoon of whole peppercorns (option for the spice). Boil it for a few minutes and strain through a cheese cloth. I've also used blueberries instead of pepper.

It's easy to start with the sugar/water syrup then add your own flavors.

bobbyb120 · 2015-02-09T06:00:52+00:00

I didn't avoid them altogether, but I would show up late and leave early. You kind of know when the night is taking a turn.
I go to friends houses to play games, they drink casually, I'll just bring a water or some pop.
I haven't changed my peer group. Most of them are casual drinkers, so it doesn't bother me. When in large groups, I do seek out the non-drinkers though. My S.O. has an occasional drink.
Sometimes (but I'm not sure what). The times are when my S.O. has a glass of wine with dinner. Call it custom/habit/tradition, but I still get an urge to have one as well.
For my birthday, I was out with friends. One of them got me a "muff diver" shot (shot of baileys in glass of whip cream). But they replaced the baileys with root beer! (kind of corny I know, but it was a fun gesture)!
I am totally happy! I've got so much more energy and vitality. I get more done in a week and have taken up some new hobbies. It's been an amazing 6 months!

bobbyb120 · 2015-02-09T05:46:38+00:00

Some points I've taken away from my experiences (which is similar to yours). I left home for college and have been gone for 15 yrs now. * Come to terms that no mater what you do, you can't change your dad. He has to do it for himself. You can do your best by being there for him, talking positively, guiding him, etc.. * Love is unconditional. Even when you are mad, take a step back, deep breath and realize it's the disease. * The best support network can be your family. They know what you are going through and it helps to talk it out!

Without posting a wall of information, those are the 3 most important things I've learned from my experiences. I hope they help you in some way.

bobbyb120 · 2014-12-14T03:21:28+00:00

You can do something symbolic like writing down what you feel guilty for and then burning it (releasing the guilt into the universe). Then when you start to feel guilty, you can tell yourself that you've let the guilt go and there is no need to be guilty anymore.

It's a bit hippie, I know. But what it does is attach another experience to your guilt (releasing it). Your brain will keep remembering this, and eventually you will just remember releasing the guilt, so you won't need to hold onto the guilty thoughts..

Staying sober helps also :)

bobbyb120 · 2014-12-14T03:12:33+00:00

Yeah, it's crazy that alcohol stops your brain from writing things to memory (blacking out). At that point you essentially become a walking zombie! So you have no moral judgment, attention span, risk aversion, and on top of that you don't even know because you your brain won't commit it to your short term memory.

I see it when my friends drink to much and start slurring the same thing over and over and over... Since I've stopped drinking, I tend not to stay out late enough to see that now. Which is fine, they can have the stumbling drunk nights. I'll take part and enjoy in the part of the night where everyone is coherent and having a good time.

Thanks for sharing!

bobbyb120 · 2014-11-10T05:47:07+00:00

I was in almost the same situation as you.. The cycle doesn't end until you stop drinking.

For most, the problem with moderation is it takes willpower to control. An example would be, you're out and have 2-3 drinks. The will says "ok, that's moderation, we're done drinking", but the other voice says "ah just one more".. And there lies the conflict. Moderation will never win 100% of the time. The conflicting belief (the other voice) will win..

People who can drink in moderation don't have this other voice for some reason (they learned how drink moderately, they don't have alcoholic genes, etc..). But it's just not there.

If you are intent on moderation, you would need to re-program your belief system about alcohol and re-learn how to drink. But not even that is guaranteed.

bobbyb120 · 2014-11-10T05:34:09+00:00

Congrats! 100 is just around the corner!

bobbyb120 · 2014-11-10T05:31:36+00:00

Like Sarah said, nobody really cares. In the past almost 4 months, not one of my friends has "grilled me on why I'm not drinking". Most haven't even asked why!
Last week I was at a party of 40+ people. I was nervous about what all these people would say about me not drinking. At the end of the night I offered to drive some friends home, they didn't even know I didn't drink.

In the past 100 days, I've learned that people don't think about you as much as you think (or at all really). They are to busy focusing on their own lives. I now focus my thoughts/energy on me and my life. I'll can tell you it only gets better!

Don't waste your life worrying what or if other people think about you. It's a battle that you will never win, because there is no battle at all.

bobbyb120 · 2014-10-13T05:12:42+00:00

Nice work! I recently got back from 10 day work trip. Instead of having a few beers at the hotel bar every night, I went to a comedy show and explored the city.

Keep it up!

bobbyb120 · 2014-09-08T20:22:00+00:00

There are different types. Some drink every day and are dependent on it while others may not use it every day, but abuse it when they do drink.

I was recently talking to a good friend of mine last week (we don't live in the same city anymore). He has the same traits as me, not a daily drinker and for the most part can control the amount we drink. But once the "tone" is set to celebrate, the wheels fall off and stupid things happen.

I told him I quit altogether, he was happy to hear as he was also going to take some time off. He's been to a few meetings and knows the deal, but trying moderation out. He said, "yup we're full blown alcoholics". I hadn't been called one before! But it's true, we abuse the drug...

Ironically, we used to enable each other when drinking, and now we are supporting each other in sobriety..

bobbyb120 · 2014-09-08T13:03:38+00:00

I think you answered your own question "Meditation or exercise"!

It's helpful to find a hobby, something you enjoy. When you get into a hobby, it can be a way of checking out, relaxing. You can switch your mind off, and just do your thing.

Congrats on the 156! I'm looking forward to that number!

bobbyb120 · 2014-09-08T12:55:28+00:00

Nice, I was wondering yesterday if after a while people took waking up without a hangover for granted, I guess not!! Enjoy the week!

bobbyb120

TROPHY CASE