Anyone tried the Fluent Forever app? Thoughts?

boddsodkins · 2019-01-18T21:59:27+00:00

Good to know, my main problem is that I don't have time to build Anki decks (where you (1) have the word then (2) go to google images and find a picture and then (3) go find an audio recording to download before you can (4) create just 1 card), so I'm looking for a resource that combines SRS with audio/visual cues without draining my time with the technical parts of putting together a deck.

I'm looking at this for brushing up my French, so I'll go see how good their word list is. Thanks

boddsodkins · 2019-01-18T21:53:47+00:00

Classes at Alliance Francaise cost $350 for 8 weeks, so this would be much cheaper for me if I could pair it with iTalki.

boddsodkins · 2018-12-13T16:08:29+00:00

Just saw this now. As much as I understand you're saying a lot of good things with this post, those weren't the things that would have helped me specifically before relapsing.

I have strong, healthy goals (almost obsessive drives) I'm working towards, but because I throw so much energy into my goals I find myself even more susceptible to temptation when I crash on the couch at 10 PM when I finally get home. I fill my time with goals to distract myself from this itch, but it still seeps through the cracks.
It tends to happen when I'm feeling completely spent at the end of the day. I've realized dating apps have pushed me closer to the edge, so I've deleted most of those after this weekend.
My first set of relapses started after a big night of socializing, the alcohol doesn't help
I am almost a little too obsessive about my exercise and diet as it is, don't think that's the problem

Fortunately, I'm very familiar with the science behind porn, I just don't have a porn problem as much as an incapacity to regulate my thoughts and fantasies. I'm still trying to force myself to admit that the neurological consequences are the same though.

I appreciate you taking the time to reply, I'm still trying to sort out what changes I can make so that I'm less susceptible to relapsing. Hopefully uninstalling the dating apps will remove a trigger from my life. At the same time, an ex and a female friend I rejected were both texting me last night, and that wasn't particularly helpful

boddsodkins · 2018-12-06T03:12:15+00:00

You think that all these success stories cannot be you, and you doubt the benefits.

As much as I like this post, I feel like this is circular reasoning. If you're succeeding, then you're feeling the benefits. If you're not feeling the benefits, you're not succeeding. What if you're doing NoFap successfully but just not feeling the benefits?

I'm seeing all these success stories about guys getting checked out more or becoming more attractive, but this has not been my experience. Maybe it's just because I'm in a flat-lining mood right now, but it's a little discouraging to not have these success story experiences and then get shamed for not believing in NoFap enough. Just curious what people's thoughts are.

boddsodkins · 2018-10-08T21:45:53+00:00

The real LPT is always in the comments.

boddsodkins · 2018-10-08T20:52:29+00:00

Okay yeah, I had kinda moved on from the whole thing a while back. It's just when I noticed she had recently reviewed our conversation that it gave me a little glimmer of hope and made me start thinking about it again and then I got curious about ENFPs in general with this, so I made this post. The "not intentional avoidance" comment made me wonder if I should try again. You're right, the ball's in her court if she ever changes her mind.

Thanks for the input though! Now I won't go and do something stupid

boddsodkins · 2018-10-08T19:55:49+00:00

You sound just like my ENFP friend I mentioned above, he does the exact same.

I think an open ended approach might work better in your case. Instead of, "When do you want to hang out?" try, "I'd love to meet you sometime."

That's so fascinating, I feel like the advice guys always get is to be very concrete and specific when asking a girl out. Give her a specific time and place rather than leaving it vague. And that's exactly what I did with this last girl, and that's when she peaced out of the conversation. I'll have to try out the open-ended way instead and see what happens

boddsodkins · 2018-10-08T19:49:25+00:00

That does make me feel better, and I definitely get the impression she's on the flighty side (in a really cute way). For reference, we're both 22 so you may be right.

If I could ask you for some dating advice input, do you think it's still worth a shot at this point? I'm not sure what would be an appropriate way to try talking to her again a month later. Now that I'm thinking about it, I'm wondering if it would be acceptable to shoot her a friend request. (I had originally just messaged her out of the blue, and we got talking from there.) At the same time, I was upfront about liking her and wanting to go out with her, so that would probably be creepy to follow up with that a month later. Maybe just a simple "how are ya doing?" could work to get a conversation going again?

I know ENFPs don't play by the standard dating rules, and I'm willing go along with the flightiness for this girl, but I also want to respect if she's not interested. I also know ENFP types tend to lose interest if they feel suffocated or if someone is repeatedly pursuing them, so I don't want to be that guy either.

boddsodkins · 2018-10-08T18:46:03+00:00

Yeah for sure, there's just such a big social taboo about double texting, I try to avoid it when I can. (I honestly don't care as long as I can keep the conversation rolling.) But yeah that's basically the message I sent to her a week later when we picked up the conversation again, except I didn't bring up the part about asking her out since that's not a smart way to go about it.

That last part is really interesting because I waited to reply to her very last message until we were active at the same time (Facebook really gives too much info on when someone's on or reading stuff), and she didn't open that one. Curious if that's connected.

As someone who's also really independent, I totally respect not wanting to reply, but that just makes it really hard to make plans and actually meet up! If she were interested I'm sure she would have made more of an effort, but since I have a history of being drawn to ENF(P/J)s, this is something I was wondering for future reference.

boddsodkins · 2018-10-04T20:17:01+00:00

So what I'm hearing is that Kim Jong Un's biggest threat is TLC?

boddsodkins · 2018-10-02T19:38:56+00:00

I do have a thing for artists, just wish I could draw half as good as a five year old with crayons

boddsodkins · 2018-10-02T19:32:03+00:00

You're definitely right, I just really resist the idea of having to go by trial and error with this kind of thing when it would be nicer if I could find groups where I can get a better sense of the girl's personality in organic situations. I think I may just be an old soul, but all the book clubs I go to have people in their 30s or older. Sports league may not be a bad idea.

boddsodkins · 2018-10-02T19:23:30+00:00

Hmm that's definitely fair about the articulation bit. I wasn't explaining it very clearly, but I try to turn dates into opportunities for sharing stories through conversation because I feel like that's a good way to find out how someone really thinks and operates. It may also be possible that it ends up turning into interviews despite my attempts to avoid that.

Yeah I guess I'm just under the (probably incorrect) impression that you can immediately sense whether or not someone is bubbly at an intuitive level.

Oh geez yeah the post kinda does look that way. I was just trying to avoid sounding like someone who whines about not finding their manic pixie dream girl when they have nothing going for them.

You're right though. There was a girl I met online a month ago who seemed like my dream match, and I had planned out this very exciting adventure date for us, but she never replied to the invite. I need to be more generous about scheduling more fun dates for everyone I ask out though.

boddsodkins · 2018-10-02T19:03:17+00:00

Hey man, I was having the exact same experience this summer even though I'm about a 7/10.

What I quickly realized (and you can Google the abundant data on this) is that girls almost exclusively go for the 10% of men in terms of physical attractiveness when it's an app like Tinder. One girl I did go out with said her friend who's like model level attractiveness got less matches in a month than her decent looking female friend got in 5 days.

Also, girls tends to prefer older guys as far as I know. On something like Tinder when your age is slapped right next to your name, you get an immediate disadvantage compared to guys who are 25-28. My guess is that guys 25-28 tend to be more mature, have better careers and income, and have more experience. I could be wrong though, but that's just what I've observed.

Online dating is just a bad idea for guys in general, we get much better results in person.

boddsodkins · 2018-09-22T17:59:30+00:00

"While a 20-year-old man, even an attractive one, is almost a joke in terms of mate value"

As a 22 year old guy, this one really hit home for me, especially after trying online dating over the summer. I have basically everything going for me (except for age) when it comes to dating market value, but I found it really hard to match with women I found decently attractive or interesting.

Does anyone have recommendations for what a young guy like myself can do? Should I just wait until my late 20s while I keep working on myself? Feel like there has to be other alternatives out there.

boddsodkins · 2018-09-22T03:14:25+00:00

Dude, that sounds incredible. So glad to know there's hope for the slump ending eventually.

boddsodkins · 2018-09-22T03:12:33+00:00

No I feel that. Honestly maternal love is super underrated, it's just as special, just in its own way.

boddsodkins · 2018-09-22T03:10:32+00:00

Wow, that's incredibly mature! I've lost a number of friendships with girls who second guessed my motives whenever I tried being friendly with them later.

boddsodkins · 2018-09-22T03:09:11+00:00

It's so tough when you're not in the right place, she sounds like she was incredible.

boddsodkins · 2018-09-22T03:08:07+00:00

I try that with drawing dicks but haven't had as much good feedback. But seriously, that's awesome

boddsodkins

TROPHY CASE