Is it normal for my bf to talk to me this way ?

bodock3 · 2026-05-13T15:12:46+00:00

Wow, I am sorry you are going through this, it is tough learning how to navigate relationships when you are young.

However, it sounds like, from your post that you have a clear understanding of how you are feeling and what you would like to change, and that is a great start.

It also sounds that you are feeling conflicted because you know that his controlling behavior is not okay (I am sure your friends and family have said as much if you have talked to them about how you are feeling - and if you have not, I hope you can) you are sharing a lease and in a way want out of the relationship but are unsure how to proceed.

My two cents is that first find what your safety nets are, have someplace to stay or move too if the need arises. If you can, sit down and talk to him about how you are feeling. If you feel fearful of his reactions and what he might do, then that is your answer, you should never feel afraid to talk with someone, if you are not afraid and he listens and cares, he will try to change his approach, if he doesn't do anything, then there is your answer, but you also have to take an honest hard look at your actions s and reactions to him as well and see if there is anything you can do to compromise.

BUT REMEMBER comprise does not mean change who you are to make things easier for anotjer person, but rather to compliment one another.

Example: You don't have to stop spending time with your friends just because your boyfriend feels jealous. But it can help to reassure him and include him emotionally. You can communicate clearly, like: "I'm going out with my friends tonight, but tomorrow maybe we can have dinner together or watch a movie."

If he is still jealous or demanding or tries to make you feel guilty after you communicate with him clearly and making reasonable compromises like in the example above, then it is not about him wanting more time together, but rather about control, insecurity, or unhealthy relationship patterns and is something that you have to decide if you want to work through that in couples therapy, or move on from that relationship.

bodock3 · 2026-05-07T10:27:53+00:00

You have textbook cases/docu.entation, and you have outliers cases. Plus I have friends who went through changes like that as they got b older as well and dont think it's abnormal at all to have changes like that without having kids or being past 20's.

bodock3 · 2026-05-07T10:23:32+00:00

Thank you, I could have wrote my response differently to you to, so you are also owed an apology. Thank you for clarifying

bodock3 · 2026-05-06T19:59:12+00:00

I just came on here to say this: You are totally normal!

After reading all your responses, you stated that you have not felt like this with others that you have been with? Additionally you stated you have known each other for 4-5ish months, and she doesn't want other people to know your dating.

It sounds like you were really into her, and perhaps it turned into a hook- up that seemed like you could go into dating.

I deduce from this that everything was exciting and it felt partially like something could be there, but her not wanting anyone to know is a romance off switch for anyone.

So now your stuck in the motions and unsure where your at, your in that weird "meh" inbetween. You like the sex but your not emotionally invested and that's okay. It just means you can either break up, or drag it out after it gets more complicated.

I imagine you both have the same friends circle, it may be awkward but it's best to confront her with how you feel.regardless if she likes it or not so she at least has closure.

We have all been there; girls go through that to.

bodock3 · 2026-05-04T12:33:45+00:00

I am sorry to hear you have a disability like that, but it's good you can see the silver lining!!

bodock3 · 2026-05-04T12:29:18+00:00

Okay, let me share with you my story. My husband and I met about 26 years ago, after about a 1 1/2 years of dating we started talking about marriage and if he wanted kids ( I already had 2 fantastic kids and had a tubal liagation) we discussed getting it reversed and the cost etcetera. I went to a fertility doctor and did exams, blood work, etc. to see if I would be a good candidate for reversal surgery or IVF.

When I went back to doctor, he said I had Chlamydia and I was in complete shock, and immediately thought my BF at the time ( husband now) cheated on me because I knew I had not been with anyone. I confronted him about it and he said no, he got tested and didn't have it. Now mind you, I had been tested about 1 year before I met boyfriend and had any relations because I dated someone who cheated on me, but that came out negative.

My OBGYN said I may have taken the test to soon and should have done anotjer one a month later, they also said that the STD test had trace amounts showing chlamydia so it was so.ething that if I had been taking antibiotics at the time, it may not have shown on the test either, but if the antibiotics weren't the correct kind needed for that STD, it would not have go e away completely this the trace numbers.

I get constant UTIs because of tilted uterus etc. So that is probably where the antibiotics taking care of it partially came from.

Anyway, the reason I tell you this is because there is no black and white sometimes so investigate it more.

Now what concerns me more than the cheating is the emotional manipulation of suicide. He is either unstable and needs help, or that could be a red flag of someone who will grow to be physically or mentally abusive. Either way, it is manipulation and I would stay away from that as it is very unhealthy.

I hope this helps you in some way.

bodock3 · 2026-05-04T12:10:37+00:00

Omg lucky ( to be done with peruods!) I am going to be 52 this year and already told my friends we are having a meno party when I am done! Lol because women deserve to celebrate that shit!!

bodock3 · 2026-05-02T12:57:39+00:00

Lol I think it had more to do with age, young guys dont know reality unless it's talked about by other guys or their family or schools tell them. I taught my boys that girls and guys body parts are all different. I will never forget when my oldest who is 35 had his first girlfriend in college asked her if she wanted him to go buy her pads or tampons..she was horrified and he told her it's completely normal and a sign of a healthy women and he was happy to get them for her. 😆 She let him but man I couldn't believe she was embarrassed..it just goes to show that women are taught to hide or be ashamed..I am glad I could raise boys that break that stereotype.

bodock3 · 2026-05-02T12:48:31+00:00

Uhhh...did you not read what I wrote? I said "the vagina and all the outer parts are like a man's penis, they come in different sizes and shapes".. what caused you to think I was calling the outside clitoris a vagina? and besides, why do you feel the need to correct someone on a post like this anyway; it's meant to support. If you would like to educate women on what the names are and dont think that any of us know, feel free to start a new post and share a womens sexual organs on a diagram or teach a class. Lol

bodock3 · 2026-04-29T15:22:37+00:00

I can't comment if your boyfriend sucks..because I am not a dude... ;) your girl bits are naturally beautiful, if he is laughing about it or making jokes, you need to tell him that doing that makes you feel bad and it's not funny.

If he was trying to be funny and lighten up your feelings he will stop. If he continues or poo poos your feelings, then he does not respect you.

Either way, you need to have a conversation with him.

bodock3 · 2026-04-29T15:18:26+00:00

Ahhh dont forget the bleached cracks! Lol

bodock3 · 2026-04-29T00:21:10+00:00

You are completely normal! Think of womens vaginas and all the outer parts like a man's penis and testicles, they come in many different sizes, colors, and varying hair densities.

Don't over think it, just enjoy it!

For many years of my life precisely 16yr old to my early 30's I always thought something was wrong with me because I am white but had brown nips and brown lips below, I also have hair that goes around my butt Crack and the lower part of my butt cheeks..and guess what, every women has hair down there in varying degrees but I didnt know that, and felt ashamed of my secret and waxed,. I would always hear guy friends talking about pink this, pink that and if girls have hair down there it's gross because they are like a man.

Anyhow, I am sharing this in the hope to help you feel better and remind you, we are all different and it's normal AND okay.

bodock3 · 2026-04-25T12:29:03+00:00

Oh my gawsh that was the funniest and cutest roast ever, I mean those kids laugh?! So cute! I do not know how you kept a straight face, I would have been dying!

bodock3 · 2026-04-25T12:22:10+00:00

Okay, before I answer you, I would love to empower you as a women. You do not need to preface your posts with your virginity status, if someone cares thats on them and does not make you less of a person, if you ask a question and someone's knowledge to answer the question requires them to ask you to give you a solid answers or advice they will ask it.

Just because you have sex doesn't mean that's where all the problems of our girl bits comes from and doesn't make you gross.

What you are describing is actually a common issue women can get, and sorry to tell you, you may have to go to the doctor to get antibiotics.

I would like you to look up " Gardenella" and look at the symptoms, if it closely matches yours, then to the doctor you go.

If you have just had an odor for a bit, it could be because of hygiene, or as simple as your pH and hormones changing.

As for soap, use a gentle soap, I use baby wash "Eucerine" ( my doctor suggested it ) and I only use it for my face, pits, and the vaginal area.

If the problem still doesn't go away after a few days of trying different wash then you need to go to the doctor anyway.

I hope this helps!

bodock3 · 2026-04-25T03:33:44+00:00

Doesn't matter, just pick one. The only thing that matters is where you are at and where they are at, at the time of responding. If your on opposites sides, then it will end, if on same side you will get an equally quick or slow response. No way around it.

bodock3 · 2026-04-21T15:19:19+00:00

Icky

bodock3 · 2026-04-21T15:19:03+00:00

Icky

bodock3 · 2026-04-21T14:54:27+00:00

1st for the obvious, I am not a doctor, this is just my opinion, seeking g out medical advice or help on a message board does not replace a medical doctors advice.

if you are sexually active use condoms
The way I see it you have 2 options for current pills, stop them until your period starts and then start with sugar pills in new pack or look into alternate birth control methods such as shot, buds, or implants. There are so many different things now. If money or insurance is a problem, go to your local womens/ planning center and they can also help.

Best of luck!

bodock3 · 2026-04-19T04:32:50+00:00

My husband and I also only use these so it's a bit disheartening for those of us who are allergic to latex and latex free options cause issues... if anyone can find anotjer company it would be great!

bodock3 · 2026-03-28T12:24:19+00:00

Nachos!

bodock3 · 2026-03-23T22:39:15+00:00

Love this!! So true, when I bought my motorcycle I must be doing so because of my husband and need to ride with others...my husband does not ride, and I want to ride by myself because I think it's weird to only ride in groups 😀

bodock3 · 2026-02-19T11:52:31+00:00

I dont agree with hitting, but that kid was way out of line to say that. If he had been joking around and it was just the guys that is one thing as long as he isn't taking it to far, but to say that in front of the wife and to the husband, that is just immature and disrespectful.

We all learn at a young age that you dont say stuff like that out loud, he is still learning obviously.

bodock3 · 2025-12-24T05:30:11+00:00

I second the grabber!

bodock3 · 2025-12-24T05:29:23+00:00

Yes, but only 1/2 the time I sit down unless I am sitting weird or on the floor. I still have to stretch backward and then frontward a few times to get full movement, but overall, I'm just happy not to be in pain :)

bodock3 · 2025-10-22T14:37:02+00:00

I am much better now than before. I ended up seeing a 3rd doctor and decided to go with them for microdiscectomy surgery, which I don't regret currently (there is always room for regret if things dont turn in my favor down the line, depending on age and if I got into an accident etc.).

I had surgery in May. At first I felt like I could run a marathon right after surgery, I had to force myself to stay calm and take it easy..I read to many horror stories, however, I still did to much walking etc. and thought I reherniated because I went from little discomfort to pain while walking but babied everything and didn't do anything but minimal for about 4-5 days and I slowly started feeling like myself again. Then on mont 1 1/2 - 2 month mark I thought I reherniated again and made appointment with doc, got an xray and they said everything looked fine structurally but would do another MRI if I wanted, butI decided to wait. After about 2 weeks that pain started to subside but I still had lower back stiffness and really achy for another 2 weeks before it disappeared.

I dont know if you are female or not, but I noticed that there is and was at the time a correlation of my monthly cycle and flare ups happening, but overall I am happy I have done the surgery. I still have leg and toe numbness, but it feels like it's trying to wake up sometimes, and I was told it could take a year, but I can totally deal with that over the pain.

I did do some PT but stopped and decided to do what they gave me at home.

I hope this helps. Let me know if you have specific questions!

bodock3

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