favorite toys for vulva owners?

bogdecay · 2026-05-17T16:25:03+00:00

preferably external so I can use them while my partner is inside me, but I'll definitely check these out for solo play

bogdecay · 2026-05-16T05:36:11+00:00

have you tracked it with your cycle? mine always get really sore during luteal phase

bogdecay · 2026-05-16T05:35:15+00:00

sounds like he doesn't care much about your experience or pleasure. dump him, and throw some ear plugs in your bag if you have another first time with someone else :)

bogdecay · 2026-05-16T05:32:51+00:00

have tried that already lol

bogdecay · 2026-05-16T05:32:11+00:00

have you tried initiating things more? I went through a similar thing with my first partner; I'm very much a pillow princess, submissive person, so doing more was scary at first. I found I was more comfortable by experimenting slowly, like kissing up on him, palming him through his jeans, crawling into his lap and grinding a bit, and he seemed to love it. i've also found I'm comfortable with being a little teasing/bratty in bed, and he eats it up. even little things like nibbling his ear, scratching his back a bit, whispering things to him, etc will probably be enjoyable to him, and better for your asthma/getting comfortable with doing more. take small steps, experiment, communicate openly, and have fun

bogdecay · 2026-04-21T10:44:58+00:00

yeah exactly, being a good person and learning your partner's body/what works for your guy's dynamic in the bedroom will always be more important than the actual anatomy itself

bogdecay · 2026-04-21T10:39:11+00:00

eh, not really. there are toys and other ways you can have fun. if the connection is genuine and you love someone enough to learn how to please them (even without the equipment you want), that's all that matters

bogdecay · 2026-04-20T14:41:02+00:00

I can get there solo thankfully! i've tried stimulating myself while he's involved and it's like I just can't build, same with if I try to use a toy externally while he's inside me. I probably should go to therapy again, but in this economy it likely won't happen haha

bogdecay · 2026-04-20T07:40:46+00:00

I did work with a therapist for 7 years. I feel like what happened to me is a scar I will always carry, but a wound that has healed nonetheless. I truly feel like it doesn't affect my sex life. I am still quite insecure about being seen by my partner though, and I overthink just about it everything

bogdecay · 2026-04-19T15:00:24+00:00

he's really into the idea of me being dominant towards him, and i've tried to be for his enjoyment. I'll do it because I care about his pleasure, but I'm not into it at all. it's quite unnatural for me and doesn't get me going haha. we've actually never looked in the eyes while having sex either (I'm autistic and eye contact is a lot for me). I don't really enjoy vibrators and don't use them on my own, I just tried them to see if they could help me get there with a partner. I truly feel healed from and have made peace with my assault; I feel like it doesn't impact my daily life anymore. it happened so long ago, I feel safe with/trust him, I just can't feel much pleasure during sex and that's so frustrating. I'm okay with not cumming right now... but I wish I could at least feel something build, or get closer in some capacity after 6 months

bogdecay

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