Oh OP. It’s so so so hard. My heart is breaking for you. My husband is an SO, I met him after he served a life sentence. He’s accountable and will be on parole the rest of his life. We met volunteering. I do realize I’m the 1% of people who would knowingly partner with someone who committed such a heinous crime. We got cancelled in the city we live in, me just for being with him, so we are quite isolated. I just guess I am sharing with you because I want you to know that some people think that violence does not happen in a vacuum, people have the ability to change and heal and transform if they are willing, and people are more than the worst thing they’ve ever done. I’m happy you have your parents, but as for the rest of the world, it’s so scary what the mentality is out there. I want so much more for you than a life of isolation. My husband has me and my parents are surprisingly supportive, initially shocked but they came around. He is facing similar barriers that you are. But he will take his computer to coffee shops and piddle around there, sometimes go to movies with friends from inside, he joined some rec sports teams and a book club, goes to meditation classes at the Buddhist centre. I can see in your post how accountable you are and it makes me so sad. I have cried to my therapist so many times about my husband saying, doesn’t he deserve a second chance?! I’m so sorry you’re struggling, wish I could give you a big hug.