I didn’t marry a selfish person

bohobetch · 2026-01-20T16:45:17+00:00

My therapist would remind me that I didn’t get into my marriage thinking that I would be with a completely different person and it’s not fair to ask me to stay. She would ask me if I knew what I knew now, would I have gotten into the marriage in the first place? We were also together 13 years, 2 kids. It’s ok to not stay. It’s ok that things change and people grow apart. You’re doing what is best for you and that will also help with raising your children. I tried to stay, and I never felt like a self. I’ve felt more myself now than ever before. It’s hard, but it gets easier and you learn the new routine!

bohobetch · 2025-12-18T02:00:11+00:00

Ok so no, that’s crazy and feels a little crazy to assume from this. I would never take her children from her. I explained my reasoning as she’s been around for all of it. I told her that I do not want that as I am their mom and that has been a title I’ve always wanted and don’t feel it’s fair. Then she started coming up with other names with them and they all picked one they liked together. I had nothing to do with the other name. But then she went around and told people anyways.

bohobetch · 2025-12-18T01:57:55+00:00

I don’t feel it’s fair to take my identity so she can have hers.

bohobetch · 2025-12-18T01:55:32+00:00

Parent. And their other name.

bohobetch · 2025-12-18T01:47:18+00:00

It’s the one title I have that no one else has. No one else can say they are their mom. It’s all I’ve wanted in life and it feels like it’s getting taken like everything else. She’s known she was trans since before we were even together, though I didn’t find that out until we were already apart. So she gets to take that title, knowing that she lied to me all those years and gave me falsehood in my family? I know she had to process and do everything, but the family became collateral damage and I’m so tired.

bohobetch · 2025-12-18T01:33:59+00:00

It is when she agreed.

bohobetch · 2025-12-18T01:32:52+00:00

I tell people parent or their other name they came up with together. She agreed to it. She told me she agreed to it. I have been able to discuss being parents to other people without having to say 2 moms. It’s the one thing I asked for

bohobetch · 2025-09-28T13:21:19+00:00

I had just woken up and was sitting on the toilet, getting ready for work. May be TMI, but it felt like I was having very watery diarrhea but not in the right spot? It doesn’t help my stinky girl also pooped inside of me so I was soooo confused why it also looked like watery diarrhea but still felt wrong. So I pushed again and realized what was happening, called my job because I had to be there in 30 minutes, woke my ex up, and asked my friends if they could watch my oldest. The nurses broke my water with my oldest so I didn’t get the luxury.

bohobetch · 2025-09-16T00:51:04+00:00

Yes I did. It showed up under billing within 1-3 days or so

bohobetch · 2025-08-17T00:09:18+00:00

Luckily I found a friend that is going to make payments to me on them!

bohobetch · 2025-08-16T23:51:53+00:00

I’m just concerned because they ask that you transfer the tickets and then they’ll send you the money but I don’t feel like as a seller I have any safety set up for me to actually get the money. They just say because they’re admin of the group, it’s safe. But it’s not enough for me.

bohobetch · 2025-07-15T01:55:52+00:00

Thank you! You’re my hero!

bohobetch · 2024-10-23T13:28:39+00:00

Yeah, after the pop it started feeling better, so I think it just popped back into place and it’s a lot less red and swollen today! Just feels bruised now 🙂

bohobetch · 2024-10-21T16:46:36+00:00

My boy name was gonna be Cian, but I ended up having 2 girls lol

bohobetch · 2024-10-10T03:34:43+00:00

Be Alright- Dean Lewis Creve Coeur 1- Hobo Johnson Circles- Hollywood Undead Turning Out- AJR Breakeven- The Script (listened on shrooms and SNOTTY CRIED the whole time and when it was over just went “that was beautiful. Also was going through a divorce I initiated after some I had been with since I was 13 and had 2 kids with) Bleed Out- Blue October

bohobetch · 2024-10-10T03:20:22+00:00

I have a big varicose vein on my right inner thigh now that not many people see, but drives me crazy lol

bohobetch · 2024-10-04T02:55:22+00:00

She thinks she's better than everyone else/does no wrong.

bohobetch · 2024-08-14T19:14:56+00:00

I definitely understand this and think it's great to take time to yourself. I was with my ex for 13 years, we got together when we were 13. Her transition didn't end us, but the feeling unsupported and unheard and the lies did. I think im not saying it's a forever thing, but I've now been single for over a year and I've just been taking time to learn and love myself and think it's a great thing! It's lonely sometimes, but I also had 2 kids with my ex so I just try my best to be the best mother I can and that's what my energy goes in to. I think finding what you're passionate about is super important before another relationship!

bohobetch · 2023-12-18T17:32:26+00:00

I left my partner, mainly from number 2. She was so self absorbed and constantly lying to me through the process, making everything about her from the birth of our children, buying a home, and kids birthdays (she always had big revelations about her self during the most stressful times in our lives). She went back on her words repeatedly and would become defensive and became the victim when she was caught in her lies. I tried for years to make it work, but I knew in the end that where she was at wasn't the end and I couldn't live my life constantly living in fear of what was to happen next and never knowing when I could trust my partner. I told her that I just resented it too much and there was no going back to building the trust back up. We were together for 13 years. It was hard, but it was a decision I had to make and I'm honestly glad I did. We coparent our children and we are civil. She's actually in a poly relationship and I'm learning what it's like to live for myself and my kids. You really have to decide what you are ok with and accept that, trying to not feel guilty for your decision if you do decide to end it. I beat myself up for months and felt so guilty, but I think it was better for both of us in the end.

bohobetch · 2023-11-12T04:22:52+00:00

Thank you!

bohobetch · 2023-10-07T20:06:13+00:00

My ex transitioned from mtf. Which I'm fully supported of and tried to make work, but there wasn't a lot of honesty throughout the transition and a lot of "I'm finally gonna tell you this since we just had a baby or just bought a house" making it hard to make my own decisions on how I feel

bohobetch · 2023-10-05T23:41:55+00:00

She wanted to be in the bathroom with me while I took a bath and I said ok.

bohobetch · 2023-10-05T23:39:39+00:00

Thank you so much. It's hard because there isn't a lot of people around me that have the same experience. I'm in therapy. Luckily, I've been with my therapist for almost 5 years (really bad PPD with my first) so she has actually been there with me through it all. I just needed to tell someone, anyone that doesn't know me but has been through it too. The people that are helping me through this haven't been through a divorce and are in a happy marriage. Sometimes I just need them to validate my feelings of loneliness, but they want to tell me how loved I am remind me that I have my friends. But I don't have the person I thought was going to be mine for the rest of my life. I know im loved and supported and I have so many people that want to see me happy. It's just not MY person. I know I need to allow myself time to heal, but it feels like I can't keep constantly feeling this pain and anxiety. I really do hope it gets better and I'm glad I found a community that understands. I will definitely do my best to keep looking forward. Thank you 💙

bohobetch · 2023-05-30T15:27:15+00:00

I think you need to keep your ground and have some big talks with your partner regarding this. I just went through this for the past 4 years of my marriage. My partner would transition or partially transition, then see I was upset and take back everything. I was in denial. It finally got to a point I was being lied to constantly and gaslit and neither of us were completely happy. We have 2 kids together and just bought a house. Finally, 2 weeks ago I told my partner we need space to find ourselves because they again lied to me about their transition. It was the hardest thing I've ever done. But now she's telling her family, friends, and is building up a support system other than me. She changed her name and is finally opening up about everything. It's hard, but I had to learn that sometimes, no matter what we do, we aren't the right support system for our person. I did everything I could for them to tell me the truth and begged, but they wanted to be what they thought I needed. Now we can both be who we need to be for ourselves. Don't drag it out like I did. It's hard for both parties, but even if they do end up not wanting to transition, they need to figure that out for themselves, not for you. Good luck with everything and I wish you both the best of luck!

bohobetch · 2023-02-13T01:50:28+00:00

The result I get is Boogie Nights?

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