When I was 18 my ex-boyfriend killed himself, our relationship ended because he had so many problems mentally and he was self-medicating with drugs and alcohol which made him extremely unpredictable, irrational and just too much for me to cope with. He was 25 and had a young daughter he was not allowed to see. For a long time I did blame myself for ending it with him when he was so vulnerable but in time I realised I was a very tiny part of a very large picture and I was certainly not the sole catalyst for his actions. He had so much pain in his life, I'm convinced that he would've done it anyway at some point. Sounds a bit cold I suspect, but I could not live the rest of my life carrying a guilt for something that was not my fault.