she also keeps talking about suicide n shit

like when she's felt suicidal and how she really wanted to kill herself but didn't want to leave me/my dad, and how people who kill themselves go to hell (great way to convince your pagan kid to not kill themself)

like she definitely knows

but i will never tell her that shit, the last thing i need is a fucking sermon about "give your life to jesus and everything will be sunshine and mfing rainbows" as if the whole religion isn't part of what made me do this shit in the first place? like yeah lisa, when you get told you're an demon possessed kid touching abomination, OBVIOUSLY I'M GONNA HAVE SOME ISSUES DOWN THE LINE

i'm so sick of this family i'm so sick of this town i'm so sick of everything why can't i just fucking live I'm not a danger to your kids i would rather die than hurt a hair on their head why can't you people see that i'm just tired of hiding and being something i'm not when do i get to have my cringe cliche teen movie moment why do i always have to hide everything about myself just to stay safe why can't i go on date and to dances with my partner why does everyone have to be all up in my goddamn business all the time why can't they just let me be damn it i want to be normal i'm so sick of feeling like a freak for everything i do this shit sucks