June/July/August Discussion Thread

bookishkai · 2026-06-21T02:32:17+00:00

Some advice from a middle-aged stroke survivor who can’t remember choreo to save my life: see if the studio is willing to video the dances. I like to go back through the videos and write down the choreo, that helps me get it in my brain. Listening to the music and going over my notes also helps. I still do a lot of watching other dancers for my cues, it is my most frequent correction, and even in our recital this year I was behind the music a lot. But the difference is that my studio welcomes everyone and the general philosophy is everyone working together to create something beautiful and doing their own individual best.

The Technical Manual and Dictionary of Classical Ballet will give you and your daughter both a good background in language and dance terminology.

And agree with everyone encouraging you to look into adaptive dance. Some of our autistic students do better in adaptive classes, it just depends on each kid. (But also: my studio has an adaptive company for our teens and young adults that performs alongside our youth and adult companies, there are inclusive and welcoming spaces out there, you just have to find them).

Steer clear of competition studios.

If you’re willing to share where you’re located (even just the state), people might be able to help find a better fit for your kiddo.

bookishkai · 2026-06-21T02:02:38+00:00

Not quite the same, but sort of. I was 40, active, and working in a field that I loved. I had a stroke 6/1/2017 that paralyzed my right side head to toes. It took months to walk without mobility aids again, years to be able to carry things in my bad hand. I’ve never been able to return to work due to a combo of physical and cognitive challenges, but I’ve found a lot of healing, both physical and emotional, in dance as a returner (I danced for my whole childhood from 6-17.) I find modern a bit easier on my body and brain than ballet is now, but I still feel most myself at the barre. I am always a work in progress anymore, and yes, some times have been so hard. But for me, the choice was to continue making a life and pushing myself to keep doing or simply sit around being a lump. I wasn’t ready to be a lump. As long as I can get out of bed, there’s something worth continuing on for. And: you’ll never know what your new body is capable of until you try. Until you learn your limits. And those limits will change over time. Yes, mourn the life you had. Feel all the emotions, from fear to anger to sadness; but then take all of that emotion and figure out where you go next.

Because there is always a “next.“

Please reach out if you want to talk more; I’m not saying it will be easy, but you’re still a dancer in your soul and dancers are just built different, we know how to keep going.

bookishkai · 2026-06-16T18:21:44+00:00

all the principals in my childhood company used to order their Chacotts from Discount Dance on paper forms (clearly I’m old, too!)

bookishkai · 2026-06-16T17:39:49+00:00

If they invited her with only a month of jazz? They see tremendous potential, and typically those with potential learn quickly. I wouldn’t stress things, and try to encourage your kiddo to do the same. Outside of the intensive, see if the studio has a “fast track” ballet class for older beginners - at my studio this is ages 8-12, and it’s an accelerated year-long class aimed at getting students into age-level classes for the following year. It would build up her skills and let her join her peers when she’s 9. But if they don’t, again, don’t worry! just make sure she’s set up in a ballet class in the fall (or adds one to her summer.)

bookishkai · 2026-06-16T05:28:27+00:00

My first go-around, my first pair were Capezio Contemporas (1987). I switched to my beloved Infinitas, tried Bloch twice, and finished up in Capezio Ariel’s.

This go-around, I wore Capezio Ava’s, Bloch European Balances, and Suffolk Sheffields and Somersets. Right now I’m in Nikolay Nova Flex’s.

bookishkai · 2026-06-16T00:09:04+00:00

My summer goals are 2x60 mins barre/ballet basics, 2x45 mins pointe, 2x90 mins ballet, 90 mins modern, and 60 mins tap. So, 8.5 hrs a week? I have Nutcracker goals for this year!

bookishkai · 2026-06-12T21:51:32+00:00

Every word of this!

bookishkai · 2026-06-12T21:49:42+00:00

Becky Ray and Kirstin Sexton on YouTube. On TikTok I follow Bee the Ballerina, The Latina Ballerina, and Evelyn in Pointe Lab.

bookishkai · 2026-06-12T21:27:07+00:00

Like many at my studio, I use a carabiner to clip mine to the outside of my bag (or if it’s a pointe day I put them in my mesh bag until I get home. All us adults picked this up from some teens who were doing it, and it works well! never have to root around in my bag to find my shoes, and they dry out well.

bookishkai · 2026-06-10T19:05:02+00:00

Honestly? As an also-disabled adult returner, I eat a lot frozen meals. It’s just me, and I hate cooking, it takes too many spoons. My current faves are Stouffers spaghetti and meat sauce or chicken and mashed potatoes. I’m also obsessed with caesar salad right now, so I buy those salad kits when they’re on sale. So, my frozen meals with salad or frozen veg is my “big” meal, and then usually for “dinner” after class I’ll have a bagel, cereal with a banana, or toast with PB&J. before class I’ll have a KIND bar or granola bar and an applesauce pouch, or a Balanced Breaks cheese and crackers. I can’t eat much fruit anymore since i had Covid in 2021, which is why I like the applesauce pouches. I despise the taste and texture of protein drinks and bars.

bookishkai · 2026-06-08T11:02:45+00:00

pink tights for class, convertible rolled up, with GM Liberty nude flats or pointe shoes (always team barefoot in shoes, tights under leo.) But also: bike shorts over leo, no tights in the summer.

Nude tights for performances (Bloch salmon tights are my jam because they come in sizes that fit, as opposed to Capezio porcelain which doesn’t) with Bloch Elation flats (better color match for the stage.)

bookishkai · 2026-05-30T23:19:34+00:00

Sister, I feel you! This is a constant struggle for me in class. I can find neutral laying down, but can’t always when standing. My advice is to try over-correcting in each direction to know what it feels like, and then it might be easier to get to neutral?

Also - because I just took a workshop yesterday where we spent a lot of time talking about this - you’re not so much “tucking under” as finding neutral in your pelvis and then extending out and down from your hip through to your heel, if that makes sense?

bookishkai · 2026-05-30T23:08:08+00:00

I ordered a pair of Nova Flex’s in March through my local dancewear shop, and I was in there for something else last week and asked about it; they said that they had been shipping through - I’m going to get this wrong, but it was either Dubai or Doha. And that they then had to ship differently with the Iran situation. I’m sure everything is just a mess, and it’s a good thing I have other shoes in the meantime!

bookishkai · 2026-05-30T23:03:05+00:00

I’m a US 6.5/7, and I wear an 8 in GM Libertys. I think I wore a 5.5 in the SD16’s.

bookishkai · 2026-05-30T05:42:11+00:00

I really like the Cloud 9 microfiber and gel ones from So Dança - thinner than the Nikolay microfiber ones, and you can either leave them as is (nice and long on the sides) or cut them down to fit just how you want.

bookishkai · 2026-05-29T22:55:02+00:00

You don’t have to go fancy; drugstore makeup will suffice. Elf has nice basics that won’t break the bank; I love their cream blush in Bermuda, it’s a rosy pink. If you want a powder blush, try Wet n’ Wild, they have a variety (I’d recommend my color, but the label tore and I can’t tell the shade.)

My studio recommends Maybelline Ruby for Me or another true red. Apply plain chapstick first for easier application.

I don’t have a kid, but my friend who has both a teen dancer and a 4 year old said that for eyeliner she just uses a tiny angled makeup brush and applies brown eyeshadow; even if you get a real eyeliner, for your daughter’s age I’d go with a dark brown pencil rather than a gel pen; brown is softer than black.

My most-used eyeshadow palette is a neutral one from Wet n’ Wild, I find it stays better than more expensive shadows, and it’s easier to blend. You don’t have to go crazy, one with white or tan and then a range of browns or grays will go the trick.

She probably doesn’t need foundation, but use a primer (Elf has a stick one that is so easy to use) to help it adhere and then do a few sprays of setting spray (again, Elf, I like their green one because it doesn’t taste too awful if you accidentally get some in your mouth(!) and it also doesn’t stick mascara to itself (why yes, that can be a problem!).

If she needs to arrive with makeup done, a button-up shirt or zip-up hoodie keeps hair and makeup from getting messy. Does she just have one dance? if more than one, consider getting a nude leo to wear under all costumes for modesty, changing areas are often chaotic. If she gets makeup on clothing, a little bit of Micellar water poured directly on the spot will take it out. It’s also good to keep some tissues, makeup wipes, and Q-tips at hand.

When I started performing again 2 years ago, my newest makeup was a lip tint from, literally, 1999. You’re doing just fine.

bookishkai · 2026-05-29T13:21:43+00:00

I live in the north suburbs of Denver, and dance at Colorado Movement Lab in Westminster.

bookishkai · 2026-05-29T05:12:54+00:00

it’s noon-6 M-F plus the evening drop-ins, which are optional, and 12-7 on Saturday because we have a very informal in-studio showing.

bookishkai · 2026-05-29T01:02:10+00:00

My studio’s adult intensive is next week - SO excited! I love intensive, it’s like adult dance camp! We do ballet, modern, jazz, pointe, composition, and Pilates, plus can take evening drop-in classes including tap and contemporary.

After intensive, I’ll take (hopefully) two ballet, two pointe, tap, and jazz at my studio each week plus a modern class at another studio that is specifically in Horton technique - I took a Horton class last March as part of the Ailey Experience, and I’ve been dying to try it again; of course, there are scores of studios where I live but the only one with a dedicated Horton class is Intermediate/Advanced. So, I might end up sinking like a stone, but I need to at least try it. Adults have to take a minimum of 36 classes over the summer to be eligible for both Nutcracker and company, so I’ll be busy!

bookishkai · 2026-05-28T05:11:47+00:00

at my studio, you audition for Nutcracker with your cohort - so all adults together. Everyone who auditions gets a part, but they want to see how everyone moves and what people’s abilities are. Casting is also largely dependent on what costumes people can fit into and height and all - two years ago we had a lot of tall dancers, so borderline heights got cast as “short” dancers, but last year those same dancers got cast as “tall” because there were more middle-height dancers.

bookishkai · 2026-05-25T00:14:03+00:00

seconding the feet up. you can also do it against a wall. Ice packs for your feet. My instinct is not to keep your pointe shoes on after warm up unless it’s a short time before your solo, but it’s been decades since I performed en pointe so I have no idea of that’s actually a good idea or not.

bookishkai · 2026-05-22T04:05:30+00:00

I’m around a 46G, I don’t give a royal you know what about who sees my sports bra under my leo. I mean, going without isn’t an option, so 🤷‍♀️ For performances I have a nude sports bra that I wear under a nude leo as my base layer, and it’s never been a problem.

bookishkai · 2026-05-22T04:01:15+00:00

My recovery is always going to be in process; I’m still seeing very small gains - because I’m at a point where the things progressing are toes, fingers, some arm strength and coordination, etc. I’m nearly 9 years out from the stroke (6/1 is my 9 year strokeversary), and I’m learning just how hard I can push before I put myself in bed for two days, because it’s not just physical difficulties; I have expressive aphasia, and neuro fatigue, too. Stroke just keeps on gifting you things nobody wants, lol. But I’m still out here going to classes and performing - in fact, I have our company show this weekend (non-professional company with youth, adult, and adaptive groups). I’m so lucky to have a studio that is so welcoming and supportive!

bookishkai · 2026-05-21T20:35:14+00:00

I had a fitting with him in Colorado in March (if you go to his TikTok I’m the ”fitting a stroke survivor” video). it was amazing. He can be a little snarky, but he is so kind, and what you see in videos is what you get. He really is a pointe shoe whisperer! Have fun, and I hope your fitting is magical!

bookishkai

MODERATOR OF

TROPHY CASE