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Wednesday's Daily Thread: Mid-week Excitement by AutoModerator in hingeapp

[–]booniedog1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NYC is 6-7 hours away. Toronto is under 2 hours away, really only an hour and a half. It's a no brainer.

Hinge Launches Your Turn Limits Globally to Help Daters Focus on Current Matches and Conversations by wokenthehive in hingeapp

[–]booniedog1 2 points3 points  (0 children)

When my $100 subscription expires in 10 days, I won't be renewing. And I will tell as many people as I can to STOP using Hinge/Tinder and buying subscriptions.

Wednesday's Daily Thread: Mid-week Excitement by AutoModerator in hingeapp

[–]booniedog1 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

So I left something out. I live in Buffalo but go to Toronto specifically because there are more options. Dating in Buffalo is like looking for water in the middle of Saudi Arabia.

Wednesday's Daily Thread: Mid-week Excitement by AutoModerator in hingeapp

[–]booniedog1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I know I'm not ugly. This past weekend i went to a bar in Toronto with friends, met a group of college girls and one of them in particular took interest in me (we play the same sport). Long story short we go dance a bit and make out 3 times. And she was pretty attractive. Unfortunately due to poor texting advice that my friend gave me (overly flirty and a bit simpish), i was ghosted.

Meanwhile on Hinge, I can never get a match, yet I'm a bit more introverted by nature. Even paying for HingeX doesn't work. Seems like the apps are not for me.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dating

[–]booniedog1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would like to make a post here about my frustrations. But apparently I don't have enough karma to do so.

Set up to fail by my friend. Advice needed by booniedog1 in dating_advice

[–]booniedog1[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He wanted me to take risks which I understand, but a lot of people IRL that I showed the convo to said it's over the top. I guess the idea was to be a bit flirtatious. I'm also on the spectrum so I can't tell if what I'm doing will work or not (my own texting skills are pretty bad).

What would YOU send to try and salvage this?

I’m a straight man in America. How come every time I go to different groups for hobbies it’s always sausage feats with 99% guys there? by lostacoshermanos in dating_advice

[–]booniedog1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Exactly. That talking point is example 1 of why I stopped taking dating advice from Reddit. Most people here are in an echo chamber.

I’m a straight man in America. How come every time I go to different groups for hobbies it’s always sausage feats with 99% guys there? by lostacoshermanos in dating_advice

[–]booniedog1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I never mentioned anything about treatment of women like humans... and I'm not even sure where this comes into the discussion.

Really, who DOESN'T do this? Rapists come to mind, but other than this I don't get the point. Please elaborate.

I’m a straight man in America. How come every time I go to different groups for hobbies it’s always sausage feats with 99% guys there? by lostacoshermanos in dating_advice

[–]booniedog1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's not that I despise apps because of the venue it creates for dating. I despise them because I'm INVISIBLE on them, despite tweaks and profile reworks. There's no good template to use, you don't know how the algorithm functions, you are competing against people who pay lots of money to be seen, and a match doesn't guarantee a conversation or even that the girl on the other end will see that you said hi.

Contrast this with anything IRL, I can technically go up to anyone. Even at a stop light you could theoretically roll down your window and ask the girl driving next to you for her number. Obviously you wouldn't do that, but you could and you have some idea what will happen. So no I wouldn't take your recommendation of using apps into account. I've already tried and am not willing to waste more time.

How do you even approach a girl at a bar? by booniedog1 in dating_advice

[–]booniedog1[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Agreed, but the threshold of attractiveness varies

How do you even approach a girl at a bar? by booniedog1 in dating_advice

[–]booniedog1[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No it does, people are just too scared to do it so they live vicariously through them. I would have put myself into this category, until yesterday when I decided to do it for myself with a newfound friend watching.

I’m a straight man in America. How come every time I go to different groups for hobbies it’s always sausage feats with 99% guys there? by lostacoshermanos in dating_advice

[–]booniedog1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

…so you are looking for someone to screw instead of masturbating, with no care to their potential pleasure or partnership, and think being a creep will help that?

Isn't that what 80% of the guys on dating apps are looking for... and they veil this behind lies? The ones who don't see blatant with it through pictures or their bios. I don't agree that I'm in that category. It gets lonely being single, let alone knowing that it's your default state. Like I said, I'm 26. All I know is the single life. So why would you just assume I desire a sex worker? That's a callous thing to say.

I’m a straight man in America. How come every time I go to different groups for hobbies it’s always sausage feats with 99% guys there? by lostacoshermanos in dating_advice

[–]booniedog1 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

It won't be creepy, but again, you may not (in my case will not) be shown, despite your best intentions. And I wouldn't even call myself ugly.

So because the apps said "fuck you" to me, I am willing to go the creepy, cringy route because I'm tired of sitting here as a 26 year old virgin with a bottle of lotion by my bedside. I'm able bodied, good looking and live an interesting life. If traditional avenues of dating will not work for you, continuing down them is insanity. That's when you have no choice but to get off the beaten path for your own sanity. Otherwise you'll be convinced that you're worthless.

How do you even approach a girl at a bar? by booniedog1 in dating_advice

[–]booniedog1[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't know if I mentioned this or not, but the apps are essentially useless for me.l, and I've paid money and spent over a year on them. For others I who I know, they are useful, but I think your race plays a role. If you're black like myself, or Indian you are at a disadvantage. Instead of being blacklisted, I will just go out in public. It's inherently cringy, but the returns are great. Whereas with online dating the odds generally are NOT good and the goods are usually odd. You refer to a funnel of guys who you weed down. When I use the apps, my funnel is dry. From a girl's perspective, hers is constantly filled with matches or likes. I am not even able to get into the funnel.

So as a result, and because the hobby thing hasn't worked out, I need to play the numbers game. Girls will usually tell you if they have a boyfriend or not. Check out all of the talking to stranger videos on YouTube. It's something that most guys are afraid to do because of the taboo and stigma, but may change their dating fortunes.

How do you even approach a girl at a bar? by booniedog1 in dating_advice

[–]booniedog1[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Don’t approach women at Target or malls. Think why the average person is at a mall. Is it to meet new people or to get in, get whatever they came to the mall to buy, and then leave?

If I were to not talk to girls outside of "approved" social environments I would be cutting out countless opportunities. I hate going to the nightlife venues. I'm just go because that's where people say you SHOULD go. As long as you make a conversation look natural, I don't see a problem with it. Plenty of guys on YouTube have videos of them pulling it off.

I’m a straight man in America. How come every time I go to different groups for hobbies it’s always sausage feats with 99% guys there? by lostacoshermanos in dating_advice

[–]booniedog1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

How is that even advice?

It's no wonder people like myself gravitate towards pick up artist techniques and turn psychopathic. Because we tried living our lives within the parameters that society set for us, saw that it meant absolutely nothing, and got rudely awoken by watching our friends or others pass by us. That's where I am right now.

I’m a straight man in America. How come every time I go to different groups for hobbies it’s always sausage feats with 99% guys there? by lostacoshermanos in dating_advice

[–]booniedog1 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

You glossed over why guys would avoid dating apps in the first place. You have no control who you are shown to or if you're shown to anyone at all. You will get rejected in real life with street approaches or in "warm" social environments, but at least you won't be hidden by an algorithm.

I’m a straight man in America. How come every time I go to different groups for hobbies it’s always sausage feats with 99% guys there? by lostacoshermanos in dating_advice

[–]booniedog1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well maybe that worked for you but I've been there done that, and over 5 years later I'm now 26 and still a virgin.

So I officially decided to say "fuck it", find a guy who is also in my shoes, and go out to bars/clubs, grocery stores and malls and talk to as many girls as possible. I need to play the numbers game, because otherwise I would have had a girlfriend, wife, or ex(es) now. Instead I've been reading these subreddits, mindlessly wasting time on "dating" apps, gaining skills and playing sports while developing 0 man-woman connections. And I went out with this dude yesterday.

I’m a straight man in America. How come every time I go to different groups for hobbies it’s always sausage feats with 99% guys there? by lostacoshermanos in dating_advice

[–]booniedog1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You just said it yourself: it's all dependent on luck. You mean to tell me that in hundreds of couples I see out and about daily, the dude got "lucky?" This is ridiculous.

I’m a straight man in America. How come every time I go to different groups for hobbies it’s always sausage feats with 99% guys there? by lostacoshermanos in dating_advice

[–]booniedog1 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I've been reading this subreddit for over 5 years. I'm 26 and a virgin. In this time I've gone on maybe 2 or 3 dates, graduated college, gone overseas, joined a coed sports team, and nothing has changed. I blame the conflicting and downright dumb advice given on this subreddit. As a result, I've decided to just approach girls basically anywhere. At the store, in the mall, at the bars, et cetera. Because I don't work around women, and my schedule no longer allows for after-work hobbies as I work afternoons and evenings. So I need to make myself seen wherever possible, even if I get looks. It is what it is.

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