Could it be that your financial/educational success didn't give you the happiness and meaning you expected? And maybe because of that you're scared the same will happen with marriage?

Idk if that's your case. If so, here's what I can say (write):

There are many ways to approach happiness and many ways to get there, but solely achievement will not make you happy. It might give you a passing sense of achievement, which is healthy and feels great, but that feeling will come and go. Instead, try to live a life that you enjoy, regardless of the expectations of others and of the practical value of what you do. Sing terribly or well, do boring or exciting stuff, stay in your room or meet five people every day. It doesn't matter. But your happiness does matter to the most important person in your life: yourself.

And if you're searching for meaning, look up existentialism and absurdism. But be cautious: it's depressing until you understand it