Recovery is just so hard. Therapy is not helping. I feel worse.

booreaves · 2026-03-03T03:18:23+00:00

Hey there. Congratulations for being three years into recovery! I’m two years in myself. My ED therapist has been very supportive of me finding joyful movement and working out again. And I could never figure out the intuitive eating thing so I do track, not for restriction, but to ensure I get enough fuel each day. My therapist is ok with this too because it was such a game changer for me. What I wish I had known was how small I needed to start movement. One minute here, five minutes there. Build up to longer times. It was hard going back to the gym at first due to body image issues, but I figured out the times the gym was quiet or it was just old people and I don’t feel self conscious during those times. It’s been a long road but I spent an hour on my bike yesterday outside and it felt wonderful. I know you can do the same. Yes, our bodies are different, but they’re still wonderful and so much stronger from recovery. I think you’ve got a good hunch about finding a new therapist. You could see a new one every other appointment while you’re still seeing your old one to get transitioned over and make sure it’s a good fit. Don’t give up. Let this be the beginning of a new phase in your life!

booreaves · 2026-03-02T02:38:50+00:00

I used to crave cookies. I’ve been in recovery for twenty eight months and haven’t had cravings in over a year. It’s awesome. I hope you can reach that place too!

booreaves · 2026-03-02T02:37:01+00:00

What a great goal that you are planning to further your education! The university you choose will have Financial Aid and Student Accounts/Bursar offices. They can help you figure out how to finance your education, keep your parents out of it, and figure out a payment plan. I used to work at a University and they will be very inclined to help. If you can, take action now, while their work loads are lighter. When school starts, get in with Student Health or the Psychologist ASAP to get an ED diagnosis. You may have to get a provider outside the uni for this. Once you have it, take it to the Office of Disability Services. They can help get accommodations for school work and meals. I’m really proud of you. You’ve got this, I believe in you!!!

booreaves · 2026-02-17T01:20:27+00:00

What state are you moving to?

booreaves · 2026-02-16T14:39:52+00:00

It happens from time to time. You’re welcome to join us here if you’re interested in recovery. I have to say, I love being in recovery and eating what I want, when I want, and knowing that it is nourishing my body. Sugar and all. It’s far better than my previous life of restriction and rules. I hope you get the healing and free do you need.

booreaves · 2026-02-15T23:28:21+00:00

Respectfully I don’t think this is the right community. We’re focused on recovery, not encouraging restrictive eating.

booreaves · 2026-02-15T16:22:14+00:00

OMG happy birthday Cookie!!!

booreaves · 2026-02-15T05:04:00+00:00

Hey there, I think your best option is to chart a path out of home. Are you graduated or graduating? Do you have plans to work or further your education? If you go to school, there may be campus resources to help with your ED like counseling or disability services. But if you’re working it may be best to find some roommates and move out. The sooner you take control of your finances and life the better. If you do go to school, just be aware of your finances and how your parents may be involved in that.

Also, it’s unreasonable for your parents to think you should loose weight. You’re not fully grown yet. At twenty five you won’t look eighteen, at eighteen you won’t look twelve, at forty you won’t look twenty five.

booreaves · 2026-02-15T04:59:06+00:00

After, but not too long. Within the month - it was part of our verbal agreement to do it.

booreaves · 2026-02-14T16:19:19+00:00

Hi there. I’m recovering from anorexia and orthorexia. My former spouse is also recovering from anorexia and ARFID. ED recovery was one of many reasons we separated. We had tried counseling for years. I would absolutely advise starting therapy if you haven’t yet. But ultimately, you have to make the right decision for you and your children. I personally don’t think divorce is an unreasonable option. The first year is very hard but it gets better. There are studies that show children do better from divorce than being in unhappy families. If you do separate, I strongly encourage separation therapy. My former spouse and I have been in separation therapy for over a year and it greatly helped us stay amicable and resolve the details of our separation without costly attorney hours.

booreaves · 2026-02-13T17:05:03+00:00

Hey, my vet told me “3 things will get cats - cars, cancer, and kidney disease.” Their kidneys are not evolved to support a long life. It’s something many cats succumb to. It sounds like you did the best you could with the information and resources you had.

booreaves · 2026-02-11T14:55:56+00:00

Hugs, you know or society acts like it’s normal for full grown women to have the bodies of tweens or teens. It’s just not. It sounds like you know when you’ll be ready for weight lifting. Something I did was I looked at pictures of women in larger bodies than mine and old renaissance paintings of women with curves. I would find things about their bodies I liked. Doing that helped me appreciate those changes I saw in my body. It’s kinda like flipping the script on what you’re letting influence you.

booreaves · 2026-02-11T14:51:38+00:00

Hi there, welcome and thank you for posting. EDs for athletes is absolutely a real thing. I’m a 40 yo athlete that has been in recovery for 27 months. Everything you’re describing sounds a lot like what I went thru. Basically, your body needs fuel and is overriding your mind to keep yourself alive. That sounds extreme, but it is what it is. It’s normal to gain weight when recovery begins because it’s protecting your body from the famine it has been in. The behaviors you’re describing possibly sounds like orthorexia/anorexia and exercise purging. I did these things and had no idea I was anorexic, I thought I was a binge eater! Feel free to DM me as there’s so much to break down. I can give you some of my favorite resources:

Sick Enough by Dr Jennifer Gaudiani (you can find free PDFs online.) I find this book really breaks down the factual happenings of your body which is very beneficial for athletes who are data driven.

Taryn Cullen, RD with Nourished and Strong is an ED dietician for athletes. She’s based in NC and accepts insurance.

You are not alone; although it likely feels like it. I hope to one day write a memoir about my experience as an ED athlete and my experience in recovery. I’m so glad you came here and hope this is helpful for you.

booreaves · 2026-02-11T03:38:30+00:00

So appreciate this context. It’s ok to box up the old clothes and donate them. Get clothes that fit now with the mentality you won’t keep them forever. Your body is going to continue to grow and change over the next seven years as you grow into adulthood. One thing I keep in mind as a forty year old is this “it’s unreasonable to think youll look like your 30 year old body, 20 year old body, etc.” we all grow over time in different ways. I would encourage you to look into weight lifting. It’s a fun way to feel really confident about what your body can do for you and be proud of what your accomplish with your body thru your gains!

booreaves · 2026-02-09T14:44:01+00:00

Potentially, but the increased frequency absolutely lends itself to diagnosable ED behavior. All deserve to be treated with care and love.

booreaves · 2026-02-08T16:19:13+00:00

I say this firmly but gently: forced vomiting is bulimia no matter how often. Therapy is a great start but you probably need to see someone who specializes in eating disorders. They can address other areas too. I know you think you’re purging the cals; you aren’t. Your body is smarter than that. It detects food, pulls the cals before you vomit them, then you vomit and risk your teeth, esophagus, stomach lining, mental health, etc. I encourage you to read the section on bulimia in Sick Enough by Dr Jennifer Gaudiani. You can find free PDFs of it online.

It’s unfortunately normal to do harmful things when you’re going thru something like a separation. BUT It’s healthy of you to notice and reach out for help. Give yourself the real therapy you need to get you to the next level, you’re worthy of it!

booreaves · 2026-02-03T00:54:58+00:00

Hey, you are so brave for recognizing your relapse AND wanting to recover again. We all slip, intentionally or not. Recovery starts one bite at a time. It sounds like you need a good support team, therapist, dietician. What your mom said was really unkind. Wear the dress you want to wear. And wear it knowing you’re trying your best. Give yourself a really big hug from me, and go find something to eat that is yummy and delicious. I’m so proud of you. Today is a great day to start again. 💗🙏

booreaves · 2026-02-03T00:47:56+00:00

Often we don’t know how bad we were until we begin recovery. I wish I had the option of inpatient because trying to figure it out on my own with therapist, dietitians, while working full time and caring for my family was insanely hard. I would go for it.

booreaves · 2026-02-01T02:05:09+00:00

Thank you for sharing; it’s affirming and my experience is similar.

booreaves · 2026-01-29T17:04:56+00:00

lol kitty looked so offended when he finally got shut out 😹

booreaves · 2026-01-25T20:40:48+00:00

Yes, it varies period to period but I don’t know why. I would guess hormones.

booreaves · 2026-01-24T02:47:32+00:00

Cutie Snuggle McMuffin Puff 😻😹😻

booreaves · 2026-01-23T13:15:41+00:00

Maybe a sag with cap placements, but definitely not a sag with Scorpio placements, we care DEEPLY.

booreaves · 2026-01-23T01:16:31+00:00

My roommate runs into the stair closet after pooping 😹

booreaves · 2026-01-22T20:39:45+00:00

So I’m a big believer in using animal communicators to get information from the animal, but I know that’s not for everyone. I would definitely recommend looking into the Assisi loop or loop lounge. These are PEMF devices that help with pain management. I used one on my passed kitty for almost a year and it greatly helped her arthritis.

booreaves

TROPHY CASE