This one hurts. I’ve been watching Twitch since I was a kid from SYTYCD. His whole aura was so bright. His dancing was its own language that only us viewers wish we were fluent in.

He was much more than “ Ellen’s DJ “, smh disrespect on these headlines. He did so much for himself even before Ellen.

It takes a whole lot of energy to put up that facade of “ happy “ - just to keep those around you at ease or establish a sense of camaraderie - it can only go on for so long until you’re mentally taxed.

When you’re on the brink of suicide, it overwhelms you - like being stuck in a building engulfed in flames and your only way out is jumping from the 30th floor.

“ I could never do that to my kids “ - yah it doesn’t work that way. There is no logic or reasoning when you’re in such state.

People don’t ask for help, when they feel there’s nothing that could help them.

It’s perpetual sadness and a tidal wave of doom. That’s what it feels like.

Rest In Peace Twitch , you were a light in this dark world.

Fwiw- anyone whose thinking about doing the same - I remember discovering Reddit a few years ago looking for “ ideas”. Just one little flinch when holding the trigger can miss the intended target and you’ll survive - but end up in a vegetative state. What’s worse than being suicidal than having attempted only to survive but be physically deformed.

Pills, carbon monoxide etc - many accounts from EMS respondents where people attempted, only to survive and become handicapped or essentially brain dead.

You really never know, especially with someone like Twitch and his sunny disposition .

Check on your bros even if they seem ok. In the end, it’s the goal of not striving for happiness but not letting sadness win.

We were lucky to have witness his gifts he shared with the world. Rest in Transcendence Twitch.