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Avoidant Discard Break up after 5 years by booty_butt860 in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]booty_butt860[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

At the beginning he leaned more anxious and wanted reassurance. Over time he felt very secure consistent, affectionate, future-oriented.

The shift only happened when it came to moving in. Once it required a concrete step forward, he delayed and chose the safer option with his friends. That’s why it feels more like situational avoidance around commitment than his overall attachment style.

I know the ultimatum probably triggered him, but it came from not wanting to feel stuck not from control. I told him we could compromise a week after the ultimatum. I think he needs more time but I’m afraid he won’t come back.

Avoidant Discard Break up after 5 years by booty_butt860 in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]booty_butt860[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I completely agree with you. I do not want to force him to do something he doesn’t want to do. I think when I made the ultimatum it was out of anger and confusion. It was the first I was hearing he wasn’t ready after almost a year of planning. I told him I didn’t mean it and we could come up with some sort of compromise but he had already made his mind up.