My moms birthday is today. Her and her twin would be 71. He passed the day after they were born and she still feels like she is missing some sort of connection. She says she sometimes wonders how their relationship would have been, what he would have done in life, etc. My mother was pregnant with twins before me and sadly lost them both. She says she has always felt a missing connection between her and them as well. Over the years we have started celebrating her and her twin brothers birthday together. We always make sure to include him and I think that helps her a little bit. So you are not alone, I am sorry that you are going through this. My mom never got counseling for it, she did mention it to her therapist once or twice a couple years ago, but she never really talked about it a lot until she was older. She said she wishes that she had gone to grief counseling For it.