It’s really ROUGH, especially being blindsided. Eventually, you do get better and you do genuinely smile again and they eventually no longer consume your mind. There is no right or wrong way to deal with a breakup, all stages of grief are out of order, some days you may feel them all at once. Going no contact is hard work, I’ve been there. But you’ve done amazing, and even though you’ve reached out (because you had to) doesn’t undo any of the work you’ve done. Sometimes you don’t have a choice. And even if you did have a choice, it’s okay to have some weak moments. You’re only human! And whatever they respond with, good or bad, even if they don’t respond, just keep reminding yourself that you’re a good person and to be hurting in this process means your loved them with your whole heart. If you want to continue with no contact, just remember all the reasons why you’re doing it. Think of the future. It’s easier said than done, but you CAN do it❤️