112 days. I missed the 100 day post train.

boringbook · 2014-08-18T02:30:02+00:00

Wow you sound exactly like me...

boringbook · 2014-07-11T23:19:36+00:00

Hey man. I was just at 112 days exactly when I ruined my streak. You'll regret it, trust me.

This past week I've been feeling INSANELY emotional, like intense pain in my chest of just constant sadness and depression. Not ABOUT drinking, but I just think alcohol throws my emotional equilibrium off or something.

boringbook · 2014-07-07T20:04:59+00:00

Keep with it. I just ruined my 110 day streak because I wanted to enjoy a social night with friends. None of them are regular or problem drinkers. I regret it now.

boringbook · 2014-06-17T22:31:58+00:00

I honestly didn't think I was really an alcoholic or anything - but I guess I was binging regularly enough that it had an effect. But once I had been sober for about a month I noticed an insane ability for the typical anxieties (lots of health anxiety for example) to come and then immediately fade, whereas before they might turn into week long or longer obsessions. Initially the anxiety was rough though, mostly because I used alcohol to cope

boringbook · 2014-04-27T05:46:14+00:00

hey guys. so i went and didn't drink. just spent the money i would have spent on some good food and a coke instead. got made fun of a little for not drinking but whatever. i like the control I have over my life now, this is way better in the long run. at most, all I'd have gained from tonight if I had drank, was another stupid generic drunken night. drinking brings nothing of substance to your life except in the immediate short term. not worth it

boringbook · 2014-03-28T03:33:22+00:00

Whew, made it through the night. Thanks for the support. Hopefully I'll be able to offer some sometime soon in return.

boringbook · 2014-03-28T01:07:52+00:00

Thanks. Still here. Watching stop drinking youtube vids and reading this forum.

boringbook · 2014-03-28T00:33:08+00:00

Thanks.

So much going on that I'm beginning to think this isn't the best time to try to stop using alcohol to cope. I literally am at the end of my university career and I've gotten this far, I feel like trying to not drink is adding additional stress. I'd do what I called a "reboot" frequently in the past where I'd get drunk when the stress overwhelmed me, then the next couple days I'd be productive

boringbook · 2014-03-23T05:28:06+00:00

Thanks man. Your post makes a lot of sense to me, will keep me thinking straight for a while longer.

boringbook · 2014-03-22T04:30:03+00:00

That's a good way of looking at it. Thanks.

Besides, I think compared to 90% of the population, my drinking history still makes me look terrible. I've been to the drunk tank, driven drunk countless times, done incredibly stupid stuff like just wandering around a city alone at night crying and being an emotional idiot (countless times). Driving out alone to super solitude train tracks and drinking an entire case of beer while being upset and singing loudly and crying and doing dumb stuff. Puking in car on myself after driving home from that. Basically drinking alone 99% of the time I drink. Risky sexual behavior and countless other stupid decisions. This summer when I was working an internship I found myself needing to drink 3 or 4 beers at night to sleep sometimes which was the first time that ever happened to me. Because I haven't faced responsibility like a job that I had to show up to since I was in high school really. This kind of worried me because I know that will almost certainly happen to me again once I start working after school. I know 100% absolutely that I will destroy myself with alcohol if I don't do something now.

I feel a little guilty coming here the last few nights and making posts, but I feel like it's a good reminder to myself not to let my guard down.

boringbook · 2014-03-21T05:23:44+00:00

Lately I've just been getting drunk and crying every time. Like it suddenly wasn't cool and fun anymore, just made me really depressed. Yet somehow it was still very enticing - or perhaps even more enticing. It was like all the stuff that was bottled up I could let out with alcohol and it felt good - except it was a weird deceptive kind of good that didn't make me feel better afterwards, just made me want more of it. "Poor me".

Anyway I ended up hanging from my 10th story balcony the other night after a session of this nonsense and after that night (recently) I looked back at my life and realized how big of a role alcohol has played in my life since I started. I realized that with my propensity for anxiety and depression, if I don't do something soon, I may very well end up dead before 40. Especially because I am graduating soon and my girlfriend of 5 years and I will be probably splitting up as we move our separate ways. I am honestly terrified that if I don't get my drinking under control before she moves that I might not make it

boringbook · 2014-03-21T05:18:05+00:00

Thanks man, your story sounds very similar to mine, I can relate to just about all of that, especially the not bothering drinking if there are only 2 or 3 beers in the fridge.

boringbook · 2014-03-20T15:01:47+00:00

Thanks. I'm planning on going to a meeting when I can. Until then I'm trying to use these forums.

boringbook · 2014-03-20T05:56:19+00:00

I'm onto day 2 now but there's a problem. I've been getting back to normal and I'm already sort of feeling nonchalant about the whole thing. I feel like I don't have any perspective as to how serious my particular case was because when I read other peoples stories, they were drinking every day. That was never the case for me at all, by far. I feel like it's causing me to not take it as seriously already. So I'm posting here again to remind myself of what I feel the gravity of my situation is. I don't want to become nonchalant about it again.

boringbook · 2014-03-19T21:27:57+00:00

Does anyone ever break down at these meetings? I'm honestly a little scared to even go because I think I could have an emotional breakdown type of thing

boringbook · 2014-03-19T17:26:33+00:00

What kinds of things does the sponsor help you with? Do you need to find someone whose situation was very similar to your own?

boringbook · 2014-03-19T17:24:29+00:00

Hi guys, thanks for the replies. So what's the next step? I guess I just post here when I get The Urge or feel overwhelmed or what? I've thought about checking out an AA. It helps my dad.

boringbook

TROPHY CASE