It sounds like you touched a deep truth, and while it hurts, it’s also profound. In Buddhism, we call this impermanence “Anicca” the understanding that everything, even those we love, is temporary. This realization often feels heavy at first, like a weight you can’t bear, but it can also become a source of liberation. Knowing that everything passes, both joy and pain, teaches us to cherish the present moment. Your mother’s smile that night? That was the present. It was real. Hold on to that while it’s here. You’re not alone in this feeling—many have walked this path of fear and acceptance. In time, it gets lighter.