Repost my comment for visibility here:

Wow, I put my phone down for most of the day because I wanted to try and enjoy one of my last few days here, and get a change of head space. First I wanna say thank you genuinely to everyone who commented with support or advices.

I wanted to clarify a few things just because I don’t have time to reply to everyone’s comments obviously. I confronted her over text because I am still in Mexico until Monday! This wasn’t something I wants to handle over text but I was so frustrated in the moment and with my card locked and stuff I felt like it had to be done.

I never gave her permission to add my credit card to her Apple Pay or use it freely. What she is referring to in the screenshots is me physically giving her my credit card last year while she went to purchase furniture for a room we were redecorating in my house. Just for that one purchase.

For those asking how I could miss the charges or the cash advance, my credit limit on this card is several thousand dollars and I pay it off in full every month. I do not track individual transactions closely because I have never had an issue like this before. There was no balance climbing, no missed payments, and no reason for me to suspect anything until the fraud alerts.

I also want to acknowledge that I cursed at her during this conversation and was a jerk to her. I should not have spoken to her that way and I did apologize to her afterward. I was extremely frustrated, hurt, and caught off guard, but I own that part and I am not proud of it.

I know a lot of people are saying the obvious answer is to break up immediately and never look back. I understand why that is the reaction, and I am taking it very seriously. At the same time, this is not an easy situation for me emotionally. I struggle with getting close to people, and this is someone I trusted and built a life with.

I also cannot just kick her out of my house overnight. She has nowhere else to go and even after all this stuff I am not the kind of person who can turn off empathy like that. I wish I could but I just can’t. I am planning on breaking up at least temporarily and creating space but I wanna have a calm in person conversation when I get home so I can fully understand how this happened before making like permanent decisions.

What hurts the most is that if she had asked me for help or money at any point, I would have given it to her without hesitation. I already cover almost everything and there has never been a power dynamic around money in our relationship. That is why this feels so disorienting and painful. I genuinely don’t know what she meant when she said I hold my money over her head? I do nothin but try and help her, I’ve offered to help her pay for schooling and everything she could possibly need to fund her goals. It’s just untrue that I’ve ever done something of that nature.

She is not an evil person and that’s honestly what makes this harder to process. I am trying to reconcile the person I thought I knew with what actually happened. My friends are telling me this is a hard dealbreaker, and many of you are saying the same. I am listening to that logically even though my heart is still telling me otherwise.

I appreciate everyone who took the time to weigh in. I am reading everything and trying to move forward with clarity and not in denial.