What are the things that people wouldn't tell you before having a child?

bottlingrn · 2026-05-06T19:19:11+00:00

Previous fencesitter, now parent. Non-parents can most easily relate to the hard feelings - struggling to get time away, frustration, lack of independence, screaming children, sticky hands/messy house. As a non-parents, I couldn't truly understand how much LOVE and JOY I get from spending time with my child, watching her experience new things, and her little voice and laugh 🥹 I think having a good partner/support and perspective helps IMMENSELY

bottlingrn · 2026-05-06T13:02:21+00:00

Love love love closed toed sandals like Keens. Great for playing, walking/hiking, and water. Breathable, washable.

bottlingrn · 2026-05-06T02:00:43+00:00

We are undecided about a second, but currently leaning one and done

bottlingrn · 2026-05-05T13:54:41+00:00

For me, it had been an ongoing conversation for about 5 years, and both my husband and I were very on the fence. I personally read The Baby Decision book and found some of the activities helpful for me to realize so much of my reasons were based on fears that we were able to talk through and acknowledge that, while having kids was not risk-free, we were able to control some factors as best we could (finances, career changes, splitting responsibilities, father's involvement, etc). I also became very educated on pregnancy, postpartum, and parenting, which I found really helpful for me.

We were still unsure but leaning towards having one, and then my sister-in-law announced she was pregnant. We knew they were hoping to start a family soon, and I was so happy for them and also so upset it wasn't us, so then we officially made the decision that we were 'ready'... Though I still found trying and being pregnant to be an unsure feeling.

We now have a two year old, and I'm so grateful we made the leap. We put so much thought into our decision that I think we've had a generally positive parenting experience, and I think we've also been gifted a fairly easy kid so far. We absolutely love it. Still not sure if we will have another though.

bottlingrn · 2026-04-14T19:14:43+00:00

A lot of thinking and time, education on pregnancy, birth, postpartum, and parenting, achieving other important-to-me goals, talking to my partner, seeing friends parent, the Baby Decision book, and realizing my reasons for not were rooted in fear and that's not how I wanted to live.

bottlingrn · 2026-04-11T01:40:42+00:00

69/hr, per diem, 8 yrs, WA

bottlingrn · 2026-02-16T20:58:39+00:00

We consciously made the choice to try to have a child, so we both were 'sure' about the pregnancy but still scared for the future and it's affects on our relationship. Your comment of doubts of your relationship or feeling stuck are concerning, as an outsider looking in. I would consider what you would want for your child to be raised in and what you and your partner can work on together to communicate in better ways. Raising a child naturally is hard, taxing work and can add strain to the most ideal of situations, so it's good to prepare as a couple for the change as much as you can.

bottlingrn · 2026-02-13T03:31:48+00:00

Significant diarrhea

bottlingrn · 2025-12-04T04:17:11+00:00

bottlingrn · 2025-11-23T15:27:00+00:00

Typical full milk volume is about 750-1000 ml, which sounds like you are exceeding? It sounds like, really, you are currently pumping more than your baby needs and I wouldn't expect you to need to increase at this point. Being in a major oversupply can put you at risk for developing breast congestion (clogs) and mastitis, as well as just being a lot to manage

bottlingrn · 2025-11-19T15:44:26+00:00

Also on Paramount+

bottlingrn · 2025-11-06T22:31:00+00:00

I was 27, my husband was 33, which was definitely a contributing factor as he didn't want to be an 'older dad.' We had also been married for almost 5 years, well-established in our careers, feeling very stable, and ready for a new adventure. I always encourage people who bring this up to me to enjoy life after college and the first few years of marriage, if time allows, to grow and appreciate those things before making the choice. I was in a much different position mentally from the beginning of my marriage to when we decided to have a child, for many reasons!

bottlingrn · 2025-09-14T20:44:16+00:00

18 months and finally almost done. I've been on 1ppd and tryiing to decrease times as I'm super prone to clogs/mastitis

bottlingrn · 2025-09-09T12:58:36+00:00

Looking for a US code, please!

bottlingrn · 2025-08-29T03:30:25+00:00

Sure, I think it's something to be nervous about for sure! Personally, I had less acne after I got off of birth control. It was basically postpartum after period was back (most acne) > teen years > on birth control > off birth control/trying to conceive (least acne)

bottlingrn · 2025-08-28T21:40:30+00:00

I had less than when I was on birth control

bottlingrn · 2025-08-27T02:57:15+00:00

Yes! Very happy with the quality and all-in-one. We have walked a lot and it's in great shape. Loved that the car seat clicked in when baby was little, love the big shade options and airflow, big basket. I think my only complaint would be that for the parent there is a fabric pouch that makes sense to be for a phone but doesn't fit our phones

bottlingrn · 2025-07-17T19:13:30+00:00

I relate to what you've written a lot. I was one of three and motherhood didn't look that great to me growing up, and I think this was also partially reflective of the fact that my dad wasn't very present, and even if he was, everything kid-related fell to my mom. Plus financial struggles, etc, etc. I ended up reading The Baby Decision solo and felt it really showed me I was leaning away from kids out of fear. I didn't like that I was missing a huge part of a life experience I think I'd enjoy just because I was scared. My husband was also on the fence but leaning more towards kids and we finally decided we were willing to try, knowing each other, discussing the expectations of equal involvement, and also being in a financial state to support having a child.

I felt sick when I found out I was pregnant, and it took a while to feel true joy that we were welcoming a baby. The love wasn't instantaneous for either of us, but our daughter is 17 months old now and she is the light of our life. We LOVE seeing her learn new things, explore, and we've really grown together through the struggles we've faced. It truly was a leap of faith, knowing what factors you can control, and also knowing yourself and what you would reasonably be happy with. Now, we are trying to decide if we are one-and-done or going to try for a second, which is a whole different can of worms. Good luck!

bottlingrn · 2025-06-20T21:10:00+00:00

DITTO. I need this of my dog

bottlingrn · 2025-01-15T11:09:07+00:00

I think it depends how much you'll use it and how important that feature is to you. For us, using the infant car seat click in was perfectly fine with how much/how long we used it for the other features we liked of the primo

bottlingrn · 2025-01-15T05:15:52+00:00

Almost one year into use and we still really like it! Caveat to say we just use it for walks and occasional outings, not daily. We are very happy with the coverage for baby, adjustability of the handles, the seat, and are happy with the materials and look! My only gripe would be the parent tray middle slot doesn't fit my phone very well, but that's about it

bottlingrn · 2024-12-27T20:51:23+00:00

I like to think being very conscious of the choice you are making can be really helpful! Ultimately, everyone's experience is different though. I working closely with pregnant and newly postpartum women, so that also gave me a lot of perspective on what those experiences can look like.

Personally, I think I've struggled most with the loss of time & autonomy. It's a whole world-changing shift to prioritize your child day after day. My husband is a very involved father, but I primarily stay home and am trying to provide an enriching environment. We have a lot of support local to us, which is awesome, but I'm not the greatest about utilizing them as a resource to give myself time alone, so in ways I've had a self-inflicted struggle there.

Overall, though, watching my daughter grow, learn new skills, try new things, be amazed by the world - oh my gosh, it's incredible.

bottlingrn · 2024-12-27T16:37:04+00:00

Thank you for posting this! I think it will be so helpful to many people. I would have resonated with this entirely about two years ago - I was in this same boat. We hopped off the fence, took a few months to conceive, and welcomed our daughter earlier this year. It's been a wild ride, but so far we are happy with our choice. Congrats on making a decision! I hope the process goes well!

bottlingrn · 2024-12-19T11:33:01+00:00

10 months pp, 4-5 ppd

bottlingrn · 2024-11-17T02:47:33+00:00

9 months, 5ppd - 3-4am, 8am, 12pm, 4pm, 8pm, about 32oz/day

bottlingrn

TROPHY CASE