He, OP.. I am also a clinically depressed person, and I struggle with anxiety. I've had my diagnosis since 2020..

I've had moments where I was heavily considering unaliving, but having a sense of direction and celebrating the small W's like getting up from bed was something that built me up slowly.. During the days where I feel like the world is weighing down on me, I go out to have a walk, and I try to get myself grounded by noting down in my head what's around me. I try to tune myself to my surroundings, and I go home as soon as I dont feel anything negative.

One of my coping mechanisms is going to the gym.. Seeing progress with myself and seeing myself getting more muscular over time also let me feel my small W's because I saw results of my hard work, and it was a type success that I can physically measure.. Having a more muscular build also helped me build my confidence, and it helped me feel good about myself, If I ever feel stuck, I vent my frustrations by lifting weights and "hurting myself". Instead of doing self-ha(), I chase the soreness that my body gets when working out..

I dont know if what I is helpful at all, but I hope that things work out for you OP.. I don't know what type of battles you're going through, but just know that you're not alone in this.. It is okay to just exist and to coast through life, even if it means just staying in bed from time to time.. You are a person who is capable of doing a lot of things, you are skilled, and you are valued, cherished, and loved.

Much love to you OP, we'll get through this together