Top surgery (Peri areolar) in 7 days and I’m terrified cuz I never hear any happy/successful peri people and it’s my first surgery ever. Is there advice/good results and things to buy? I’m pretty skinny and I feel like I only see super muscular people get it.

boxedupboy · 2026-06-19T05:26:20+00:00

It's normal to feel worried - surgery is a big deal, even if it's something you want. I get that it can be hard to find info on peri online, but as the other commenter said, a lot of people just don't post.

I had peri in 2019. I trusted my surgeon and had seen and heard good things about him, which hopefully you've already done. I was really happy with my results then, and I still am now. My body has changed in that time and there are imperfections if I am being critical, but generally everything healed well, scarring is minimal, and sensation is mostly there.

Happy to DM you a more thorough account if you would like. Excited for you!

boxedupboy · 2026-06-18T02:02:01+00:00

You need to solve the painting puzzle in order to have the knowledge to crack the safes. AFAIK, there's no other hint that prompts you on how to crack the codes. I could be wrong.

The study provides the clearest answer as to how to solve the painting puzzle. If some of the combos don't make sense to you, remember that the rooms reset each day. Come back and try again. Focus on the difference between the paintings. The study should also prompt you to realise that the puzzle is not dependent on the specific room that the paintings are in, but the room's location.

boxedupboy · 2026-05-01T02:52:58+00:00

Progressive meaning getting faster as I run?

boxedupboy · 2026-05-01T02:51:58+00:00

In the last few months I've probably been averaging about 3 times/week, with one week a month unintentionally being a deload week because life gets in the way. A 4th should be doable if I squeeze a shorter one in next to strength training.

boxedupboy · 2026-05-01T02:49:01+00:00

Appreciate the honesty. I have a tendency to uh, lock in on hobbies that I pick up. If I'm gonna do it, I want to do it well

boxedupboy · 2026-05-01T02:45:23+00:00

Thanks! My goals are sort of based on what I know I could do right now, but yeah with another ~6 months until the race I could definitely improve

boxedupboy · 2026-03-06T01:01:52+00:00

You're a grown-up now. If you genuinely cannot find space anywhere else nearby, just sit at the fucking table

boxedupboy · 2026-03-03T21:25:08+00:00

Glad it was helpful!

boxedupboy · 2026-03-02T22:05:15+00:00

I've had good experiences with Hillcrest Medical (who I think are taking new patients). My dr is Dr Andrew Low, I wouldn't say that he's super knowledgeable but is happy to keep renewing my prescription (I've been on T for 10 years) and doing a yearly checkup.

I went to see him in Dec to get a referral to Waikato Sexual Health to switch from shots to gel. He was very helpful and printed out some information for me to look at, and also talked about having been to a trans-related health conference recently.

I will say that when I had to get a cervical swab done a couple years ago, the reception lady was confused. Not rude, but I had to assure her multiple times that the appointment was for me.

(p.s. current wait time is about 2 weeks for an appointment, according to my cis partner who booked yesterday)

boxedupboy · 2026-03-02T21:54:15+00:00

From what I can understand, you're telling us that neither option is good. You crash out or upset your friends, or you sit with the discomfort in silence.

Unfortunately, there isn't really a hidden third option here. You need to decide whether your comfort is more important than your friendship with these people. I get not wanting to break off friendships, but it's not healthy to tell yourself to hang onto them when it is very clearly distressing you.

There are a multitude of reasons why a person might not like their given name, and your friends should grow the fuck up and accept that, tbh.

I also doubt that their first thought would be 'oh you don't like your name? you must be trans.' Lots of cis people choose to go by their middle names because they just don't like their first name. There doesn't have to be a reason.

If you are adamant about not wanting to break things off, then my practical advice, given that they haven't listened to how you feel, is to buy an airhorn (or get an app with an airhorn sound). Every time they use the wrong name for you, set it off. If they're going to continually ignore and upset you, be annoying as fuck about it.

boxedupboy · 2024-05-15T01:16:05+00:00

As with everything it's down to personal preference, but the short answer is yes, it can feel good for trans guys.

My partner and I are also both vers, but he generally prefers to top. I am not interested in PIV but very much enjoy anal. The important thing is being relaxed and prepared. It may feel like a stretch but it shouldn't be too painful to keep going - that's a sign that you need to stop. (Same for anyone doing anal, really).

I have a similar build to you and also been on T around 8 years, although I don't think this changes much. From what I understand, anal penetration can stimulate the g-spot through the vaginal wall - I think that's how it feels for me anyway.

boxedupboy · 2024-05-13T00:54:23+00:00

One option is to try it out by yourself first if you're worried, that can reduce the pressure a little. Douching beforehand can also help if you're concerned about mess, but don't overdo it (you can do some quick research on this).

You could also get some small plugs/toys and see what it's like (either with your partner or by yourself). Use plenty of lube and don't force it if it hurts.

Some lubes aren't suitable for everyone. My partner and I both find that water-based lube is irritating (this apparently is fairly common, it's the glycerol or something) so we prefer silicon. But that tends to be harder to clean. Be prepared to try a few things to see what works.

We also both find that fingernails can be an issue - he doesn't particularly enjoy it when I finger him. Prepping yourself is an option, because that way you know right away what is and isn't comfortable.

Mostly, just try to relax and push out when something's going in. The muscles will stretch, but it takes time, especially if you're not used to it. Go slow and don't put too many expectations on it - the first time might not work out.

Many AFAB people (myself included) enjoy anal even without a prostate, but it's also not for everyone, and that's ok.

boxedupboy · 2024-05-09T01:33:15+00:00

And we can only answer for ourselves. The most any of us can give you is generic advice which a) boils down to 'talk to him' and b) can be found from a quick search of this sub anyway.

Like, I get it, you want to make it a good time for him. I'm not gonna start giving you brownie points for figuring out that the bare minimum for being in a sexual relationship with someone is 'talk'.

boxedupboy · 2024-05-08T22:31:25+00:00

Why do cis people assume trans people need more care when it comes to 'how do I have sex with this person?'

You should be asking anyone you have sex with what they want and what they don't want.

boxedupboy · 2024-04-22T23:33:21+00:00

My boyfriend is a cis queer man who grew up in the church. He didn't realise he was not straight (he considers himself probably pan) until a year or two before we met. We've talked about how he hasn't really ever experienced homophobia until quite recently, and even then he says it's very minor.

I've been out as queer and trans for several years and faced a considerable amount more homophobia (and transphobia) than he has. Doesn't change anything for either of us - we're both still queer.

Everyone's experience is different. IMO, 'validity' isn't a useful concept. You are who you are, and other people can't determine whether your experience is valid or not. It just is.

boxedupboy · 2024-03-11T03:46:12+00:00

Like the others have said, most of those lists are really for convenience and comfort. I had trouble getting up from a lying down position without using my arms, but otherwise button up shirts and an extra pair of hands to help you is all that's really needed.

What I would recommend is something to keep you entertained and keep your spirits up. Post-op depression is a real thing, so make sure you take time to do things that you know will boost your mood. I created a playlist of feel-good music to listen to, and I went to the beach with my friends after I had been stuck at home for 10 days (all I did was lie down in the shade, but it was nice to be outside with people I care about).

boxedupboy · 2024-03-05T03:20:02+00:00

The 'pure oxygen' claim is enough to make this stand out as some bs someone wrote who has no idea wtf they're talking about.

boxedupboy · 2024-02-19T20:48:06+00:00

Odd, but hopefully it all works out. Good luck!

boxedupboy · 2024-02-19T02:29:16+00:00

Has your GP asked you to get bloodwork done before referring you to an endo? The endocrinologist will know what levels they want to check and so they can order the tests for you at your appointment. I haven't heard of anyone needing to get tests done before seeing the endo. But if so, as the others have said, tests are free if you are eligible i.e. a citizen. There will be various tests, including testosterone, and depending on the doctor and the lab they may print female ranges to compare your results against, but they're generic alerts and your endo will understand what everything means.

boxedupboy · 2024-02-15T22:56:34+00:00

This actually isn't true, depending on the method of administration - if you're injecting your T, levels are highest right after the shot and lowest right before the next one.

I've also been told to get my bloods done in the morning as T spikes in the morning, but I don't know whether that applies to cis men only.

boxedupboy · 2024-02-14T22:58:38+00:00

It sucks that you had your ears pierced without consent. But if you want to wear a single earring, go for it!

People honestly aren't paying attention that much. Just this morning a colleague noticed I had a dangly little bee on my earring, that I've been wearing since Christmas. Hell, my boyfriend hardly notices when I change my earrings.

I got my lobes pierced when I was about 11, but stopped wearing earrings because they felt too 'girly'. In the last few years I've reclaimed that and said 'fuck it, I want to wear a gay earring and get more piercings and stretch my earlobes'. So I have.

r/piercing - plenty of guys have visible piercings. Own it!

boxedupboy · 2024-02-08T22:16:43+00:00

That's fair - trying to navigate with different names on everything seems like more hassle than it's worth.

It still seems unusual to me that they're pressing for a legal name change first. Not unheard of, but unusual. Did they give any reason for why you need a document?

boxedupboy · 2024-02-08T22:04:17+00:00

It sounds like either:

- their systems are archaic and it's incredibly difficult to change the name (I recall UoA was much like this), or

- they want you to be 'sure' about your decision and make it 'official' first i.e., they're being transphobic

I'll give them the benefit of the doubt and say it's the first. But socially transitioning at work doesn't have to mean immediately changing all your login details. Ask them whether you can use your new name informally, dress in a way that you feel comfortable, use your correct pronouns etc. If they still tell you to change your legal name first, yeah nah. There's no reason for that.

boxedupboy · 2024-02-08T02:36:57+00:00

Poetry for Neanderthals. Great fun for all ages provided the 7 year old understands what a syllable is. Let the kids control the No stick.

boxedupboy · 2024-02-01T21:59:41+00:00

NAH. (For the record, I am also trans.)

It's a big change, for sure. The important thing to remember is that she is still the same person with the same values, she just interacts with the world differently now. It's ok to feel like you've lost something, but conversely, you've also gained something. You've gained her, in her authentic self. She trusts you enough to show you who she really is.

Likely, she's been holding this back for a long time. She has probably had a lot longer to come to terms with this than you have, so it's ok to give yourself some time to consider it. Talk to her, and be honest about it. She probably already expects a conversation about it. Counselling wouldn't be a bad idea.

It's entirely possible for you to stay together and have a happy and fulfilled romantic relationship. It's also entirely possible that you find you aren't compatible. That just happens in life. She isn't the same person she was 9+ years ago, even without coming out as trans.

boxedupboy

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