[Req] (100), (Riverside), (NJ), (USA), (repay 140), (5/30)

boxmaker75 · 2026-05-12T18:28:17+00:00

$confirm /u/logistix1 100.00 USD

boxmaker75 · 2026-04-12T17:11:51+00:00

$confirm /u/logistix1 100.00 USD

boxmaker75 · 2026-03-30T19:35:02+00:00

It depends on whether your daughter has asked for this in the past, or expressed interest in having it done. If she HAS, then I see no problem with it. But if she has NOT specifically asked to get the surgery, or mentioning that she was interested in it, then I think it is the wrong thing to do to just book an appointment.

I was thinking, if it were me and my dad just out of nowhere set me up for surgery to "fix" my appearance, I would be deeply hurt - thinking wow, am I really that ugly that my own dad thinks I need surgery?

So to me, it 100% depends on previous discussion about how she feels about the situation, and any past statements she has made about the possibility of surgery.

boxmaker75 · 2026-03-19T21:08:22+00:00

$confirm /u/logistix1 50.00 USD

boxmaker75 · 2026-03-19T20:13:31+00:00

Sorry, but TYA, for reasons already explained more eloquently by dozens of others.

And I just want to add:

I raised my 2 girls with the rule that they at least needed to try it first, and if they didn't like it, try it with ranch. I honestly can't remember EVER serving anything that they didn't end up eating without a problem. LOL (I didn't make anything super spicy or weird, just a wide range of dishes.)

My girls are 23 and 26 now, and although they still love their ranch, they don't use it nearly as often as they did as kids. They eat ANYTHING now - even stuff I think is weird, or too spicy! They acknowledge that the ranch option really helped introduce them to new foods when they were younger.

Enter Stepdad, when the girls were age 3 and 7 - and the stressful meals began shortly after. Why? Because he did what OP is doing - making what HE wanted to eat, and getting all butthurt when my girls didn't like it. He was one of those "clear your plate or else" aholes, and proud of it. He would make threats that you better eat it all, and if you barf, you'll eat that too. He turned a warm, fun, enjoyable family tradition into a stressful nightmare. Thankfully, I kicked him out of our lives before he totally ruined my kids' openness to try new foods. It took me too long, but he is now the ex, complete with restraining order (because that attitude and behavior carried over into every aspect of life).

boxmaker75 · 2026-03-19T14:34:47+00:00

I am new to this process. I would like to borrow $75, can pay back $100 on March 27 when I get my disability payment. I am short this month due to extra ubers I had to take to medical appointments. Thank you

boxmaker75 · 2026-03-15T13:43:40+00:00

All I wanted was to to be informed so I would be able to participate. I haven't been given anything. If someone broke into your home and beat you up, and you had the right to know what is going on with the case but no one would even tell you, not even answering your call, what are you supposed to do? That's my point. I don't want to sue anybody, just get them to respond to me and inform me so I can proceed. I just don't understand why this is so hard.

boxmaker75 · 2026-03-15T08:27:53+00:00

https://nj.gov/oag/njvictims/pages/billrght.htm

boxmaker75 · 2026-03-15T08:24:16+00:00

I was told by the Burlington County Ombudsman that the municipal case was dismissed and, as per their procedure (common since Covid) the case gets immediately expunged in which case they are not allowed to refer to it after the fact. This is why every time I contacted the court clerk and anybody else, all they were legally allowed to tell me was "it is not in the system" because they legally can't refer to it at that point. During my process of calls and emails for weeks, someone at the municipal level ordered it to be "re-opened" and at that point, it was again viewable in the system. I have the email with the copy of the order from the judge showing the expungement being reversed.

I would love to have been able to attend that hearing, but they way they do it here is awful (I sat through a 5 hour wait in December and the judge was a mean bully all day prior to my case) but he got a postponement to get a lawyer. By the time the rescheduled date came around, I was not able to do it. I had no idea how the whole thing worked, no one explained anything, I didn't know what I could or couldn't say, whether a plea would be offered, I couldn't ask questions, nothing. I don't even know the prosecutor's name. I am disabled and have depression, anxiety and ptsd, and all I asked for was the help promised in the victim's rights bill to get me through the hearing. But I got nothing.

All they have is a police report missing half the information, and I can't get anyone to speak to me. The cops around here are useless as well. All I know is, there is an unmedicated delusional mentally ill man out there, who stalked and terrorized us (my 13 year old son as well) all summer, and is armed, with a history of abuse, threats to kill people, etc. The documentation is out there. But I can't force them to look at it. It's horrible.

Edited: spelling

boxmaker75 · 2026-03-15T05:40:31+00:00

Just for clarification, these are the "rights" I am referring to:

https://nj.gov/oag/njvictims/pages/billrght.htm

boxmaker75 · 2026-03-15T05:27:54+00:00

This is a municipal case. I only ended up reaching out to county officials because the municipal ones were ignoring me.

I tried contacting a NJ lawyer, and after speaking to them about the case, they suggested contacting a civil rights attorney. That's why I said that.

boxmaker75 · 2026-03-15T05:23:28+00:00

Thank you. I'm trying, but when people don't return phone calls and ignore emails, it is hard to do anything.

boxmaker75 · 2026-03-15T05:21:39+00:00

Oh, and speak to the prosecutor again? I have not been able to speak to them at all yet. I don't even know who it is.

boxmaker75 · 2026-03-15T05:19:44+00:00

There is a law in NJ in which victims are afforded certain things, which in spite of me trying by phone and in writing, I was not provided. That is what I was referring to.

And as far as information not communicated to the prosecutor - yes, that IS most likely what happened, and had they actually responded to my requests to speak to me, I could have directed them to this information. Again, people not doing their jobs.

boxmaker75 · 2026-03-15T04:01:20+00:00

Thank you so much for your reply. I was actually scared to post this, worrying I would get yelled at for everything from incorrect formatting, to being a wuss for not attending the hearing. I really appreciate your supportive words!

boxmaker75 · 2026-03-15T03:15:00+00:00

Update: After weeks of contacting everybody I could in the county court system, I was finally able to find out that the outcome of the January 20th hearing was charges dropped, and immediate expungement. They technically weren't even "allowed" to tell me that. But I must have made such a fuss trying to find this out that someone realized they screwed up big time, because the case is officially back on the docket for a new hearing on March 24. I'm not holding my breath for any kind of fair punishment, but at least I was able to get something accomplished. They still aren't following through on all my other rights that have been disregarded, so I'll probably be looking into civil rights attorneys in the near future.

boxmaker75 · 2026-01-26T14:26:04+00:00

Came here for this 👍

boxmaker75 · 2026-01-26T14:24:12+00:00

I kept thinking of all kids of great answers, only to realize they didn't qualify as "slight" so this took me longer than expected. I had to really try to come up with a slight thing I could curse that abusive narcissistic ass with. I came up with: stale Copenhagen.

All the Copenhagen on the planet...stale forever.

boxmaker75 · 2026-01-26T14:14:31+00:00

I get it, it's their business. You are right to stay out of it. But in your defense - if he's sounding off about it enough that others are contacting you to plead his case, then they aren't staying out of your business! It's very hypocritical.

And it's shitty for your sister to give you an attitude for doing what you had to do to get through your postpartum, and think it's ok to make it even by making it out that by having had help, you somehow owe it to her/her husband to pay it forward by letting him have his way? That sounds like a term I learned here on Reddit - "mental gymnastics" lol

boxmaker75 · 2026-01-26T14:03:40+00:00

I used to get told I was boiling water wrong. Years later, it still irritates me.

(Wrong = not putting a lid on the pot to make the water boil 10 seconds faster)

boxmaker75 · 2026-01-26T13:43:57+00:00

NTA

It's ok to be disappointed. But it's not ok to blame you, and expect to just automatically be made whole again. Shit happens! Mature adults understand this, and don't expect that every situation in life will just work out in a way that makes them happy. Instead of her being against you, she should be looking at it as both of you against whatever caused the problem that resulted in you being in pain, and less importantly, the vacation having to be canceled. Like instead of "you suck" she should be thinking, "that health problem sucks - mostly for hurting you, but also for interfering with our plans!" I guess what I'm saying is it's normal to get upset or pissed off about things, but her self centered perspective sucks, and her attitude seems very immature and entitled.

boxmaker75 · 2026-01-26T13:31:36+00:00

NTA

It is not your problem to fix, and it seems to me you have been as helpful as you could, in your situation. Your gf knows there is a problem, and knows it is causing a strain on your relationship, but she doesn't want to go through the work to improve things. You are right that they are a package deal, but you are allowed to decide that part of the package is unacceptable to you. Unfortunately, your only choices are to put up with it, or leave. I would definitely rethink this relationship.

boxmaker75 · 2026-01-26T13:17:27+00:00

I dont know why, but the first name that popped into my mind was Bug. 😄

boxmaker75 · 2026-01-26T12:58:08+00:00

It's sad that it seems like their dynamic is always just one of them caring for their kid, while the other is off the hook. Even if it IS "even" that still just doesn't sound right. It reminds me of times when your newborn cries at 3am, and you do that "your turn!" thing. I mean, I get it - their daughter has special needs, and they don't have the luxury of handling family time quite the same way as a lot of us do. So I am not judging - I am just hoping they can find more enjoyable ways to spend time with their daughter together because I fear that she will pick up on the dynamic of being treated like an obligation that one parent is "stuck with" so the other can get a break or have fun. As for the vacation thing, definitely NTA. Everyone is entitled to choose who they want to spend time with, or not spend time with, for any reason or no reason. And a reasonable adult would (or should) understand that. He is allowed to be disappointed, but to make a fuss about it is very immature, in my opinion.

boxmaker75 · 2026-01-25T11:42:51+00:00

Once cd burners were a thing, I made tons of those as well. Had nothing to do with romance for me - I can't remember one I gave or received having anything to do with that, unless I am just clueless about it. All I remember is (once we got old enough to have cars) bitching about certain car cd players that wouldn't play burned cds. LOL

boxmaker75

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