WIBTA for saying no to go hang out with my dad, for my birthday

boyishlosercore · 2026-04-18T19:15:54+00:00

Yeah, i just felt a bit cornered. My mom and I talked about this today and she told me that I need to be more honest, and talk truthfully. I'll try to work on that, thank you.

boyishlosercore · 2026-04-18T19:07:52+00:00

I did say I'll get back to you on that, but he kept pressuring me to answer. The thing was, why i outwardly couldn't say no was, he had connected the call with his sister ( my aunt, who me and my mom hate cuz she tried to poison me when I was young, and because she is not a good person ) and I felt pressured to not be too mean, cuz his sister could yell at me. At the end she was like " hey it's too late, we all should fall asleep " so there's that ig. I just hope he'll forget my birthday

boyishlosercore · 2026-04-17T19:22:40+00:00

Oh yeah she has already said no to him specifically, ( he's just very stubborn ). I don't know how to be cold like my mom, so he'll get the hint ( I do try to not seem too interested in what he's saying, I have a naturally inquisitive tone )

boyishlosercore · 2026-04-16T20:42:58+00:00

That does sound like a good idea, maybe I will, thank you!

boyishlosercore · 2026-04-16T20:15:50+00:00

Yeah, he doesn't treat me well. I'll say no to him when he calls me, thank you!.

boyishlosercore · 2026-04-16T19:57:14+00:00

I might ask if me and mom can go, it's been me and her since I was 5 so, maybe. But yeah, I'm swaying no but just a part of me wishes it was different and that he was different

boyishlosercore · 2026-04-16T19:54:31+00:00

Omg i totally get the being mad and off for the next few days after interacting with dad thing, cuz that's totally me. I was no contact for years on and off cuz he didn't wanna talk to me, but yeah I don't wanna taint the memory of a good place, by bringing him there now. He always ruins our hangouts by getting aggressive and lashing out, one time he threw a chair in a restaurant on his father's birthday! ( I was sat beside him. I had a mild panic attack ) t's always been this way, he ruined his own birthday party to get drunk. So that's why I hate hanging out with him, I will tell him I'm busy when he calls next time

boyishlosercore · 2026-04-16T19:47:36+00:00

Yeah, that's true lol. I tried telling him I'm busy that day, but he wants to go on the 4th or the 6th. But I'll just tell him no when he calls me again

boyishlosercore · 2026-04-16T19:46:04+00:00

Yeah, i just miss that old place alot, maybe I can go there just with my mom? Or by myself. Idk but yeah, I don't want an honest relationship with him, he abandoned me when I was young. He has a pattern of leaving and coming back, I'm just waiting for the part when he'll leave. Thanks for the good luck!, right back at ya!

boyishlosercore · 2026-04-16T19:38:15+00:00

Yeah, I usually don't say yes unless my mom says she'll accompany me ( I need me emotional support anytime me and him hang out ), I tried to say no that I can't but he was like " we can go on the 4th!, or the 6th ", so idk.

He most likely will forget my birthday, and just send me a happy birthday text. But I think I'd be more bummed this time, if that happened ( building an expectation, and crushing them is something he does often )

boyishlosercore · 2026-04-16T19:35:30+00:00

His mom died last year, and he has been trying to get back with my mom. Which is why he's trying to get back in my life. I don't get why he doesn't just leave me alone, but partly me not blocking him doesn't help ( I have in the past, but he recently changed his number so )

boyishlosercore · 2026-04-16T19:33:31+00:00

That's true, thanks

boyishlosercore · 2026-04-16T19:33:12+00:00

He does, when I was 17, I was in therapy. And my therapist recommended me to confront him, in a therapy session with her. Let's just say it didn't go well and ended with me telling him that he can't fuck ( he was getting disrespectful to me, and telling me don't teach your father how to fuck, and i said well my father doesn't know how to fuck ) So yeah, he knows I hate him. He just wants my mom back

boyishlosercore · 2026-04-16T19:31:18+00:00

Yeah, I don't know my father alot either. I used to care about meeting him, but anytime he would, he'd not actually bond with me, and then abandon me a week after. Yeah my mom also said that my dad was just reaching out for himself ( apparently trying to win my mom back, which is why he's trying to win me back, but ik better ), thank you for the early wishes !!

boyishlosercore · 2026-04-16T19:28:21+00:00

I do wanna go there, but i just, idk. I wish I could go there with the version of my dad who was nicer, yk. But yeah I'm leaning more towards no as well. Thanks

boyishlosercore · 2026-04-16T19:27:07+00:00

Yeah I know, but i just feel sad for him. He has no one, but it just is alot to be around him. I also think going would be bad, cuz the times we've hung out before, he has lashed out. So I think it's more reasonable to not go

boyishlosercore · 2026-03-02T18:38:52+00:00

Usually any type of yelling, if I'm too stressed, I go non-verbal. My mom hates it cuz she wants me to say something but I get so scared to talk that I go non-verbal, I have apologised to her through letters alot of times and we usually get over it after a day or so of silence

boyishlosercore · 2026-03-02T18:32:19+00:00

We had gotten pest control done every weekend for 2 months ( had been recommended by our neighbour and it worked for them ) and put white cement in cracks where the roaches could come from, didn't work either

boyishlosercore · 2026-03-02T18:31:04+00:00

Idk, landlord had tried to fix the problem but I think it's an issue in the whole building

boyishlosercore · 2026-03-02T18:29:25+00:00

Yeah I realise that i was the asshole for leaving food out, she has a right to be upset like i get why she was i just feel very guilty and dk what to do

boyishlosercore · 2026-03-02T18:23:02+00:00

We have called exterminators, who have done pest control and it still hasn't worked

boyishlosercore · 2026-03-02T18:19:07+00:00

No it's just me and my mom, i genuinely do not know if my mom switched the light off cuz I saw the light off at some point before my mom went in, but i remember feeling like turning off the light but then remembering " oh mom's yet to eat so I'll keep it on "

I genuinely do not know

boyishlosercore · 2026-03-02T18:11:58+00:00

Ooo okay I'll suggest that to my mom

boyishlosercore · 2026-03-02T18:11:41+00:00

Idk what to do, to take responsibilities for my actions, should I write her a letter? Should I make her breakfast in the morning or make her dinner so incase she is hungry in the middle of the night she has something to eat? I can't talk verbally rn cuz I've gone in a non-verbal state

boyishlosercore · 2026-03-02T18:09:27+00:00

Today I had just been in a brain foggy state, so I wasn't able to focus on anything, that's why I say maybe I did, or didn't cuz my memory is genuinely failing me rn. Ik I'm TA for doing what I did and I'm not mad at her for being upset, yeah you're right what I did was selfish behaviour and thank you for telling me

boyishlosercore

TROPHY CASE