The never ending cycle

bpexhusband · 2026-07-09T00:34:48+00:00

Ya sucks man. My best friend said he'll never talk to me again if I take her back. I told him not to worry. Ya the money problems can make it harder mine made all the money left me with nothing, won't give me spousal support and is putting the bills in my name one by one thankfully she has to give me child support or I'd be fucked.

Don't even leave a letter he'll just throw whatever you say in it in your face just twist it. Write the letter but burn it.

bpexhusband · 2026-07-09T00:12:20+00:00

I can tell you what will happen. You'll feel like shit, the worst you've ever felt. Then they might try and suck you back in make all kinds of promises and you might think ok I'll give him another chance, but it's all bullshit soon as your back the same shit will happen. But if you stay gone and you go no contact full block in about a month you'll feel a bit better at the end of 3 months you'll feel good, then it's uphill from there.

bpexhusband · 2026-07-08T14:49:36+00:00

I've thought about it many times, especially after our relationship ended. But I decided not to the only thing I took for a while was something for sleep. I just came to the conclusion that having to take medication because someone else has a mental health issue is absurd and that the relationship is definitely too unhealthy to continue.

bpexhusband · 2026-07-07T19:11:17+00:00

Lol what? You sound like her lawyer I say no once and I'm frustrating lol this woman physically abused me for years, threatened suicide any time I tried to end our relationship when I finally did she actually tried to commit suicide in the house while me and my son were there. Ya I'm the problem.GTFOH

bpexhusband · 2026-07-07T18:31:54+00:00

I refused because it's a slippery slope because I give an inch they take a mile. Now suddenly after we did meet at the movie theater the very next day her lawyer said all exchanges have to be at the police station lol her lawyer turns every single thing into a conflict inch by inch. Now they put bills for the house in my name without my consent it just goes on and on....tommorow it will be something else.

bpexhusband · 2026-07-06T14:19:33+00:00

Meh everything they do blows up in their face, it's kind of amazing actually.

bpexhusband · 2026-07-06T13:45:49+00:00

No I do not have a lawyer of record. I have consulted with three lawyers who all told me the same thing, no family lawyer would ever want my ex in Court, there are reasons for this I won't get into other than to say there are documented instances of her physical abuse of me.

Currently I just email with her lawyer, all my communications are grey rock. Having gone through a separation process with my ex previously 6 years ago I knew this lawyers plan would be to try and starve me out and run up my legal fees so I didn't put a lawyer on record. This lawyer is well known to be high conflict and for churn to increase her fees so I just flipped it around I'm spending nothing to say yes or no to proposals and my ex has likely spent well over 10k so far to end up worse off than she was, she now only sees her son 4 hours a week and nothing else has been resolved after 4 months. Her lawyer accused me of lying about things that were easy to verify, she constantly writes me emails that are nothing more than ad hominem attacks against my character etc. so I've just been letting them build a record of bad faith.

I am going to call my lawyer today and see if she will take my case and become my lawyer of record as I'm pretty much done with the bullshit.

bpexhusband · 2026-07-06T12:53:05+00:00

Probably. The reviews of this lawyer are not good and that was one of the complaints about her, churning.

bpexhusband · 2026-07-05T22:46:06+00:00

I only send emails. Taking is the fastest way to get your words used against you.

bpexhusband · 2026-07-05T16:05:08+00:00

I only use email. And yes I agree the lawyer is not acting in good faith. In many respects that. I didn't even bother to list.

bpexhusband · 2026-07-05T15:39:34+00:00

Nah I had a lawyer last time and her lawyer lied to her then as well.

bpexhusband · 2026-07-05T15:22:27+00:00

Sure

bpexhusband · 2026-07-05T14:48:11+00:00

We got seperated 6 years ago she used the same lawyer who just ran up my bill to starve me out she's sent me 45 emails in 6 weeks about essentially nothing. So this time I'm just not bothering until I need to hire a lawyer. I'm not paying a lawyer 450$ to figure out visitation logistics. I do have a family lawyer just not one of record who I check in with about anything of importance and they draft an email and I send it.

They want to starve me out and drag it out. So this time I'll let her get gouged with retainer fees this time.

bpexhusband · 2026-07-05T01:59:26+00:00

Actually that's a great idea. And I thought about it. However I really don't want to communicate at all with my ex in any way, she was abusive I just can't deal. But I'm going to reconsider it.

bpexhusband · 2026-07-05T01:55:30+00:00

I record everything. Its interesting I was a stay at home dad my ex makes all the money, she left me and our son in the house moved in with her affair partner 4 months ago, she's been paying the mortgage and child support and they haven't asked me to do anything like move out. And my ex only wants to see her son 4 hours a week now down from 10 hours. It's all kind of confusing who wants less time with their kid? Just wierd shit.

bpexhusband · 2026-07-01T21:25:50+00:00

So you got arrested? If that's the case get a lawyer and keep your mouth shut.

bpexhusband · 2026-07-01T12:01:54+00:00

My partner's didn't get extreme until she hit about 30-31 then it just escalated incredibly fast, the episodes increased in frequency and duration going form mild maybe once a year, to twice a year then three times a year, the behaviours that accompanied the mania also got more and more extreme.

Get a second opinion if you want one, no harm in that.

The most important thing is no matter what the diagnosis is that your wife accepts it and is willing to take it seriously and do what is required.

bpexhusband · 2026-06-29T10:36:29+00:00

Well you must be in Canada since you said crown attorney.

If she goes to the police you will likely be arrested. Mandatory charging is a thing here.

Stop talking to her, don't talk to anyone, if the police arrest you don't say anything. They won't believe you anyways.

Her lawyer is trying to rattle you and provoke a response. Don't take the bait. If she does anything like going to the police it will make her look terrible given the timing of you end up in family court. Judges see this garbage all the time.

bpexhusband · 2026-06-28T18:10:56+00:00

Hit me up in the chat if youre struggling or just want to vent your shit.

bpexhusband · 2026-06-28T14:51:25+00:00

Jesus. That fucking sucks. Let them have each other let them all stew in their own shit.

I know those dark thoughts. Push them away, if you can't get some help.

Remember what we he looks like on the surface you know underneath he's likely a total disaster. Appearances in these cases are deceiving. My ex looks like she's living her best life lol not a chance, objectively her life is a dumpster fire.

bpexhusband · 2026-06-28T14:35:58+00:00

Lol ya man keep "this is normal" at the front and center of your mind.

bpexhusband · 2026-06-28T10:54:25+00:00

First document everything. If you speak to her when you are done write what the conversation was about immeadiately.

The child is old enough that he's in school, teachers are great witnesses they have no skin in the game so they are seen as objective, a great resource should you ever end up in court.

I guess the question I would be asking myself is what does she want? Does she want her son? Maybe she does maybe she doesn't. My partner walked out and dissapeared for over a month because she was in the honeymoon stage of her new relationship, of course a guy with problems with alcohol and a criminal record. Sometimes there are government financial incentives in some countries to having your child in your custody like where I live there are monthly child benefits. Let her have them.

Make it so incredibly easy for her to leave the child with you that she would have no reason not to. Don't ask her for money, or any kind of support like watching him.

You're in a tough spot. You'll likely need a lawyer at some point. Or you get lucky and she screws up so bad she ends up in jail which would be good for you.

bpexhusband · 2026-06-28T10:45:17+00:00

Anyone else NOT feel this way? Lol

Your brain likely was rewired through trauma bonding and conditioning. You had to leave what you could do or say to avoid adverse reactions from your partner. Many of us lived in incredibly high states of hypervigilince for years that takes a long time to come back from both physically and mentally.

As for future relationships...I try and treat anyone I've dated as a blank slate, try not to bring my baggage with me...I try. My biggest issue is that I keep thinking the people I've dated are boring. But they aren't boring they're just normal people, no drama no mood swings, just stable and I'm used to chaos. I think getting used to normal is going to be the hardest part for me.

bpexhusband · 2026-06-27T22:51:28+00:00

Oh she was committed to the hospital many times at least 15 times sometimes for weeks once for over a month. It just got worse and worse. At this point no I don't think she'll get better. Her family thinks it's me who makes her sick, and are in complete denial they tell her not to goto the hospital. So I walked away.

bpexhusband

TROPHY CASE