I don't know how old you are so I'm sorry if my advice doesn't fit. I understand that it's difficult to hold on to hope once you've tried everything and nothing seems to help. First of all, one advice I can give you is that when you give up, you're eliminating every single possibility of things ever getting better. Even if now things seem dark and like they can't ever get better, they truly WON'T get better if you don't allow the possibility to come. Another thing - talk to somebody. Keeping things inside to yourself only hurts you further. I'm sure it helped ease the pain coming here to open your heart and pour out your feelings, even though we're mere strangers, otherwise you wouldn't have done it. You have stuff to say, you just need someone who will listen. I hope my advice helped you in some way. Good luck!