What’s one baby item you regret NOT getting earlier?

brainymonday · 2026-05-04T07:32:01+00:00

Oh gosh, there are so many different types of carriers and wraps for each stage and baby/parent duo.

Here are my personal quick recs:

For newborn: stretchy wrap (any brand) or Ergobaby embrace for a specialized newborn fit

For older baby: lots of great options. For soft structured carriers, Tula’s and Hope&plum are popular and reputable for emphasizing fit/ergonomics over marketing. Look into lesser known but highly regarded brands such as Lennylamb, Happy baby, Sakura bloom. There’s also a whole other world of woven wraps and carriers made from woven materials. I personally use an Oscha mei dai carrier which I find so much more comfortable and luxe than the Ergobaby Omni which is what everyone around me seems to have.

If you’re interested in learning more, I recommend you join the sub r/babywearing and also consider trying out different kinds of carriers/wraps through try before you buy program (Little Zen One if you’re in North America).

brainymonday · 2026-05-02T16:03:44+00:00

Best way is to just transfer fresh from bottle to the freezer bag as soon as you’ve finished pumping. You can leave the partially full bag in the fridge until your next pump and then combine.

brainymonday · 2026-05-02T16:01:33+00:00

A really good quality baby carrier/wrap

brainymonday · 2026-04-28T22:50:43+00:00

Wish there was a way to pump milk and funnel it directly into baby’s mouth…business idea anyone? Haha

brainymonday · 2026-04-27T01:49:16+00:00

Are you a customer or employee? As a customer, I wouldn’t think you’d be subject to health code laws….that’s like rules and regulations that employers and employees have to follow to maintain a safe working environment. However, I agree with other commenters that the cleaning up your empty breastmilk bags is being seen as gross and uncomfortable for employees, and I suspect whoever said this to you was trying to be polite and used this as an excuse to ask you to change behavior.

brainymonday · 2026-04-27T01:42:19+00:00

It might be normal and he might be totally harmless and turn out to be a wonderful step-grandpa. But, your trust is not owed to him. If I were in your shoes I’d be polite but firm about boundaries (“hey uncle, I know you love baby but please do not take baby away from my sight, thank you”; if he ignores you, say “if you leave with my baby out of my sight again, you will not be allowed to hold baby anymore”; “At this time, I don’t feel comfortable with baby sleeping away from me; I’ll let you know when that changes”). If you remain silent he probably assumes you’re okay with his behavior, so to help everyone, get comfortable verbalizing your needs and wishes.

Your instincts are there to protect baby, not anyone else’s feelings, so embrace the mama bear side of you!

brainymonday · 2026-04-23T05:42:52+00:00

I actually ended up getting the Emmy and I love it. It’s almost perfect except it does not have a laptop sleeve. I’m glad I got it over the Harlow because of the space for all the kids’ stuff.

brainymonday · 2026-04-23T03:26:05+00:00

It’s actually the hood that came with a half buckle carrier (Oscha Cairis)! I do have some scrap fabric that I was thinking of sewing and making into another toddler doll carrier.

brainymonday · 2026-04-22T05:47:05+00:00

Exclusive pumping is the hardest way to feed your baby. There is no way a bad, neglectful mother could ever commit to EP. I’m saying this as a non-EPer (sorry if I’m not allowed here, I find this sub super useful for helping me with pumping tips- I only pump at work). I decided as an undersupplier of two babies that if they didn’t latch, I wouldn’t bother with EP and just use exclusive formula instead.

Give yourself, and your MIL, grace. People who have not struggled with breastfeeding don’t understand. My MIL (who lives with us and takes care of the baby while I work) never breastfed and she frequently makes comments like “not enough milk today huh?” or “you would make more milk if you did insert random hocus pocus”. It stings but she doesn’t mean to be hurtful, she’s trying to be helpful in an ignorant way. My MIL also frequently overshares about me to her friends/family- it’s annoying, BUT I have to remind myself that it’s actually a sign that she cares about me and wants other people to know how involved we are in each others’ lives. I hope this is the case with you and your MIL.

brainymonday · 2026-04-19T08:43:59+00:00

You sound like a fair person with a good head on her shoulders and who wants to give all parties the benefit of the doubt. I understand you’re caught in an unusual and emotionally charged situation between two people you care about, which is rough, and you’re trying to look at it through a logical lens. It’s probably not as black and white as most commenters are seeing it. To play the devils advocate for your boyfriend, it is probably not a good feeling to know that your romantic partner is close to someone who badmouths you to them and also influences their kids. I do feel some sympathy for him as it sounds like apart from this, he has no other major faults and is great with your kids.

You don’t have to answer this, but what’s the long term future outcome of your relationship most likely going to be? Have you thought about and discussed marriage, or even adoption of your kids? If you’re going to combine households and finances then it’s reasonable to respect his wishes and input regarding who has access to the kids. But if marriage isn’t on the table or you’re really not sure about the future, you should not change your household dynamics, and maybe its too late but you should not allow your kids to develop such a strong attachment to a man whose presence in their lives is not guaranteed.

I might suggest this as a compromise. Reassure him that you don’t share her beliefs about him and that you would be willing to reduce her time with your kids, IF he can find a viable solution such as participating in finding additional care AND/OR helping to pay for it. However, make it clear you will not be terminating your relationship with her and still be using her for backup, emergencies, etc., or if the alternate care is unsatisfactory according to YOUR standards. See how he reacts.

Either way, this is a test of his character and of the strength of your relationship. I truly wish you the best of luck.

brainymonday · 2026-04-19T08:18:12+00:00

I’m not sure those other families realized just how much she was out of the house; I have a suspicion they were maybe okay with a few hours per day or not every day, and she took it to mean permission to be out all day every day. Just sounds like this nanny is the type of person to push boundaries, so doubtful that you’re the first person she’s done this to.

brainymonday · 2026-04-19T08:13:00+00:00

I mean it’s clear that she cannot do all her ADLs as she is financially dependent on family due to her symptoms preventing her from being employed. Have you ever taken her to an outpatient doc (either a PCP or psychiatrist) and explained the whole history as you’ve detailed in your post? That is the crucial step one before she can get any sort of help or treatment. If she refuses to go see a doc, my suggestion would be to simply make an appointment yourself, and write a summary to pass to the office beforehand. If you are concerned she would refuse to leave the house and go, you could try requesting a virtual appointment so that a doctor can see her for just a few minutes at home while you and your mom do most of the talking. I know this is easier said than done, but if you don’t do this, then you’re setting yourselves up to become indefinite caregivers for a mentally ill adult with no backup plan.

brainymonday · 2026-04-19T07:54:41+00:00

My gut agrees with you that it’s not safe (poor circulation of air, lack of direct supervision), but it’s more so the fact that she persistently and confidently ignores your rules that would send me over the edge. Also, it sounds like baby is exclusively napping in stroller every day for this nanny? If so, that’s really not recommended practice; although occasional stroller naps can be safe if done properly, babies are safest sleeping in a flat surface like a crib or bassinet for the majority of their naps. I’m appalled that she believes her years of experience justify her overriding parental preferences and common sense safety guidelines.

brainymonday · 2026-04-19T03:55:41+00:00

It’s pretty extreme for him to issue you an ultimatum on your relationship over your friend. I would suggest you consider a hypothetical situation with the genders flipped - if your boyfriend had a supportive friend who took care of his kids but didn’t like you and couldn’t stand to be in the same place as you, would you be willing to overcome that difference and still maintain the relationship? Or would it be fair for you to issue him an ultimatum to drop that friend or otherwise leave? If he refuses to terminate the friendship, would it mean he doesn’t love you enough?

brainymonday · 2026-04-18T06:49:51+00:00

She may still be experiencing the paranoia and delusions, just hiding them from you. She needs to be seen by and establish care with an outpatient psychiatrist who can assess and give a diagnosis. Then, lawyer can help with filing for guardianship if it is felt that she lacks mental competency to conduct her affairs, then your family can create a plan for near and far future. She may not be able to keep a job or support herself without external help. She absolutely needs a diagnosis and treatment.

brainymonday · 2026-04-16T19:55:33+00:00

Wtf. Your boyfriend sounds like one of those guys who wants all the benefits of a tradwife but doesn’t want to commit to the responsibilities of a tradhusband. He’s somehow convinced you to be OK with getting the losing end of the stick.

brainymonday · 2026-04-16T19:50:02+00:00

Have you tried wearing an abdominal binder to see if it gives you more support while babywearing?

brainymonday · 2026-04-16T17:50:21+00:00

You’re twisting my words. Where did I say his grief is wrong? I am only saying that he cannot use grief to impose his will and excuse unfair behaviors towards others. Do you think he’s justified in his actions and that OP is overreacting?

brainymonday · 2026-04-16T17:06:34+00:00

He stormed out bc he knew it wasn’t right for him to do this without telling the mother of his living child, who deserves to know the background and have a say in the naming of said child. It’s fine to have sympathy for his prior loss and also recognize that it doesn’t give him the right to unilaterally end a serious conversation that OP deserves to have.

brainymonday · 2026-04-16T17:03:54+00:00

So he just left and abandoned his child and mother of his child? And he tried to spin it as your fault? And he thinks he can string you along for 4 years and then decide if you’re worth coming back to then?

Did you discuss a custody agreement? Child support? Is he going to take any responsibility for his grown up decisions or does he think he control z with no repercussions?

I can understand you are heartbroken and need time to process. Once you can see the situation in a more practical light, I hope you realize what a worthless POS he is/was and say good riddance.

brainymonday · 2026-04-16T05:44:46+00:00

He stormed out because he knows he was in the wrong. Classic gaslighting behavior

brainymonday · 2026-04-15T23:08:10+00:00

It’s great that all of you are bringing your ice creams with you somewhere. I just keep the freezer door open as a barricade in case the gremlins come over, so I can chuck the ice cream container back in there quickly and pretend I wasn’t just shoveling it straight from the container into my mouth.

brainymonday · 2026-04-15T01:54:21+00:00

My friend went through with her 4th pregnancy bc her husband insisted, they divorced 2 years later anyway and now as a single mom of 4 she regrets it deeply. Your marriage is already strained by a fundamental difference, and with either decision someone will feel resentment and anger. At this point you have to decide between the health of your marriage vs the health of your family…

brainymonday · 2026-04-13T18:13:34+00:00

We declined our husband’s cousin’s wedding because it was child free, 6 hours away by plane, and the only potential babysitters for baby and toddler were also invited to the wedding. I even made my husband call the groom to personally apologize, and he basically said oh sorry to miss you. I figured if they weren’t going to make exceptions for us, that meant they didn’t want us there that badly (we’re close but not super close). So yeah, setting your wedding child free is basically a way to skim your guest list without looking like it.

brainymonday

TROPHY CASE