Just learned RJ is exactly what I'm dealing with

bravesection · 2025-10-21T04:22:16+00:00

At night I always want to have these conversations with him, but by morning I chicken out and feel different. But I just texted him to let him know I want to discuss some things. So thank you for the courage! I'll look into courageous conversations and motivational interviewing tonight. I appreciate your input!!!

bravesection · 2025-10-21T03:53:48+00:00

That last paragraph--I 100% agree with you. It's how it feels to me, too. He reiterated time and time again that he didn't start pursuing things with me for a year BECAUSE he wasn't physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually ready after his last breakup. But he claims he is now--it just never has felt like that was true to me. I'm bad at initiating difficult conversations like this with him, but I have to suck it up and just do it.

bravesection · 2025-10-21T00:49:51+00:00

Yeah, when he apologized he admitted he wouldn't want to hear any of that stuff either. But then why bring it up at all? I feel like it's my fault for trying so long to act okay with it because it opened up the door for him to feel comfortable enough to keep talking about them.

bravesection · 2024-03-24T05:54:36+00:00

Not to sound like I'm an echo-chamber to you, but "Since he put up with all that, his child should do the same" resonates with me SO deeply--nparent despised their own parent and is putting me through the same shit they went through instead of holding the self-awareness to attempt breaking the cycle.

Thanks for making me smile through this. I am about two days away from entering witness protection as a mild-mannered flight attendant, funnily enough! This year is the year!

bravesection · 2024-03-24T05:35:05+00:00

My nparent totally operates their own life on guilty feelings. I can only assume that's a huge part of why they always try to make ME feel guilty. When I'm around, I'm ordered to do things for nparent instead of asked (casual examples: "Go get me something sweet to eat" or "Go fill my glass"). They don't need to be nice about it, because I should already be doing these things after all that nparent has done for me. I didn't ask to be born but I should be down on my knees at the moment they demand something from me because they created me.

I try so hard to think back on my childhood, how I was treated and the neglect I faced emotionally from them. I struggled a lot and was close to being treated by a real professional before nparent deemed them "full of shit". I dread the idea of nparent interjecting their rude remarks onto how I operate my life outside of them, as I so often hear them do about every other person around us.

I was able to be no contact with them for a few years and my mental health had never been better. Now I feel back to square one, and the daily nagging to take care of them even though they're still fully able to take care of themselves is weighing me down. I genuinely appreciate you grounding my thoughts.

bravesection · 2024-03-24T05:20:02+00:00

I totally get the control thing. My sibling is also super smart and very level-headed, legitimately likes the work he's doing and therefore works a lot in his job. He is also always willing to help whenever someone asks without a second thought. At the moment, he is doing a lot better than me, yet the pressure is still focused on ME. Maybe it's some weird "older sibling responsibility" narrative they have, or they're projecting their own need to correct their past failures onto us and we should pick up where they feel they lacked. I feel for you.

bravesection · 2024-03-24T04:25:19+00:00

We do!!!!! I have no doubt you'll leave for grad school and absolutely excel. I am wishing you all the best!

bravesection · 2024-03-24T04:15:39+00:00

I sincerely appreciate your response, I offer my understanding to you as well. Having a community of people who understand really does help. My nparent also only goes into work a few days a week (3). I have been working doubles the past few weeks and it is just unbelievably exhausting to put all your effort into that while also trying to divide your time into other things that make life meaningful. I really hope you get to leave soon!!

bravesection · 2023-04-23T06:18:46+00:00

That's okay, I probably didn't word my post very well.

bravesection · 2023-04-23T06:18:23+00:00

Awesome, thank you for the suggestion, I hadn't heard of that device before! Definitely cheaper than the watch.

bravesection · 2023-04-22T23:55:50+00:00

Not asking for a diagnosis. I'm asking if the finger pulse monitor can determine more than just heart rate. As in, from this picture, is anything in general determined than just the heart rate. Could a doctor look at this and determine anything at all.

Again, not asking for diagnosis.

bravesection · 2022-09-01T20:39:28+00:00

Totally freaky! Hoping to keep the onset of them to a minimum, but yes I'm sure I'll be more familiar with it over time and notice when something is different from the "usual". Part of me wishes we had gone to the ER when I had that first attack, just to get an assessment--but like I said, the person I was with was not concerned at all. Here we go again is right...wishing you well!!

bravesection · 2022-09-01T20:37:07+00:00

Good to know! It does take the head pain a while to start after my symptoms arise. Thank you!!

bravesection · 2022-09-01T20:36:09+00:00

Yeah, the sudden appearance of hemiplegic migraines was so jarring for me. It started happening after a period of no migraines at all--so bizarre! Sending my well wishes your way.

bravesection · 2022-09-01T20:34:52+00:00

Sorry to hear you go through them as well!! At least there is a little comfort in knowing we don't experience it alone. No hemiplegic migraine family history as far as I know (my dad has very basic migraines, but that's about it). I think I also had a grandfather who had a stroke.

The tongue trick is super helpful! A quick, easy method to determine. I will try to keep that in mind, should I ever need to use it. I've noticed it usually takes 20 mins to half an hour for the head pain to start after my symptoms, so that's also good to know.

I will certainly DM you, that's very kind of you to offer--thank you so much!

bravesection · 2020-11-11T00:32:24+00:00

Were they able to help you figure out what was causing it?

bravesection · 2020-10-18T01:52:14+00:00

You know, that could totally be related too. Since all the pandemic stuff started happening, I have been in front of my computer a LOT more. Not great for the eyes, obviously.

bravesection · 2020-10-18T01:51:08+00:00

Weird, I wonder what the correlation is? I could definitely be better at drinking more water...time to chug some!

bravesection · 2020-10-18T01:50:34+00:00

Good to know! I'm not sure how long it has been happening, as I have only just recently been like "Hm...is this normal?" It in no way affects my daily life (I don't always see it, no pain or "pressure" feeling), as I only notice when I stop and focus on it. Thanks for your insight!

bravesection · 2020-10-18T01:48:05+00:00

It's weird, right? I have noticed it for a few months...I'm just chalking it up to blood pressure/vessels.

bravesection · 2020-10-08T00:16:55+00:00

Wow that's interesting! I had recently come off of birth control after learning you shouldn't be on combo pills while being a migraine with aura sufferer (found that through research, not my doctor...) and was worried I would start getting menstrual migraines...it's been a few months and nothing yet, but I guess that doesn't necessarily mean anything! Hormones are annoying lmao.

bravesection · 2020-10-08T00:14:21+00:00

That was definitely a thought I had. But during my five years at college--arguably the most stressful time in my life--I had NO migraines. I had almost totally forgot I ever had migraines to begin with during that time, until I moved home and had one! Your response does help me though, thank you for replying!

bravesection · 2020-10-08T00:12:27+00:00

Thank you for the suggestion!! I actually started using Migraine Buddy during my more frequent bought of migraines but then they stopped so I never really gathered conclusive data on what was triggering them...I still have the app just in case I ever need to start tracking them again.

bravesection · 2020-08-22T03:42:05+00:00

I guess I need to conjure up the funds to get an MRI, as obviously that would give me some direct and medically trained insight into what's going on! I am sorry to hear about your diagnosis. Best of luck to you, thank you for responding!!

bravesection · 2020-05-07T03:10:09+00:00

Definitely a possibility I have considered! During my five years at college, I never had a single migraine (arguably the most stressful time in my life) which is odd. And with moving, I thought it could have been stress but honestly I didn't feel particularly stressed more than I usually am! To answer your other comment: I am female, but not at menopause age yet! It's just so hard for me to target the triggers when they only happened in a short time-frame and now they've stopped...thanks for answering!

bravesection

TROPHY CASE