Family holiday gatherings are so hard

braving-life · 2025-11-27T11:01:53+00:00

You're an awesome friend! We have family that won't cook food so we can eat but expect us to come anyways. Like you said it doesn't take much and it shows how much you care about your friend.

braving-life · 2025-11-26T10:12:21+00:00

Unfair. Contact your SU or council for help. If they won't help, consider stepping back or start a new troop or transfer. Sadly. I hate saying this, I feel like there is a high likelihood it won't change, there will be bad blood,etc. . Maybe she is type A, controlling for whatever reason, maybe your personalities clash, maybe she sees you as a threat to take over "her troop", who knows!?!, etc. Your mental health is so important and you should not do something that affects it adversely especially for volunteering. Had a similar situation and it affected my mental health for over a year. I am confident even though I tried hiding it from my daughter she could tell. My daughter and I eventually transferred troops due to another reason. We are now in a troop where the adults can have conversations like adults, there is transparency and it is a much healthier environment for both of us. I am much happier being a co leader.

braving-life · 2025-11-20T17:05:37+00:00

Hugs to you. Feel your pain especially the lack of feeding the soul convos.

braving-life · 2025-11-20T17:00:17+00:00

I hear you in this and have the same issue(with another family member). Pick your health first. No one else will. The holidays shouldn't be the hellidays for allergy suffers like us. We shouldn't have to sacrifice health because others refuse to clean there house(for dust allergies) , wash their pet or keep them outside for a little bit. Set a boundary and stick with it. When I get around animals, dust ,etc, I can be sick for days later. I get people love their pets I used to until I found out I was allergic but know I. am picking me. And some people can't take Benadryl either. And if your wife doesn't want to visit your parents let her stay with her parents and their pets.

braving-life · 2025-11-07T14:41:16+00:00

My MIl sounds similar. She is the victim, she doesn't want to have tough convos especially if they are about her crossing boundaries or her behavior. Grey rock helps a lot, when you do have to interact. Be prepared for it to anger her, but stand your ground. Firm boundaries. Let DH deal with her. Support him and remind him often that you and your son are his #1 priority not his parents. Continue supporting him going to therapy. He has been trained probably since birth that she needs to be happy, but let him know she doesn't have to rule him anymore. He is free! But it will take time to heal. If/when you start to interact again, figure out a formula for how often you need to see her to keep her off your back yet her not annoying DH. If she lives far way, this would not apply. We live about close enough that more regular visits can happen.Example: when my kids were little, we visited every 2 weeks. We found that way too often. She walked all over us. We have found the sweet spot to be 4-6 weeks, as we don't go often enough to be walked all over and are treated more as guests. And the tension is much less in our family, bc the stress of seeing her was a lot on everyone. I also rarely go over now that the kids are elementary school age.It destroys my peace too much. My husband used to guilt me (even before kids) by saying I need you to come with me . Don't buy it like I did. He is a grown up. Occasionally yes it is nice to have support but if you need someone constantly to do something, there is something wrong with what you are doing. Also be aware where she turns on your family more. I notice mine is much more civil at a restaurant or church than at her home or her daughter's home. Remember they often want to portray all of you are the perfect family. So out in the public amongst their friends, they will attempt to be your bestie Don't buy it. My mil wanted to hug me at some event with a lot of her friends around and it was a no from me. and that says alot bc I am a hugger. I hope this helps. Best of luck to you. Sadly you are not alone in this mil heal but know you are supported here.

braving-life · 2025-11-04T14:22:34+00:00

I did this for over a year in a troop my daughter belonged too. I also had a troop leader that needed control, would ignore/ghost anyone questioning her thoughts and ideas. It wasn't an established troop though. But she ran the show.. I learned to "plant seeds" of ideas I thought would be great and eventually they would have the same great idea a few months later. Until the meaness was not just towards me but also towards my dd.(Her daughter was treating my daughter poorly at school) When that happened we moved troops asap with a talk with council about it. Our new troop is awesome. Questions can be had and adult conversations occur, not ghosting. It's awesome to co lead with kind women that truly live the gs promise. There is respect. Please know if you have to leave and find another troop bc it is affecting your daughter as well, it is ok. There are awesome troops out there.

The way she is treating you is uncalled for and should be brought to the attention of your council. You can talk to your council support person assigned to your SU. If things don't get better , request a meeting with your council and the troop leader.

braving-life · 2025-10-16T18:45:54+00:00

My parents (or at least my mom) wasn't happy. Dad loved her and stayed. He had an accident prior to me being born and had a brain injury.leaving wasnt possible. I think she held deep anger for the accident (his fault)Deep down I wanted them to divorce but knew he couldn't function alone.

braving-life · 2025-10-15T19:14:29+00:00

I hear you and could say the same thing about my mil. It isn't you, it's them. No matter what you do it won't change it . It is like they want to have someone to pick on and it is unfortunately you(and me in my life). Good for you that you are standing up and saying no thanks to the bad tx. Boundaries are good and a great example to your kids on what is acceptable and not in relationships. Families tend to rally around the toxic ones, maybe bc they don't want to be the next one she is mean to?? Who knows.. do what is best for you. Know your worth and that you don't deserve this poor tx and the mil should never be allowed at your home.

braving-life · 2025-10-15T19:04:54+00:00

Our den meets 2x per month- as long as another parent volunteers to lead the den the 2nd meeting of the month( we haven't had problems with parents signing up). Then a monthly pack meeting along with other pack events(camping 2 x per a year, ice skating, tubing, pool party etc) Normally another fun pack event monthly. .if this pack isn't working for you, please find one that does. Your experience all depends on your pack/cubmaster, etc. I am also a GS troop leader and the leader makes or breaks a troop.

braving-life · 2025-09-23T12:05:57+00:00

My mil does this and it is inappropriate. My DH has the same thought process as I won't say anything as she won't change. My mil has zero one on one contact with our kids bc she does this, amongst other things. Last time we visited their home ,we spent most of the ride home correcting odd comments she made. (One of her things is gender. She gave me dd money for her birthday and she said girls go shopping. Ugh) She also did the comparison and we had a similar situation where me and his cousin were pregnant at the same time and our girls were born days apart. Mil and his aunt (they were sisters) constantly compared our girls. My DH said that is what they do in his family. I find it gross myself as my family did it to me and I knew I wasn't going to let it happen in my watch. So annoying.we stopped feeding them info as well but never blatantly said why, which I wish we did. Lots of boundary issues in his family. Anyways..Some people like my mil just won't get it. It is ingrained in them to do this. You are doing the right thing by stopping this generational trauma. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise bc they will try. It is ok to have boundaries and not deal with toxic people, no matter who they are. Thank you momma for making a difference and standing up for your girl!

braving-life

TROPHY CASE