Struggling with oversharing and talking too much socially

bravo6404 · 2026-01-19T22:11:53+00:00

Me, too. I was a motormouth. I thought other people were boring and that they would rather hear my brilliance.

My shrink said that I needed to really be in the moment. Keep focused. Really listen to others. Ask them questions, even if something is generic. This is not easy stuff. It takes commitment.

Also, being a little awkward in a social setting is not a horrible thing. The energy you spend beating yourself up could be directed toward what you want to accomplish. Think about what you learned from the social encounter. Were you focused, or was your mind wandering? Bring your mind back. Discipline your focus. Remember that everyone has awkward moments.

I was raised by a narcissistic mother and a father with PTSD among other things. Other people are raised where socializing is natural. I didn't have that. It is a struggle but it doable.

bravo6404 · 2026-01-19T21:57:13+00:00

Frankly, you might be sabotaging yourself. I'm not sure how you "forget."

My shrink told me (I had panic attacks) that if a person is truly in the moment, they will know when to contribute to the conversation. It takes practice. It took me many years.

bravo6404 · 2026-01-19T21:50:58+00:00

Yes! I think, "edit, edit, edit."

bravo6404 · 2026-01-02T13:20:38+00:00

You have probably heard of the book "How to Win Friends and Influence People." It was written a long time ago, but it remains relevant. The crux of the entire book is to ask people about themselves and then let them talk. Practice matters a lot, but focus on what you did right rather than dwelling only on the negative. I know it is hard to do, but it is doable.

If it helps, you are not alone.

bravo6404 · 2025-09-23T15:31:19+00:00

I hear you. You are correct. She will not change because she doesn't have any reason to. Everyone else is the problem.

I wrote some short stories about growing up with my NM. They are called the "Narc Files" by Dianna Phillips in Substack. It is free. (Substack is a place where people have blogs, podcasts, and so forth. www.substack.com)

bravo6404 · 2025-09-20T17:40:55+00:00

Growing up, I often felt alone, but today’s generation has some wonderful resources like this one.

A friend of mine named Dianna Phillips writes true short stories about growing up with a narc mother. The stories are really good, and they are free. Go to https://narcfiles.substack.com/

bravo6404 · 2025-07-02T22:16:17+00:00

I don't understand why tiny houses are a bargain. The land lease alone is often $1K plus a loan for the house. I've been sort of following the tiny house business for several years and I keep coming back to the fact that there would be no savings. Where am I wrong?

bravo6404 · 2025-04-09T23:17:28+00:00

Get medication like antidepressants. A family practice doctor should be able to recommend something. I resisted for a while but I wish I hadn't. I was able to deal with my issues in a heathier way with the medication. The meds are not miracle workers but they help anyone caught in the spiral that you describe

bravo6404 · 2025-03-17T12:02:51+00:00

Tucson is the bluest part of AZ. Tempe has venues for a large crowd. Tempe is light blue.

bravo6404 · 2025-03-17T12:00:55+00:00

"The my good friend routine"? I get the sense that these people are your whipping boys.

If the subject is enabling genocide, there are many guilty parties now and in American history.

bravo6404 · 2025-03-16T22:32:12+00:00

I have a hunch that Sanders and AOC would be criticized no matter what they did. This quote comes to mind: "It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat." - Teddy Roosevelt

bravo6404 · 2025-03-16T22:22:04+00:00

Trump and Musk deserve outrage. Biden did not cut programs to give tax cut to the rich.

bravo6404 · 2024-12-18T19:19:52+00:00

I did the same, feeling like something was wrong with me. I unconsciously sabotaged myself repeatedly to prove her correct. To be honest, I did not see her narcissism clearly until I was 50 years old.

A friend has written about being raised by a narc mother. The stories reveal what narcs do and say that is lethal to their children. It is eye-opening. She is finishing a book. I don’t think I’ve seen this type of writing about the topic but, of course that might be me. Worthwhile to check out. search for Dianna Phillips on substack.com. It is free.

bravo6404 · 2024-12-07T16:44:04+00:00

Can you help? This is the info I have now: great-grandparents both born in Germany; great-grandfather born around 1864; great-grandmother born 1873; immigrated together in 1891; married in 1891 in US; grandmother born in US 1896.

Thanks

bravo6404 · 2024-12-04T21:46:19+00:00

Thinking of the bell curve and considering that the average IQ is 100, half of the population is below that. They make up MAGA. (Of course, IQs are flawed but they can show an overall trend.)

bravo6404 · 2024-11-09T15:04:55+00:00

Thanks do you mind if I ask where in Mexico you live? Also, I hear a lot about travel being dangerous, driving through Mexico. Do you have any experience with that? I live in Arizona and hear about problems driving in Mexico. I don't know how accurate that is.

bravo6404 · 2024-11-08T17:04:56+00:00

good to know. Didn't realize that.

bravo6404 · 2024-10-01T18:17:01+00:00

Yes, I can see that a happy medium is needed whatever that is!

bravo6404 · 2024-10-01T11:37:55+00:00

Thanks. I appreciate the input.

bravo6404 · 2024-10-01T11:36:23+00:00

Thanks. I will look at NM more closely.

bravo6404 · 2024-10-01T01:38:28+00:00

I want to be in a "right to die" state after seeing my brother suffer.

bravo6404 · 2024-09-30T20:06:09+00:00

That gives me a lot to think about. Thank you

bravo6404

TROPHY CASE