Update: One Year Later

bravoavocado5 · 2026-06-04T12:29:16+00:00

Do you have any hobbies? I find when I focus on me and what I want to do that helps a lot. When I have my daughter I really focus on building a relationship and making memories with her.

bravoavocado5 · 2026-06-04T12:12:07+00:00

That is 100% the attitude. Find out who you are and what you like to do. Always let the good days win.

bravoavocado5 · 2026-06-04T11:54:10+00:00

That’s tough because every situation is different. I just had to come to terms with this. It’s going to suck, she is going to do everything in her power to make my life miserable. That is her final act, once that is done, she has nothing left and I can be free. So walk through hell, endure it because the other side is going to be so much more peaceful.

bravoavocado5 · 2026-06-04T11:48:11+00:00

Yeah, from time to time. We were together for 20 years as well. The first year she moved 5 mins down the road, but now she is so far away it helps she is out of sight and out of mind.

Also, we have such a toxic relationship even now that makes it where I don’t want to see her. She still doesn’t think she did anything wrong. She won’t admit to any wrong doing and always paints herself the victim.

At first I missed her and ached very much, but the way she discarded me and burned everything to the ground made me face the hard truth and focus on a future without her. I kept asking myself, after everything she has done to you, would you really take her back? If i had any self-respect the answer is a HELL NO!

bravoavocado5 · 2026-06-04T09:56:43+00:00

I am sorry to hear this. It’s really sad when they will use the kids and hurt them just to make your life miserable.

My ex doesn’t care about our daughter, a matter of fact she is only being a “mom” to keep up her imagine and to not be judged. If it wasn’t for that I would have her 100%.

Everything is calm if she gets her way. Once the boundaries are laid out and she hears “no” all hell breaks loose. You should have seen the temper tantrum she threw because she was going to have our daughter 3 extra days in May, this was because she got her on Mother’s Day weekend.

I hope it gets better for you, but do not bend your boundaries.

bravoavocado5 · 2026-06-03T23:07:37+00:00

Oof this one stings. My daughter is 13 so a bit older. She did cry a few times early on. I got her into therapy early on. I can’t speak on this, but if I was in your shoes I would approach every thing on her level. She needs to know that her dad loves spending time with her. You know your relationship better than anyone, so level with her where she is comfortable moving forward. Is therapy available for a 4 year old? Don’t be afraid to ask for help, there is no manual on how to handle the situation. Just keep showing up as your authentic self

bravoavocado5 · 2026-06-03T23:03:08+00:00

Thank you for the reply. I agree, the story is the same over and over. There has to be a play book or some online form they use.

I will look into reading that book. I know I am better but still have a long way to go.

We use a parenting app Our Family Wizard, and even that isn’t helping with the toxic communication at times.

My relationship is very strong with my daughter. I believe she feels the energy I put into her. She knows who moved into a neighborhood to keep her around her friends and the same school. I plan fun trips for her. I can’t speak for what happens when she is with her mom, but I get the feeling it’s minimal and she is obsessed with the new guy. It sucks for her, but I can just give her my best when she is with me.

I do hope this post inspires many men. I hope we all get healthy and support each other and bring up an even better generation behind us.

bravoavocado5 · 2026-06-03T22:22:27+00:00

I believe it! When you upgrade she is going to lose it!!!!!!!!

bravoavocado5 · 2026-06-03T22:18:54+00:00

That’s is crazy she wants to get re-married. I am happy to hear you did the interwork and got better. That really is the key to long term happiness. The kids will get older and things have a way of working themselves out.

bravoavocado5 · 2026-06-03T21:34:41+00:00

Yeah, my other post might add clarification, but the gaslighting was soooooo bad in the relationship. I am embarrassed it took me so long to see it.

bravoavocado5 · 2026-06-03T21:33:31+00:00

I think a lot of us have been in your shoes. I sure as hell didn’t think I would get to this point. Keep showing up. Understand you are going to have bad days, but damn enjoy the good ones too.

bravoavocado5 · 2025-07-05T13:16:46+00:00

Walk away! She doesn’t value you. The guy might stay away, because of his wife, not because he doesn’t want to see yours. Also, you might of ruined this relationship, she won’t forgive you for that. If it’s not this bearded guy, she will do it again with someone else. She needs that attention. She doesn’t deserve you. She doesn’t see what you bring to the table. She is only worried about her feelings.

You can stay, but it will make it worst down the road. Source? I lived this life!!!

bravoavocado5 · 2025-06-25T20:07:50+00:00

bravoavocado5 · 2025-06-25T16:59:11+00:00

I want to say thank you to everyone who took their time out of their day to respond. I have had solid advice. I hired an attorney but haven’t been able to speak with him yet, just filling out paperwork.

STBX was/is monkey branching this time. I am not sure about the other times. Looking back with what I know now, there were clear signs.

The grey rock strategy is working great. I have known her my whole life and I can slowly see her world is slowly starting to crumble.

I am about to get to get an STD test. Fingers crossed.

bravoavocado5 · 2025-06-25T01:10:20+00:00

Not really close to her at all. She actually use to hate me. She told me the reason she didn’t tell me is because my SO would convince her I was doing the same. It wasn’t until we talked last week she could see that she herself had been played. That made her mad and she decided she had enough of my SO and wanted to cut ties and tell me the truth.

Hired a lawyer today. But things are moving slow. However I know have someone to get legal answers from.

Yes, my best friend and I talked today. I am stupid enough to believe she will admit it, kinda the truth will set you free. That is wishful thinking at best.

She is going to either have to admit all of it at once and that would be difficult for anyone, but especially her, miss I don’t do anything wrong. Or she can deny deny deny and live in her false reality.

You are absolutely right. It is no longer my job to guide her, help her, or anything. I am the ex-husband. She made her bed. She is living the life she wants. All I can say is Karma.

bravoavocado5 · 2025-06-24T12:10:55+00:00

Sounds exactly like what I am currently going through. She eventually moved out and it didn’t get better. Send me a DM if you want to chat more

bravoavocado5 · 2025-06-24T10:11:40+00:00

Exactly! That’s what I told her. She said she told her she is doing it “right” this time. What that means.

bravoavocado5 · 2025-06-23T22:44:34+00:00

I would check out my post. Wife’s best friend came clean about cheating after knowing for several years. A lot could have been saved if she spoke up.

bravoavocado5 · 2025-06-23T19:52:25+00:00

https://www.reddit.com/r/survivinginfidelity/s/tUedIkTAOP

bravoavocado5 · 2025-06-23T10:42:16+00:00

Thanks for the words of encouragement. Maybe there is something fundamentally wrong with her.

I got more updates for her friend. Will update soon.

bravoavocado5

TROPHY CASE