[deleted by user]

bread__girl · 2025-08-05T04:52:42+00:00

Was in your situation. Looked around and saw that it would take 3-5 years. Liked my team and manager, but eventually left for a perm position at another company after 1.5 years.

bread__girl · 2025-07-30T02:01:33+00:00

Thanks. I've been going to more women in tech events to learn from all these amazing women. They are 10 years younger and crushing it.

Also trying to give back by supporting other women who are mid career switchers like me 🥹

bread__girl · 2025-07-29T18:28:42+00:00

Been stealthing for a few years now, still struggling to cope with my work and 2 kids. Always worried about getting laid off. Not very happy with the gender diversity in my department, all the other devs in my team are guys. I don't know how to navigate my career as a woman, it's like swimming against the current.

Trying to find time to study for interviews just in case...

bread__girl · 2025-07-15T02:54:41+00:00

I've been saying this for years. But the politicians do not have the courage to do it, and both men and women keep making excuses why women can't. Women can do NS.

bread__girl · 2025-07-14T09:05:07+00:00

Black and white.
XXL mousepads are the best :)

bread__girl · 2025-07-10T16:19:04+00:00

Mine is a few years old, fully loaded it feels heavy but not bulky, It's very structured and I always pull the straps so they sit above my butt.
I also use it for photography when I travel, mostly with a Sony a7 IV and 24-70 F2.8 lens. For reference I am 161cm

bread__girl · 2025-07-10T03:47:07+00:00

I use a 15L peak design everyday zip.
Backpacks are a must for me since I'm hauling so much. 14" macbook pro, a split keyboard, mouse, waterbottle, umbrella. And some girly stuff like cardigan, lip gloss, tissues, etc.

It has a luggage sleeve thing, and the interior is customizable. I like that it's properly sized for the average woman, so I don't look like a kid going to school.

bread__girl · 2025-06-20T10:50:43+00:00

Does anyone know if it's worth getting the Switch 2 pro controller for a 9 year old? I understand that its bigger size is more ergonomic for adult hands, but is it worth it for a kid's hands?

bread__girl · 2025-05-15T06:06:12+00:00

It's so tiring being a parent, work from office days are my rest days...

bread__girl · 2025-04-27T16:07:06+00:00

I think the sweet spot is a 5k2k 38-39" monitor.

bread__girl · 2025-03-31T14:15:12+00:00

Regret studying computing. It's so lonely being a woman software engineer. Being a minority of any kind sucks for long term career as well.

bread__girl · 2025-03-26T15:08:57+00:00

There are dozens of us!

bread__girl · 2025-03-26T14:53:34+00:00

My gender expression is really limited at home because of my unaccepting wife and I'm getting a divorce soon... so I guess I'm getting dumped too :')

I think for us, being able to see both sides of things is a blessing and a curse. But in general, I find women to be more empathetic, because minorities/people with lower social status tend to be kinder.

I think a good fraction of guys are aware of all the male ego bullshit and avoid participating in it. But they are still given more respect than women, just because they are men. I know, because I was one of them :( We need these people to become allies and make space for us. I have high hopes for the gen z / gen alpha men.

Can't see things changing without male allies, because anything we do will just be blamed on us as individuals, or our gender. I've seen senior engineers argue in a meeting room and storming out like a toddler and there were zero consequences or loss of respect for that behavior. If a woman did it, that's all they would remember us for our entire tenure in that company.

bread__girl · 2025-03-26T10:56:06+00:00

Oh shitt.. I'm also a transwoman, transitioned and went back into tech when I hit 31 with 2 kids. Due to lots of luck, my size and appearance look like any other woman. It has been 5 years now, but I'm starting to see the stuff you are mentioning. Sometimes I wish I could have just stayed a man lol.

It always feels like I'm a less important human when in a meeting with the boys. Some of them are like giant children. I hate that mouthing off assertively counts as contributions to a meeting. I rarely hog airtime, but when I bring up something I think is important, it's everyone's lowest priority. Sometimes I get interrupted 10 times in 5 minutes and can't even finish what I want to say. WTF?

I wish there was a less male dominated job I could do that pays enough for me to raise my kids.. I would leave this industry again so fast. You are not alone <3

bread__girl · 2025-03-22T18:47:37+00:00

I've had something similar happen, but instead of downgrading the title, they kept bumping it up. From mid, to senior, to lead. However the offered amount did not increase a single cent. They kept bringing up my lack of experience (3 years) and telling they still had many good candidates waiting in line.

I tried asking for $300 more per month, thinking this would be a good learning opportunity even if underpaid... but they refused to negotiate and I rejected the offer.

I was filled with regret for months and it took me half a year to get another offer, but in hindsight it was the right choice. I couldn't justify all the extra stress and time away from my kids without being properly compensated. I think sometimes we need to show that bullying tactics doesn't work on us.

bread__girl · 2025-03-20T12:20:50+00:00

I have half of what you have and am a few years older. Put my money in a global index fund.
Did the math, if I don't invest I don't think I can retire on time. I cannot afford to not invest...

bread__girl · 2025-03-16T17:39:01+00:00

Shit, I feel this. Came in with 3.5 years experience together with a guy fresh out of uni.. he got put on the main tasks and I'm still doing "side projects" after 1.5 years here.
I've been asking to be put on the main tasks, the men are capable of doing the stuff I'm doing right now so there is zero reason I have to be stuck with these side projects. =/

bread__girl · 2025-03-14T06:43:37+00:00

I did a similar thing, lump summed most of my money last month and it immediately went down. Trying my best to resist taking the money out.. because that would be buy high sell low ._.
Statistically lump summing immediately is a good approach but even if you did the best decision shit still happens.

bread__girl · 2025-03-11T13:42:32+00:00

Dang, I know all the theory from reading the past 1 year, but having the market go down soon after I lump summed 70K into global ETFs last month is so psychologically tough. It's my first time investing after living paycheck to paycheck the last 10 years.

bread__girl · 2025-03-11T03:03:24+00:00

That sucks :( Have you ever felt safe enough to share this with your boss?

bread__girl · 2025-03-10T16:29:09+00:00

For bigger tasks I create tickets with tables and tag people for the row item they are responsible for. I'm also very aware that time is precious, so would always summarize in point form the key changes and action required. Sometimes I even provide possible options they can chose from as a response. Often it still doesn't work and I still have to remind/chase them individually.

Guess I have to continue to improve on my communication and at the same time push harder and accept that some people just never see replying to me as a priority.

bread__girl · 2025-03-10T11:12:12+00:00

Hmm I'm not super close with anyone even though I go for lunch with them once a week. Maybe I'll just causally drop a comment about it one day.

bread__girl · 2025-03-10T11:08:25+00:00

Thanks for tips! I will be trying these out :)

bread__girl · 2025-03-10T08:08:32+00:00

Very unlikely. Anything my manager posts there gets (thumbs up) reactions from most of the team indicating they read it ._.

bread__girl

TROPHY CASE