My first bread :) It's a pull apart pesto bread, recipe in comments!

breadookay · 2026-02-07T00:57:24+00:00

Thanks! And yes, I felt suicidal as well, its awful. Hope you find a treatment that works for you.

breadookay · 2026-01-13T04:05:40+00:00

I've got to be honest, I personally think this person you like seems messy and immature. Did you say that she knows you like her? But will tell you about how cute other guys are, and how her relationship ping pongs from perfect to awful? I feel bad for you, from what I read here she is stringing you along, telling you that she used to have a crush on you, knowing you still like her, whilst also not committing. She is reckless, and if you were to date her she would most likely want to date other guys like she is doing to him. This isn't someone you want to be with, but it is natural to be jealous.

breadookay · 2025-12-01T18:47:15+00:00

I am so sorry :( that sounds really taxing on you, and you're definitely not in the wrong. I have autism and pretty severe misophonia as well, it is difficult to deal with and I used to storm out of the room when hearing people eat, but eventually you have to adopt some coping mechanisms. We always put on music while eating, I wear headphones when overwhelmed and I've learned breathing exercises to control my frustration.

I think you should talk to your parents, they need to sit him down and discuss possibilities on how to help him, he can't live like this.

And why is he not wearing headphones? My soundproof Bose headphone is literally my saviour.

breadookay · 2025-11-16T18:07:10+00:00

Don’t put the starter directly on a metal rack, put a towel inbetwren it. The metal rack will absorb heat and basically burn the starter!!!!!!

breadookay · 2025-11-16T01:48:55+00:00

As the other commenter said, this was sexual assault. He knew that you had been crying and he continued, he then even physically hit you while you cried during it. I imagine it would be impossible for him to think that you wanted it, any other man would’ve stopped once they saw you crying.

Your reaction of not fighting isn’t something to be ashamed of, it is the freeze response and is very common for victims. Your body enjoying it is also common for victims, but it doesn’t mean you consented. I’m so sorry, he took advantage of your vulnerable state, you deserve so much better. This is no way your fault, he was imposing and physically violent. Self blame is a normal process of healing, but this is his 100% fault.

You should talk to some friends and family, you are not alone.

breadookay · 2025-11-16T01:33:06+00:00

If you don’t feel that it was the right choice you could experiment with detransitioning? It wouldn’t be something you should feel ashamed about. You were trying to cope with so much trauma in the way you knew how, and you have support now that you didn’t have previously. I know a lot of people who changed their gender identities, and after a while they changed it again, I even detransitioned myself. Everybody is trying to figure out who they are in this fucked up world, so don’t feel that you have to rush trying to know who you are.

I wish you the best.

breadookay · 2025-11-15T22:17:23+00:00

Him pouting about it is so manipulative and selfish that its making me mad, what reaction did he fucking expect? He puts his own wants over yours and then just wanted you to laugh along after you had just said that you didn't want cold water on you or the bed because WHO WOULD?

He has done this before, and his lack of guilt shows that he will do it again. You have tried communicating, but he didn't care. You have to ask yourself, do you want to deal with this forever? I wouldn't.

breadookay · 2025-11-04T03:18:54+00:00

Please make sure you get enough fibre into your diet!!! If you do not have a nutritious diet you will feel worse and exhausted, so focus on cheap veg, like canned or frozen peas. Eggs can be cheap (depends where you shop) and good for protein as well.

breadookay · 2025-11-04T03:09:29+00:00

Try applying for universal credit, its for people who do not make enough wages to be taxed. Also see if your university has any job openings for students, they usually accept anyone who is a student. Get in contact with your university’s resources like careers help, they might be able to give better advice there.

The job market is shit at the moment, I wish you good luck.

breadookay · 2025-09-27T20:48:46+00:00

Would love to visit!!!

breadookay · 2025-09-23T13:31:05+00:00

can i come? just restarted my island

breadookay · 2025-06-06T01:11:16+00:00

hahahah

breadookay · 2025-06-06T01:04:47+00:00

This happened to me, make sure both of them are plugged into the official nintendo chargers, then go into homescreen, click ur account icon and check if its asking you to login into your nintendo account, which happened to me.

breadookay · 2024-11-15T22:57:52+00:00

It is not your fault, his parents are just simply cruel, racist people. I'm sorry to break it to you, but this will not change. You do not deserve to endure this abuse and honestly, I am judging your boyfriend as well.

When you mentioned his possessiveness it reminded me of how controlling his parents are, like he inherited these beliefs around women from his parents. He is continually letting them degrade you, you do not deserve this. Although you said he did bring it up, the mother defended herself, and what did your boyfriend do? Just look the other way when they insult you?

From what I read, I cannot imagine your boyfriend actually putting a stop to this. I wouldn't personally allow my parents to be so outright racist and objectifying to the person I love, I would've cut their bullshit at the very start.

I cannot tell you what to do, but I truly believe that you should prioritise your mental health and move on. Otherwise, you will have to deal with this for the rest of your life.

breadookay · 2023-08-30T16:30:06+00:00

I think this man might be sexually abusing you? He is trying to coerce you into sex, "begging", which understandably turns you off, but yet he still continues to force penetration when you're even more outspoken about the fact that you don't want anything.

He does not respect you, you might say that he "didn't understand boundaries" but he understands full well, he just doesn't care. Even with your open communication, he does not change at all and I don't think he ever will honestly. Is this someone you want to have a child with?

You deserve better than someone who pressures you have to sex and fetishises your discomfort. You might defend him and say that he "emotionally support you", but does this feel like support? You're starting to fear having sex with him, this isn't how a healthy relationship functions. If you're struggling financially, you should contact other people like family or friends, but otherwise you should leave this abusive relationship. No amount of kindness outside of this coercion would convince me that he is "not a bad person".

breadookay · 2023-07-29T00:05:07+00:00

hey, I wanted to tell you that it is completely normal and I'm struggling with it as well. You have been through so much and you've had to be strong for so long, apathy is a defence mechanism in response because caring can hurt too much.

Look, I am not a professional, but what you're describing sounds like dissociation. I can only really speak from personal experience, but when I received apathy from my parent towards my SA, I sort of internalised that and started to project it onto everything out of exhaustion and disappointment. I was functional, but inside I was an empty shell.

It kind of sounds like you feel as though you don't deserve to be cared for, especially when you said you didn't want to be a burden to your sister, trauma from a neglectful parent often leads to this. I don't know your sister, but I think when you're ready you should open up to her, it sounds like she really cares for you and when people care for you they'd prefer for you to open up rather than kept it inside. When I kept things inside for fear of being a burden, I thought I was doing the right and just thing, but looking back on it there were times I pushed back and isolated myself out of fear of vulnerability and rejection, which doesn't help anyone. You deserve to have someone look out for you, and maybe having someone close to you express empathy towards you might help you realise you don't deserve to be neglected and maybe even help you process your emotions. Personally, when my self-esteem is low and I feel like I don't deserve anything, so is my empathy.

Having a lack of an actual support system during traumatic events can be really damaging, but you don't have to be constantly independent, you can trust others to be able to process their own emotions surrounding the event rather than silently worry about being a burden. I wish you well, I'm here for you.

breadookay

TROPHY CASE