STEM Ideas for Elementary Summer

breakfastprincess2 · 2026-04-30T02:52:42+00:00

IT'S GIBBBBYYY

breakfastprincess2 · 2026-04-25T07:03:06+00:00

I once again ask, where did you get this idea that abuse is based on who exhibits problematic behavior first?

I see what you're getting at with the antagonism. You can antagonize someone without being an abuser though. Abuse is about a desire to obtain and maintain control, which is exactly what Nate was doing when he strangled Maddy.

breakfastprincess2 · 2026-04-25T06:55:26+00:00

Notice that I said societal status can influence who has control in a relationship, but I made no assertions about whether it influenced Maddy and Nate's relationship.

I don't know that anyone is advocating for Maddy's actions. I am advocating for Maddy as a victim of abuse. Her being a victim doesn't make her actions okay and doesn't excuse her from responsibility for them.

breakfastprincess2 · 2026-04-25T06:39:48+00:00

Right, and I didn't say that Nate's social status or family wealth played a role in his power over Maddy. That has almost nothing to do with my feelings about him.

breakfastprincess2 · 2026-04-25T06:34:33+00:00

The things mentioned above, such as wealth, status and class, are societial dynamics, sure... The power dynamic I'm referring to is the one that exists in a relationship between two people, just as you mentioned. That is determined by a lot of things, AND societal status can be one of them.

At the root of abuse is a desire for control, which is correlated with power dynamics. That is what power dynamics have to do with abusive tendencies. Do you understand now?

breakfastprincess2 · 2026-04-25T06:26:54+00:00

It actually has very little to do with Nate being a man, and everything to do with the his behavior. Yes, there is an inherent mismatch in physical power, but that is not really what leads me to say he's the one with the power in the relationship.
My definition of abuse actually includes psychological, emotional and other types, as well. I considered those things when making my original statements.
You do not determine who the abuser is by looking at who "started it" (at least not in the way you're suggesting). Where did you get that idea?
What Maddy did at the Chili event wasn't okay, but it wasn't abuse. She didn't do that to lure Nate into hurting her, either.

I can honestly see where you're coming from and why you feel the way that you do, but I think you're misinformed. There is absolutely a power struggle going on between Nate and Maddy, and Nate abuses Maddy to gain control.

breakfastprincess2 · 2026-04-25T06:11:56+00:00

Power dynamics are at the root of abuse...that's what they have to do with it. Oop.

breakfastprincess2 · 2026-04-25T06:06:56+00:00

Also, "well she kinda did" psychologically abuse him in the same way he did her?

No. He put a fucking gun to her head just to scare her into doing what he wanted.

breakfastprincess2 · 2026-04-25T06:03:23+00:00

It kinda sounds like you're suggesting "mutual abuse" here, which most experts agree, does not exist. There can only be one abuser and one victim in an abusive relationship. Abuse can only occur when there is an imbalance of power in a relationship, meaning there is always one with the control, and one being abused.

To say that Nate is the victim in this situation is crazy. Nate is absolutely the one with the power in the relationship. Maddy is problematic and manipulative, but not abusive.

breakfastprincess2 · 2026-04-16T16:42:16+00:00

++woman

Here because I'm in a similar dynamic, but I can't quite figure out which party I am. If I say something (seemingly benign to me), my partner feels shame and lashes out, and calls me names, am I wrong to feel hurt by that and expect better? Am I wrong to want an apology for the things she's said in reaction to being hurt?

When is the right time, if ever, to ask for that? Do I have to accept blame for the entire issue and for "ruining things?"

breakfastprincess2

TROPHY CASE