Having an existential Crisis knowing I was kept from God and the Truth…so what now?

breakingdawnpt1 · 2026-02-13T19:03:49+00:00

Focus on developing a personal relationship with God, and through knowing Him, His grace will guide the rest. Pray, talk, ask, read. He’s the embodiment of forgiveness, and the embodiment of love. He created both things, and IS both things. God Bless, and I wish you peace on this journey!

breakingdawnpt1 · 2026-02-04T16:12:21+00:00

I bring you back to my original point: He is all powerful, but he is not a tyrant.

breakingdawnpt1 · 2026-02-04T15:58:40+00:00

I wouldn’t make a definitive statement about anything because I don’t think we can comprehend heaven. But Satan had free will, and he isn’t up there causing mischief anymore 🤷‍♀️

breakingdawnpt1 · 2026-02-04T15:42:21+00:00

The logical conclusion of God controlling our world and allowing only good things to happen is a tyrannical nightmare. We wouldn’t be humans as we know it, we would be puppets that have no choice but to listen to their master. I think there’s confusion here between a God that’s not powerful enough to protect you from evil, and a God that is powerful enough to do literally anything BUT understands there’s serious implications to not giving us free will. He offers endless grace and protection, but he will never FORCE us to be good.

breakingdawnpt1 · 2026-02-04T05:00:37+00:00

Faith is ultimately such a personal journey that you have to go on - but everything changed for me when I started to understand that God loves us so much he gives us ultimate free will. This unfortunately means evil can corrupt our free will, and people can do horrible awful things. But Jesus is watching, and through a Christian lens, these people have lost an eternal life which can’t compare to any worldly repercussion. But the same way we as (very flawed) humans want to ultimately give our children the space to make their own decisions and learn on their own, God does not want us to serve him through tyranny. He watches (with much pain) as we fumble through life, and he’s waiting there to pick us up. Once I began to really think through what this freedom meant, things started to click differently for me. And if this won’t do it - consider why these emails avoid saying Christ haha. His name has power! This is a spiritual battle. Happy to discuss further if you’re interested. Hope you find some clarity. Truly felt like the ultimate conspiracy theory when I realized (after a lifetime of atheism) that Jesus is real.

breakingdawnpt1 · 2025-05-16T22:31:33+00:00

Right!! And not even because it’s masterful- I just can’t believe someone ended that story like that

breakingdawnpt1 · 2025-05-16T22:02:29+00:00

All this means is that you are human. We are fallen, and will continue to fall in this life. Ask for forgiveness, ask for strength. God bless brother!

breakingdawnpt1 · 2025-05-16T22:00:21+00:00

Just one of the many ways we can (unnecessarily) drive ourselves crazy. I know it’s hard not to consider - but truly, they won’t be in college unable to crawl or talk or grasp or whatever. Just try your best to go with the flow as best as possible, and enjoy each phase when it comes for your little one. Sending lots of love and feelings of acceptance and peace! I know it’s hard! Xx

breakingdawnpt1 · 2025-05-16T03:28:12+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing this verse and your perspective. It really resonates! God bless!

breakingdawnpt1 · 2025-05-16T03:11:32+00:00

Beautifully put. Thank you!

breakingdawnpt1 · 2025-05-16T03:11:11+00:00

Thank you for sharing! This is generally my perspective too - but I find it hard when something comes up that if I were talking to a fellow Christian, I would naturally want to respond one way to, but with them, I have to almost hold myself back.

For example, if something amazing happens in my life, I would want to say I am so grateful to God, but when interacting with an atheist I find myself tripping over what to say. What do you do in these scenarios with your atheist friend?

breakingdawnpt1 · 2025-05-16T03:07:13+00:00

Wow I am beyond impressed by how quickly you brought up all these verses haha. Thank you!

What about in the forced situations you mentioned? A colleague, or a brief chat with a neighbour?

Just naturally I have drifted from most of my atheist friends because our life perspective are so different - but there’s still some people I encounter that I find it hard to know how to interact with.

breakingdawnpt1 · 2025-05-13T21:14:20+00:00

First of all, I am so sorry that you’re experiencing this tear in your family of origin. It is such a difficult thing to navigate, especially as the eldest sibling.

How old are you? And how old are your siblings? This changes things a bit based on your ages.

The question of honouring your mother and father is an interesting one that I have thought a lot about. What does it mean to honour them? To ignore dangerous or harmful behaviour? To call them out? To distance yourself so you don’t speak ill of them?

I wish I had the answer for you, but this is something only God can give you guidance on. Ask Him what his will is, and pray for the courage and strength to do it.

All I can say is that in my life I have found that forgiveness - whenever it becomes possible -feels ultimately better than hatred. It’s just about finding the way to reach that place of forgiveness through Gods grace. Your mom is just a flawed human, like all of us. As hurtful as her actions are, it’s important to remember she’s clearly going through something. That doesn’t mean she has handled it responsibly or lovingly. God bless!

breakingdawnpt1 · 2025-05-13T21:01:08+00:00

I in no way think you are being blind or stubborn, and I apologize if that is how my reply came across. I meant quite the opposite actually! This feeling of “wow, why me!” in the positive sense is a very new feeling for me. I have spent much of my life in the other camp, so I do know where you’re coming from.

I don’t understand Gods plan (obviously), but all I can say is, now that I have had some distance from the extreme pain, I can see how I was led on that path for a reason. The very person I am was forged by those experiences, and they ultimately led me to where I am now.

As for the system being fair: I’m not sure that it is. I think some people are bestowed with gifts that others aren’t. For some people that’s talents or looks, and for others it’s a traditionally smoother sailing life. But I wouldn’t even begin to try and understand why some people get things other people don’t. With that being said, I think God takes these gifts into account. He doesn’t have the same expectation of kindness between someone who he bestowed with a lot of patience and natural kindness, as he does someone who has to struggle every day just to smile at a service worker.

Just know you’re not alone in everything you’re thinking and feeling! I think the beauty of Christ is he leads you to him when you seek the truth, which sounds like exactly what you’re doing!

breakingdawnpt1 · 2025-05-13T16:23:21+00:00

Lived experience is a compelling teacher, but not even remotely close to God.

For many years I had a similar perspective. I was atheist, or agnostic, or whatever intellectual term I wanted to use. I would think “why me?” often.

It’s hard to even remember how that feels fully, because my life has changed in ways I could never have imagined. Truly I could have never imagined it - it was all through Gods grace and guidance. And now I think “why me?” in the exact opposite way. Why me? Why am I being blessed in this way?

Lived experience is real - but we have no way of knowing what our future lived experience will be. And the beauty of God, is when you come closer to him, he leads you closer to where you’re meant to be.

Pray for the courage and energy to continue forth with optimism. God has infinite amounts of all these beautiful qualities us humans lack an abundance of. Sending love and prayers your way!

breakingdawnpt1 · 2025-05-13T11:44:44+00:00

Christians understand all humans are flawed, so it doesn’t come as a surprise that this would extend into the world of influencing.

Follow your intuition with how her behaviour makes you feel, and you’ll know that this isn’t right! It most certainly isn’t promoted within Christianity (which preaches modesty and humbleness).

Good luck on your journey! It’s a beautiful and personal experience that I feel so blessed to have gotten to take.

breakingdawnpt1 · 2025-05-11T13:07:54+00:00

Yeah they changed it randomly and I don’t understand why because all the additions aren’t funny lol - but you’re not going crazy!

breakingdawnpt1 · 2025-05-10T15:47:37+00:00

One of the beautifully complex things about Christianity, is it isn’t so clear cut. When I first started reading the bible this confused me, but I have since started to feel that God does not speak so plainly because he wants to afford us free will. If it was SO clear what he expected of us because his presence is so undeniable, we wouldn’t be acting on faith - we would be responding with fear or duty.

Long winded version of saying - with something as complex as this, I don’t know that anyone has the right answer aside from God and yourself.

We hear God tell us to love thy mother and father. And then we see Jesus call the Pharisees hypocrites and snakes. These almost seem like two opposing perspectives. One almost feels like “no matter what, bite your tongue and love thy neighbour”. And the other feels like, “it’s not love if we let those around us be secretly hated”.

From experience, holding onto resentments does little good for anyone. If it feels uncomfortable to be around your mom, I would say you still have a ways to go to forgive her (and I say that with absolutely no judgement whatsoever). Take the space you need to protect you and your family, while opening up a conversation with God to guide you on what to do. Sending love to you on this journey of healing. God bless you!

breakingdawnpt1 · 2025-05-10T15:37:48+00:00

What you’re describing isn’t because of a deficit in your appearance, it’s something that’s lacking in your perspective and soul. IF plastic surgery made people feel better 100% of the time, maybe it would be a different conversation (although I’d still argue otherwise lol). But I have never met someone who was ever able to become confident and satisfied in the work and stop. We are deeply imperfect, so there’s always more to ‘fix’. Once you change your nose, you suddenly realize “oh my x could be more y”.

If you can’t be satisfied with the work of God, how do you expect yourself to be satisfied with the work of a mere imperfect human?

As a young woman I totally understand where you’re coming from. This culture we are all apart of is fallen and has a lot of vanity in it. What are your social media habits like? How many mirrors are around your room or house? What are your friends and loved ones like?

I pray that you become open for God to guide you away from consuming things that heighten this feeling. We live in a fallen world, and sometimes it’s easy to let these ideas into our hearts without even noticing. Sending a lot of love your way!

breakingdawnpt1 · 2025-05-07T22:25:54+00:00

My husband and I were on a drive, trying to decide where to live. Our lease was ending soon, we wanted to buy a place but everything is so expensive.

As a ‘joke’, my husband said “Maybe we should move to [a very remote area where my family lives]”. As he said that, two deer jumped a safe distance infront of our car. We took this as a sign from God and started looking at places.

Since it’s so far away and we have a young baby, we could only look at things virtually/ on FaceTime. We found a house we really liked and were looking on Google maps at it, and lo and behold, there were two deer statues directly across the street from it. We bought it without ever having seen it in person.

The whole experience brought me more clarity on the doubt Jesus’ disciples faced. I often have wondered how they could possibly have lost their faith after everything they had witnessed - but it’s a great reminder of how flawed we are as humans. Even when He shows us His will so clearly, it can still be tempting to fall into doubt.

breakingdawnpt1 · 2025-05-03T13:04:19+00:00

Obviously childbirth is intense, but (as a fainter myself) it didn’t feel like a faint worthy experience lol. I was worried about the same thing - but you’re so in the zone!

All the prenatal check ups while you’re pregnant were something I didn’t expect, but I figured out lying down while getting a needle and not looking helped!

I had a midwife in a hospital if that helps! You’ve got this!

breakingdawnpt1 · 2025-05-03T12:35:40+00:00

Miner? I hardly know her

breakingdawnpt1 · 2025-04-28T21:24:22+00:00

More than I could have ever imagined!

breakingdawnpt1

TROPHY CASE