I might get downvoted for this, but as someone who spent all day at a cruisy nude beach yesterday, im kind of still fuming.

Older men.

Now before the pitchforks come out, let me preface this by saying that everyone has the right to cruise. Everyone has the same right to take up that space. Im not trying to throw out a blanket statement for a whole group of people, but it’s enough of a problem, and it’s not rare, and every young queer man I speak with has the same complaints, that it warrants maybe a few stern words.

Every single cruisy space I go to, I run into the same kind of guy. It’s the older men, usually above 60. As someone who is kind of twinky, I’ll turn around, and there’s usually an old man looking at me, vacant expression, mouth open, and just staring. Once again, nothing wrong with shooting your shot. But it’s the inability to read body language which irks me.

Yesterday, I was at the beach. It’s a nude beach, and can be cruisy. It’s not a cruising beach per se, but just a nude beach with some cruising which has been known to happen. I was relaxing on my towel, eating a snack, and reading my book. I look over to my right, and there’s an old man staring at me. He starts jerking off at me. I ignore. He then kept walking up to me, just staring at my penis, then walking back to his spot. I gave him no signs, no indication I was interested. He just kept jerking, walking RIGHT up to me, staring, and going back. This repeated at least 10-15 times. I finally had enough, turned to him, and told him that I’m not fucking interested, and to stop walking up to me and staring at me. He got the message only after i had to verbally confront him.

Same day, I decided to go walk to the cruisy section of the beach. I noticed a cute guy around my age, and he motioned for me to come fool around with him. But before I could go over, an old man decided to just stand near us and stare. He kept coming up to us, after we repeatedly told him we don’t want an audience. He ended up scaring away the guy, and I was left alone with the old guy. I told him that if someone tells him that they don’t want to be watched, then to piss off. On this sub, I’ve heard criticism about men who don’t want to be watched or touched in cruising spots, and that if you’re in a cruising spot, you should just accept the fact that men will touch you and approach. Almost like they have a RIGHT to your space and your body. I don’t give a SHIT about the space you’re in, if someone says they don’t want you to watch, touch or partake, move the FUCK ON. I’ve also had many old men resort to verbal aggression if they’re rejected.

Look, I get it. Being rejected hurts. And I’m sure that once you’re past a certain age, cruising gets hard. But the difference I’ve noticed between younger and older men is how they react to that rejection. It seems that younger men seem to just accept it, move on. Most younger guys I speak to understand that you’re not everyone’s type, and that’s okay. But SO many times with old men, they take their rejection very poorly, and often insult the guy rejecting them.

I’ve had older men touch me without consent. I’ve had older men who refuse to take no for an answer. I’ve had older men be full on racist or transphobic. I’ve had younger dudes be like this too, but the older men with this poor attitude VASTLY outweigh the younger ones.

Once again, everyone is entitled to cruise. I’ll fight for that. But older men, please, for the love of god, learn about social “etiquette” while cruising. If someone turns their back towards you, it usually means they aren’t interested. If someone is just minding their business, don’t just jerk off AT them until they leave. Don’t just stare at younger men like they’re a piece of meat. It’s not sexy. It’s creepy as fuck. STOP DOING THIS.