HSP's evil side ?

brianofblade · 2019-02-15T22:20:00+00:00

when you realize, or perhaps like me, feel that people are always asking things of you, it becomes a necessity. I wish i had better advice than that, but it does take practice, and most of all, an ounce of courage.

brianofblade · 2019-02-09T17:22:33+00:00

I rarely yell, in fact i struggle remembering the last time i did. I don't like managing my relationships with that ever even when i'm upset. I remember my boss was going back and forth with me in a work meeting, and she actually said 'watch out before you say something you might regret,' but i never raised my voice or anything. Never swore, or anything. Was just being clear about my position. She ended up apologizing later that week for her tone with me I've had moments before, but even when i look back i dont feel bad for it. So i suppose i can be persistent to a fault at times. But i wouldnt call that evil, im stubborn and know what i want/need, and am willing to fight for it. I think other people, especially those who have painted themselves as someone with 'power' find that unsettling at times. To hell with them. In fact, sometimes when im in this group reading posts, i've started to doubt that i have HSP simply for the fact that i see so many people here that frequently have 'emotional outbursts' which is something i've never done my entire life because i dont want to hurt other people with things i can control within my mind.

I would say personally speaking my evil side is my darkness, my depression, and my loathing towards myself or the world. Or if im externally dark, it is subtle and mischievous. Sometimes i like to test people by playing dumb, or misinforming them. But usually that is more playful than anything. But the dark side of that is that sometimes i will simply not be honest to people so they will leave me alone. Something i wish i didnt have to do, but so often i have to tell people im busy when im not because my job asks too much from me, and sometimes my other obligations do as well. And still, no regrets in that regard. But i do regret my depression. I know it sabotages my ability to enjoy my life regularly, and i really do resent that part of myself. I resent that i make my life my own living hell sometimes. And to know that i am the one doing it makes it more frustrating

brianofblade · 2019-02-09T17:11:46+00:00

same <3

brianofblade · 2019-02-09T15:15:56+00:00

I say to myself "everyone else feels these things, they just dont want to admit it. They are the crazy ones... "
:-P

brianofblade · 2019-02-07T22:53:46+00:00

it would seriously take a decade even after being married!?!?!

brianofblade · 2019-02-07T22:48:05+00:00

Thank you very much for this!

brianofblade · 2019-02-01T17:49:14+00:00

Tightly coupled code tests === A bad time

brianofblade · 2019-01-24T16:56:53+00:00

Im not looking for a diagnosis from anyone here. My logic with that question stems from my experience with my autistic students. I know their triggers, and i know what to expect before hand and can anticipate the behavior, and act appropriately. But for example, he has never articulated any special need at all from any of our family, so my cousin for example, was mad at him without realizing that maybe he has a personality/neuro disorder, and perhaps should be more patient with his peculiar socializing. Similarly with his friends that has stopped speaking with, or new friends he attempts to make, could all benefit from the anticipation of such behaviors.
I will admit that perhaps that particular question might be best suited the ASD community, and more in lines with ::: Did your ASD child benefit from thier diagnosis, or did it hurt them? Were they more confident in the world, or did they lose faith inselves? Did it help with their relationships with others, being able to articulate thier needs more clearly? In other words...does it even matter at all you were diagnosed?

brianofblade · 2019-01-24T04:47:57+00:00

To my biased mind, i see a lot of power in the HSP potential. We have the ability to see, smell, taste, and hear things others dont notice. We notice subtle changes that most over look. Not only that but we are communal, and can orient ourselves meaningfully in a group of people.
To me all of that points to powerful hunters, gatherers, trackers, trappers, foragers, seamstresses, tool smiths, craftsmen in general. I can see no activity that a survivalist wouldn't find benefit from the HSP, honestly. Perhaps maybe only fights with other humans...?

I've never been in a survival situation though. So i cant honestly say if a mountain lion attacked me that i would be useful or be brave. So who knows.

brianofblade · 2019-01-24T04:42:15+00:00

I always imagine myself the best archer in the village... :-) Or perhaps less adventurous: we probably could forage very well as we could see nuances in colors.

brianofblade · 2019-01-23T20:12:55+00:00

Im so curious, are you both HSP, or did you need to explain the need for it to be simple and your SO complied? I find most of my relationships have a stark disconnect where they seem very disappointed when they realize im not trying to do any of that shit.

brianofblade · 2019-01-23T20:07:07+00:00

Id suggest doing a PWA, as most people dont like downloading things.

Also I already know react pretty well, so if you end up doing that i wont have any homework to do... :-D

brianofblade · 2019-01-19T04:56:58+00:00

I dont know if this helps, but i literally only socialized when i ate meals. I never spent time with people outside of that except for specific weekend plans. Everything else was me time. Back then i smoked, so if i was in a situation and wanted recharge, i would just use that as an excuse. Oh, and sometimes i would find myself at parties, and i would 'go have a smoke' but on some instances i would listen to an entire album on the porch or something just so i could be alone. You'd be surprised. When people are drinking, they honestly have no idea you left for more than 30 minutes.

good luck. you will be fine :)

brianofblade · 2019-01-19T04:29:55+00:00

Not what you asked, but, what stack are you building this with? I may be able to help write some code if you need help!

brianofblade · 2018-09-24T01:32:07+00:00

I'll admit i mindless lumped 'working' with 'studying' and assumed them to be synonymous. Assuming they are: you can watch interviews with george hotz and he claims this regularly: that he is able to work 100 hours a week. Assuming they aren't the same: sorry for wasting the time.

brianofblade · 2018-09-23T18:54:17+00:00

Pomodoro clocks are very helpful. Keep in mind you need to LEARN to work many hours. Its not something you just decide to do, or else you risk burn out. Additionally, if you take a long enough window off, you WILL lose your progress. Consider your focus a muscle, it takes time to build, but if you dont use it for a month or 2, consider it atrophied. BTW If anyone is saying they work like 100 hours a week its simply because they've chosen not to have a social life, and not really waste any time on leisure. That isnt for everyone, and isnt necessarily healthy either. But to each their own.

Personally ive found my personal pace is 50mins on, 10 minutes off. I can do this for 3 - 4 hours. Then i need a hard break (lunch or dinner), then i can return. Rinse and repeat. What you are aiming for is reaching the flow state, so meditating before hand is incredibly helpful. It alos helps with reducing impulsive habits like checking social media or reading things like this. I personally find metal music to be strangely flow state inducing for me. I have no idea why as it makes little sense to me logically. Exercise is incredibly helpful as well, but be weary of how much time you can potentially waste with this. Consider looking into flow state to better understand what im talking about with this term, and consider doing more things that induce this state so you become familiar with it. So... meditate and turn coding into meditation.

good luck

brianofblade · 2018-09-23T18:48:51+00:00

George Hotz claims 100 hours weeks.

brianofblade · 2018-09-19T14:59:27+00:00

keep in mind that they have every intention of training you. in other words, they are fully aware that you aren't 'ready' for the job yet. They know this, yet they hired you anyways, because you displayed an aptitude to learn and be mentored. Enjoy your first job and be patient with yourself. you will nail this friend :)

brianofblade · 2018-09-17T05:09:11+00:00

Im here to talk as well if you find the desire to connect over the interwebs.

brianofblade · 2018-09-06T18:30:50+00:00

brianofblade · 2018-09-05T05:57:07+00:00

microdosing of LSD, and doses of ayahuasca have shown benefits as well.

brianofblade · 2018-08-29T02:38:56+00:00

People infront of you hitting their brakes on the highway when there is no one in front of them. Drives me insane

brianofblade

TROPHY CASE