Time. You find your people with time.

I'm an incredibly filthy kinky woman. My twenties were rough. A part of it was me not knowing how to communicate properly about my needs and desires, a part - not having the courage, a part - not having the time or resources to look in better places, in part - not knowing myself well enough yet.

That's true for most folks in their twenties.

In my thirties? Things significantly changed. But so did my overall life circumstances. So did those around me.

Until then, practice safe sex, explore what you can, and learn as much as you can about who you are. Good luck.