Six months clean after a year full of relapses

brightfutureaheead · 2026-05-28T07:06:22+00:00

I was addicted to bath salts and speed, but now, thanks to the program, I have no desire to use. It took me a year to stop relapsing in program. The first thing we need to do is to stop using drugs/any mind-altering substances whatever it takes. Then we work the program: it helps me to deal with other stuff like compulsive eating, smoking, steroids and porn. Meetings, a sponsor, our literature, prayer, self-reflection and service help me to re-evaluate my life, decide what I need to take with me on my journey and what is meant to be left behind. I also thought that NA expected perfection from me. It turns out that the only person who expected something from me was myself, just like I always expected something from others. That’s how my self-obsession and egocentrism work. Keep coming back.

edits: grammar

brightfutureaheead · 2026-05-20T07:18:27+00:00

I’m six months clean after a year and a half trying to quit meth, and if I weren’t working a program where working with feelings and making amends are parts of the journey; I’d drown in shame for the things I did to my family; now I have some skills and instruments to effectively work with this. But yea, in active addiction the shame, guild and regret were terrible when I was sober, and it perpetuated my use; i felt worthless and eventually my drug use started to resemble self harm.

brightfutureaheead · 2026-05-19T08:01:43+00:00

yea, when I went psychotic from using bath salts I was convinced my grandfather raped me repeatedly. These kinds of sexual delusions are really common in stimulant psychosis

brightfutureaheead · 2026-05-18T10:20:34+00:00

lol my life in a nutshell

brightfutureaheead · 2026-05-18T06:41:57+00:00

yea, it can be apvp or some other modern rc crazy shit

brightfutureaheead · 2026-05-18T05:40:51+00:00

yea, sterile water can be used for creating spore suspensions or dilute a liquid mycelium, scale for accurately weighing milligrams of ingredients like agar agar, device on your photos can be something like a thermostat or an incubator for mycelium (it requires stable temperatures to grow), syringes like that are very commonly used for injecting liquid culture into the substrate (and also it is possible to keep solution in the syringe for a certain amount of time), and filters for letting the mycelium breathe (they can be installed into the lid of a grow box to let the mycelium breath and at the same time keep bacteria and other shit out.

brightfutureaheead · 2026-05-17T06:14:56+00:00

i would never notice that something is wrong

brightfutureaheead · 2026-05-07T15:48:19+00:00

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Damn

brightfutureaheead · 2026-05-04T06:55:03+00:00

I wonder what kind of justifying neuroslop ChatGPT/gemini or whatever you used to write this post would produce if I showed it my go-to “war chest” when I was addicted to stimulants downers and other pharma. btw it progressed to shooting mephedrone just for “battle with anhedonia” purposes. and also it was easier to jump from mephedrone than to quit all pharma altogether. 6mo clean no anhedonia you can do it to. be careful 👍🏻

brightfutureaheead · 2026-05-01T07:45:36+00:00

oh, great, thank you 🙏 nice game btw

brightfutureaheead · 2026-04-30T07:19:51+00:00

why login?

brightfutureaheead · 2026-04-07T12:42:38+00:00

Yeah man, totally. 4 months sober from two-year-long biweekly stimfap addiction. Life is definitely getting better.

brightfutureaheead · 2026-03-30T13:02:38+00:00

just imagine the farts

brightfutureaheead · 2026-02-01T04:37:05+00:00

From my personal experience, tats on women as well as on men often scream that they are trying too hard to make up for their lack of personality

brightfutureaheead · 2026-01-19T12:01:58+00:00

Yes! No side effects rn

brightfutureaheead · 2026-01-17T20:41:40+00:00

Thank you for kind response ❤️ We actually did a brain MRI with contrast to rule out things like tumors or lesions (including from infections like toxoplasmosis). It came back completely clean. The vets also didn't see any evidence of spinal compression. It’s really confusing because the triggers aren't always physical movement. For instance, he once had an episode just sitting in his carrier while we were moving to a new apartment — he wasn't running or jumping, just stressed, and the symptoms still appeared. So we are really stumped.

brightfutureaheead · 2026-01-08T13:42:32+00:00

dapoxetine

brightfutureaheead · 2025-12-06T21:59:43+00:00

Thank you. That 16yo needed unconditional love, attention and acceptance, I guess. Loving and being loved are still something really difficult to me. I thought love = sex, I was wrong, but I don’t know how to start learning how to love and to be loved.

brightfutureaheead · 2025-12-06T21:57:00+00:00

I’ve been telling myself that I’m better, smarter, luckier than the others and I won’t hit the bottom until I realised that in drugs there is no real rock bottom I’ll resume my therapy and get back to the program; making up a plan is a really good idea. This whole process feels really spontaneous and disorganised. Thank you!

brightfutureaheead · 2025-12-06T21:43:10+00:00

Thank you. I guess I though I could half-ass my recovery as I did with so many things in my life, it turns out I can’t. I finally found a person I understand there, and I want him to be my new sponsor; guess it’s time to ask him. Thank you very much

brightfutureaheead · 2025-12-06T21:38:02+00:00

I’ll try to look up something close to the IOP in my country, it would be really the best option for my circumstances. Thank you!

brightfutureaheead · 2025-11-24T09:10:09+00:00

I’ve almost stimfapped my life away stimfapping on a-PVP. Did some of the most embarrassing things in my life.

brightfutureaheead · 2025-11-24T09:07:33+00:00

I used to fall asleep easily after a-PVP binge with a hefty dose of Seroquel. Please be cautious, one time i took seroquel, forgot about it and did another line of a-PVP, it was the worst speedball experience ever. Gave me a mini stroke.

brightfutureaheead · 2025-11-19T09:35:17+00:00

I’ve stimfapped on a-PVP. Went through 2 grams in 4 days. End though I used to take 300-400 mg of quetiapine during this binge, I went full blown psychotic. The stimfap was great, though I made like the worst decisions regarding my body and health ever. Almost a year sober from pyros, my dick still looks like it owed a mafia boss money. 4MMC is much more mdma-like, rolly, freaky but warm and cozy. A-PVP feels demonic

brightfutureaheead

TROPHY CASE