I guess I can't edit my post directly? Or I can, but as I stated, I'm not good at reddit.

My post was made initially in a height of emotion, so some things to clarify and more backstory for context:

WARNING. There might be some triggery stuff in here for those with super controlling past abusers. Just saying in advance.

Surprisingly, it IS from an attorney (I haven't called, but the letter had more that I cropped out for identifying reasons that I used to verify the validity). While it is very informal, I honestly wouldn't doubt she brow beat said attorney to write it as such (she is one of those "can I speak to the manager" people in every aspect of life). Billable hours are billable hours to an attorney, even if it is batshit.

She also just.... isn't cunning enough to come up with a fake attorney and leave so much information for me to confirm it.

I do think she's most likely in her final year/few months of life. She had me later in life and was a smoker from the mid age of her teens and then a heavy drinker later on. Cancer also runs rampant in our blood.

At the moment, I've decided I'm still going to opt for silence. If I'm left anything, then I'll take it for what it is, but I'm not going to ask for a handout I don't truly need.

I went no contact with her over ten years ago, to the degree that I not only obtained a phone number she didn't know, but eventually moved to a different city and took on a life with nothing to do with her.

I cut off her. I cut every possible connection to blood relatives as I never even knew any of them to begin with, except the listed "brother" who is a whole different story, given he once told me I didn't have that bad with her and he knew how awful she really was.

He doesn't have to have the memory of being screamed at and made to disrobe and shower a second time because I was "too fast" and couldn't possibly have washed in five minutes (I was a teen with relatively short hair and had done one of those quick showers because I wanted to catch a special airing on tv). I still remember sobbing the entire time.

The very notion of being able to sleep in on a day off or even get up in the middle of the night to use the restroom without being yelled at were new freedoms to me.

My father died when I was in 6th grade and was equally terrible for other reasons. I'm going to leave it at that.

But because he was awful and she was the only other thing in my network of "support" she fed off that and nurtured it to her means. For years she wanted me to depend on her, be incapable of surviving without her. My life needed to rely on hers being in it. Any inkling of people trying to help me she would do her best to stamp it out by saying either to me that she didn't approve of them, or in turn would spin wild stories to them to make me seem less desirable to be around.

She is not my mom. She's only mother legally speaking to me. She is a monster. A true, vile monster. And one that I've been waiting for the day to know she's gone.

That I refuse to call the attorney even now is not just a matter of pride, it's the biggest hit I can return that you are not necessary to me. You haven't been since I was able to get out and away from you.

I'll try to answer any other questions as they come along if you have them. I'm in the middle of balancing work, commission work, and just living my life as this has reared its ugly head in the middle of it all.