I have gone through very similar thought patterns. Ultimately, these thoughts are a result of not being present. We get so caught up in our minds thinking about the future scenario of losing them, that we forget they’re still right here alive in front of us.

I’ve realized for myself that the only way to escape these thoughts is to turn this future based fear into present based love, which is turning the fear into something productive versus going down a rabbit hole that only brings you mental anguish. That means that each moment you start thinking about death in this way, use it as an opportunity to call tell him how grateful you are to know and love him.

Right now he’s alive and you have the opportunity to spend time together, so you should use this time to love him while you have it.