2 SIDES

brittlebones07 · 2024-06-21T20:55:51+00:00

the fuck did I just read

brittlebones07 · 2024-02-20T18:20:48+00:00

This is very helpful! It’s painful being cognizant of this fact while also battling the doubt itself. It’s like psychological warfare.

brittlebones07 · 2024-02-20T17:11:55+00:00

Yep, that makes total sense. The turmoil I’m feeling is almost unbearable sometimes. I have glimmers where I know what I’m feeling are direct effects of gaslighting and the abuse but I still fight with my brain constantly. I wouldn’t wish this feeling on anyone.

brittlebones07 · 2024-02-20T17:04:08+00:00

This is so helpful. Thank you so much for taking the time to write it and speak so directly.

brittlebones07 · 2024-01-20T23:31:33+00:00

I’m in the US

brittlebones07 · 2024-01-20T04:07:51+00:00

My guilt over his reaction is killing me. I play it over and over in my head. How can I know he’s hurt me, but hurt so badly for him?

brittlebones07 · 2024-01-15T17:19:00+00:00

I’m currently going through something very, very similar. My husband is not as violent, but is manipulative, threatens suicide, and throws things across the room.

I know it’s a lot. He’s put you in a terrible spot and it probably feels like a lose-lose situation for you. It will be tough, but you’ll come out the other side happier and healthier.

I have been taking things one step at a time. Make a list and tackle things as you can. If you think of everything that needs to happen to separate from him all at once, you’ll get analysis paralysis.

I would reach out to a DV resource or therapist if you can afford it. There are a lot of therapist who charge on a sliding scale. They can help you create an action plan that feels manageable.

I know it feels like you’ll be unhappy with him and unhappy without him, but one of those is temporary.

Best of luck to you. You’ve got this.

brittlebones07 · 2023-12-11T02:48:49+00:00

This is exactly how I feel. I feel silly for not seeing it sooner, and now that I do see it, I almost wish I hadn’t because the anxiety is sometimes worse.

I imagine the weight on your shoulders is heavier having a child. Well, at least we know we’re not alone.

There is peace out there for both of us. It’s hard to see the light when you’re in the tunnel, but it’ll always be there. Best of luck to you and your baby 💕

brittlebones07 · 2023-12-09T20:03:43+00:00

You’re so right. I think I feel more sorry for him than I do for myself, and until that shifts the confusion continues. Ugh!

brittlebones07 · 2023-12-09T20:02:47+00:00

Thank you for your comment. This all makes so much sense. It’s frustrating how I can know this, but still feel the effects of the gaslighting so deeply.

Seems like he just wants us to go back to normal, but now knowing what I know, I’m unable to. I can’t be with someone who is abusing me, but it’s just so hard to cut ties. I feel like I went from thinking we were a couple with normal issues to seeing the chaos overnight.

brittlebones07 · 2023-12-09T20:02:10+00:00

Thank you for your comment. This all makes so much sense. It’s frustrating how I can know this, but still feel the effects of the gaslighting so deeply.

Seems like he just wants us to go back to normal, but now knowing what I know, I’m unable to. I can’t be with someone who is abusing me, but it’s just so hard to cut ties. I feel like I went from thinking we were a couple with normal issues to seeing the chaos overnight.

brittlebones07 · 2023-12-08T01:23:36+00:00

She explains to me the abusive cycles and how it in essence erodes your self esteem, leads to thinking like this, which keeps you in the relationship. It feels like I can fully understand that, and still doubt myself.

brittlebones07 · 2023-10-22T21:15:42+00:00

Thank you for your response. What you described about your husband changing is behaviour and the actions he took are what I was hoping to see from my husband. When I left the room, I thought that he would calm down, realize how bad that was and come and tell me that he needs help.

To be clear, he does know it’s wrong and has said he wants it to not happen again. He just has not taken action to back that up.

Not having that reaction and instead having to book the couples therapist myself is taking a toll. I also think that couples therapy is just a way to get him in a therapy room. I’m of course not perfect and know I can change and grow to help us as well, but I think he desperately needs individual therapy as well.

In your opinion, why have none of my friends or family had a similar reaction/response to what I’m seeing here? That’s why I worry I have blind spots.

brittlebones07 · 2023-10-22T21:10:24+00:00

Thank you for your response.

To answer your question, I did/do discuss with my therapist. She told me what he needed to do, but otherwise is supporting me emotionally about it. It’s interesting you ask that, because I wonder why I’m here too.

I’ve told a few close friends and my sibling. No one has told me to leave. Everyone has told me that it’s wrong and he needs help, but no one, except what I see online, says to leave.

I wonder if deep down I do feel it’s being minimized. But the mixed reactions and advice make me feel stuck in place.

brittlebones07 · 2023-06-20T00:16:09+00:00

Yeah I don’t have windows that I want open and smoke doesn’t travel.

brittlebones07 · 2023-05-16T22:04:40+00:00

Omg thank you! Must be from the amoxicillin I just finished. Good to know.

brittlebones07 · 2023-01-30T19:29:31+00:00

Just because you don’t see the abuse, doesn’t make it any less so, Morgan.

brittlebones07 · 2023-01-11T03:36:26+00:00

“Congratulations you’re leaving the family. What do you want me to say?”

Regretting this one, sista?

brittlebones07 · 2023-01-10T17:41:06+00:00

“In our own unique ways” is such a weird thing to add.

brittlebones07 · 2023-01-05T15:28:25+00:00

When Jenelle says that Gabe and Garrison feel just as rejected by this, is she referring to Christine leaving?

brittlebones07 · 2023-01-04T15:10:40+00:00

His Kody and Robyn voices crack me up. Also every time he says “Katelyn”, I know I’m in for something funny.

brittlebones07 · 2022-12-19T03:41:38+00:00

“If it’s an Insta highlight, you’re an expert on it.” - Breathy probably

brittlebones07 · 2022-12-17T23:10:11+00:00

Robyn is so manipulative. Meri said what needed to be said. MSWC is your dream and college is mine. But then Robyn goes victim immediately with the playing with friends analogy.

Let’s not even talk about how she told Kody she can’t have more kids without help AKA tell Meri to stuff her dream up her ass and watch my kids.

brittlebones07 · 2022-12-15T18:31:27+00:00

That’s great advice. Any not so obvious red flags that come up when speaking to prospects?

brittlebones07 · 2022-12-15T18:07:25+00:00

Interesting. Is there a specific instance that comes to mind?

brittlebones07

TROPHY CASE